بخش 03

He wants a glass of water!

Make it a double!

Give him the spittoon!

Cactus juice.

That’s what we got.

Hey, there, fruit cup.

You’re a long ways from home, ain’t ya?

Who exactly are you?

Who am I?

I could be anyone.

What’s the matter?

You missing your mommy’s mangos?

As a matter of fact, l am.

But not as much as your daddy’s cooking!

Exactly where did you say you were from?

Me?

l’m from the West.

Out there, beyond the horizon.

Past the sunset.

The Far West.

Yeah, that’s right, hombres.

The place l come from, we kill a man before breakfast just to work up an appetite.

Then we salt him, and we pepper him.

Then we braise him in clarified butter.

And then we eat him.

You eat him?

That’s what l said!

Hell, l seen things make a grown man lose control of his glandular functions!

You spend three days in a horse carcass, living off your own juices.

It’ll change a man.

Oh, yeah.

Had a few extra aces in this deck, gents.

Just the way l like it.

So, no, my hirsute little rodent friend, l am not from around these parts.

You might say l’m from everywhere there’s trouble brewing and hell waiting to be raised.

You might say l’m what hell’s already raised up.

Name’s Rango.

Are you the fella that killed them Jenkins brothers?

Killed them with one bullet.

Don’t get no deader.

All seven of them?

That’s right.

All seven of them.

Exactly how you do that, Mr Rango?

You know, l’m glad you asked me that.

And l will be happy to tell you how.

But you’re all gonna have to listen up!

Because this is where it gets complicated.

That’ll close out your account, Mrs Oats, two gulps and a swig.

Hands off, Mordecai!

That’s what’s left of your college education!

l don’t rightly have no other choice, Beans.

Times being so hard, we just can’t give no more credit.

But this here is a bank.

This is where you keep the water.

Beans, you’ve been like a niece to me ever since your daddy did not fall drunk down a mine shaft.

I’ve tried to protect you and others from certain realities.

But that, Well.

Mr Merrimack?

Realities are bearing down.

Mr Merrimack!

Are you all right?

Beans, l need to show you something.

That’s all that’s left?

And this here is the reserve!

l don’t know if you’ve noticed, but folks just ain’t making deposits on a Wednesday no more!

Mr Merrimack, if l don’t get some water, l’m gonna lose my ranch and you’re telling me that’s all that’s left in the whole town?

Now that just don’t make no sense.

Now, listen.

Someone is dumping water in the desert.

l seen it with my own eyes.

Water in the desert?

Was this during one of your special times?

No.

Well, we can all dream, but this is the reality.

Why do you think so many people are selling out?

They just can’t make it.

Well, what am l supposed to do?

Well, l suppose we could talk to the Mayor.

l hear he’s been helping people out in this time of crisis.

The Mayor?

He may be our only hope.

Bullet hits a shovel, ricochets back towards number three, and that’s when the roof caved in, igniting the thermos of pure grain alcohol instantly vapourising his bodily form, leaving nothing but a charcoal statue and a high-pitched squeal.

Hold on, there.

That’s only six.

What happened to number seven?

Number seven?

Hell, he died of infection.

Seven men!

One bullet!

Drinks all around!

Dance for me, Sod Buster!

Yes, dance like a chicken!

That’s right!

Dance!

You got corn in your ears, mate?

You don’t pay the mortgage, you don’t own the land!

That’s basic real estate law, my friend.

Quid pro quo!

If l see your face in this town again, l’m gonna slice it off and use it to wipe my unmentionables.

Mind the beak.

And don’t come back!

What are you all gawping at?

Hey, Bad Bill, there’s something l got to tell you!

What is this?

You know who that is, Bill?

That there’s Rango!

Yeah, he ain’t afraid of you!

He ain’t afraid of none of you.

Killed them Jenkins brothers.

Done it with one bullet, Bill.

All seven of them!

Is that right?

Let me get that before you.

No.

Oh, l know.

Here.

Just take care of that for you.

There.

All better.