بخش 04

TO

TO

Just a second

All right, now listen

l’m going to give you fellas one last chance to reconsider

And if you don’t want to reconsider l might consider reconsidering myself

Now that’s what l’m talking about Yeah

All right, now listen up

Things are going to be different around here now that Rango’s in town

Got some new rules

l want my shoes shined every morning,

my coffee hot, Danish on the side

Whatever you do, don’t look me in the eye

Stay out of my peripheral vision

It’s Rango

What’s he up to

He ain’t afraid of nobody

He’s telling that bird what’s for

And when you see me coming, stand aside

I take large steps and l don’t want none of you hayseeds getting your bodily fluids on my boots

Of course, there is no need for violence, as long as we stick together, work as a team

So l want you all to come outside now and line up single file while l take a brief intermission

What’s he doing now

l think it’s a number two

Never mind

Take a looksee over here

Well, look at him now

He’s chasing after that hawk

Give him hell, Rango

Did you see that

He killed that thing

What do you think, Doc

This hawk is dead

Shoot, l say we cook that right up

He did it with one bullet

Just like he said

It’s about time we had a hero around here

One who ain’t in a pine box

l think it’s time he met the Mayor

You hear that, Rango

You’re going to meet the Mayor

Let’s hear it for Rango

And so the stranger basks in the adulation of his new friends, sinking deeper into the guacamole of his own deception

When is he going to die

Soon, compadre

Soon

My land is not for sale

l came here to save my land, not sell it

l’m sure there’s something reasonable we can work out if you just talk to him

Beans

Where are you going

Beans

The Mayor will see you now

Water, Mr Rango, water

Without it, there’s nothing but dust and decay

But with water there’s life

Look at them, so desperate to live, they’ll follow it anywhere

That’s the immutable law of the desert

Control the water and you control everything

But l don’t have to tell you that being a true man of the West, as you are

Oh, yeah

The West is the best

This is from my private stock

Vintage rainwater from the Great Deluge

Not Noah’s deluge

Good heavens, l’m not that old

l guess power has its privileges

You make a good point, son

But with privilege comes responsibility

Hell, l was mayor here before there was a Dirt

And l may be just a sentimental old turtle but l think there’s a future for this town

And l hope you’ll be part of it

To Dirt

To Dirt

You see them, Mr Rango

All my friends and neighbours

It’s a hard life here

Very hard

Do you know how they make it through each and every day

They believe

They believe it’s going to be better

They believe that the water will come

They believe against all odds and all evidence that tomorrow will be better than today

People have to believe in something

Right now, they believe in you

Pick it up, Mr Rango

Your destiny awaits

People have to believe in something

It’s almost noon

Is everything ready

Yeah

But he might be a problem

He’s not a problem, William

He’s a solution

It just don’t make no sense

This whole town is drying up, and the Mayor is the only one who don’t seem to be affected

Doesn’t that make you just a wee bit suspicious

And what about that water I saw out in the desert

I’d seen that with my own eyes

All right

No need to incite anxiety

I’ll inquire about the Mayor

But if you really feel there’s some conspiracy occurring,

l suggest you take it up with the new sheriff

This is going to be good

Hey

Watch that needle there

Not too tight

l want to leave room for some pucker

That’s good

Oh, easy there, tiger

A little up and back

l don’t think so

Have you got French cuffs with that

Excuse me, Sheriff Rango

l want to talk to you

Hey, Beans, what do you think of the new duds

l got a 10 gallon hat marked down from 15

That’s nice

Have you met Angelique

Hello, Beans

Hello, Angelique

Tart

Floozy

Trollop

Excuse me, Mr Rango

l will blow that ugly right off your face

l was just thinking that

You want the old John Hancock, do you

Well, here

Hold this

Sheriff Rango, this isn’t a social call

There’s a bullet in there

l know about the shindig this afternoon

l ordered myself some right fancy duds

Sheriff, l’d like to file a

Mr Rango

Oh, you, too

No problem

Here, let me just

l need you to investigate

You know, Beans, l bet you clean up real nice, you put a little effort into it

What

Now, remember, son, stay in school, eat your veggies, burn everything but Shakespeare

Who’s Shakespeare

Sheriff Rango, if that is your real name

l am trying to save my daddy’s ranch, which is on the verge of an agricultural meltdown while you’re playing pattycake with this here trollop

Sad, really

Such a drab little thing

Why does she do that

It’s a survival reflex

Her switch is just broken

Well, that’s an inconvenience

It is not a rash

It is a birthmark

l did it again, didn’t l

Did what

Let me ask you something

Did anybody here mention what happened to our last sheriff