بخش 06

The bank’s been robbed!

Good Lord, the bank’s been robbed!

What’s going on?

It’s gone! The water’s all gone!

What’d he say?

He said the bank’s been robbed, Dr. Marx!

l’m on fire!

Embrace me!

The bank’s been robbed, the town is dry “We ‘II die of thirst,” the people cry

He promised to protect the vault

The water’s gone, it’s all his fault

All right, folks, stand back, clear the area.

This is a crime scene now.

Secure the perimeter, dust for prints, check for fibres, scan for DNA.

l want a urine sample from everyone.

And get me a latte.

And don’t mix up the two.

What’s this?

Prospecting Permit.

I’ll take that.

Material evidence.

What are we gonna do now, Sheriff?

We need that water.

We’re all going to die!

My friends, we all know what we have to do now.

That’s right.

We all know what we have to do now.

And that would be?

Form a posse.

Form a possum!

A posse.

Now, we’re gonna be doing this in an orderly fashion.

First off, does anybody here know how to use a firearm of any kind?

All right, then.

What do we do now, Sheriff?

Now we ride!

Where are we going?

What?

Where are we going?

Now, as my deputy, you’ll be in charge of all tracking and finding of villains, utilising your well-developed lnjun-uity, no offence taken.

So which way do you think they went?

You want to sniff the air or commune with a buffalo or something?

Oh, you’re good.

l’m depending on you, Spoons.

You got a little tobaccy in the beard there.

Always good to have a medical man along, Doc.

Reptiles got to stick together, right, my brother?

l’m an amphibian.

Ain’t no shame in that.

You sure you’re fit for duty there, soldier?

Well, you got a little something in your eye there.

Oh, that?

That there’s conjunctivitis, sir.

It’s hereditary.

Well, l’m glad to hear it’s not contagious.

Now, just wait a cotton-picking minute!

A posse ain’t no place for a.

Never mind.

Hold on there, little sister.

Someone’s gonna have to look after the town while l’m gone.

Can l gut-shoot someone?

Let’s put a pin in that.

Sheriff, you’re going to bring that water back, aren’t you?

Count on it, little sister.

Which way do we go, Sheriff?

There’s tunnels everywhere.

Whole town’s perforated with them.

She got more holes in her than a painted lady on a porcupine.

Hey, my daddy took me to her place.

Not what l expected.

How’d them fellers find the bank, anyway?

Gentlemen, if we can just stay on task here.

Sheriff!

Over here!

Would you look at that?

Like seeing the face of God.

Amen, brother.

l remember when it used to flow every Wednesday.

Those were the halcyon days.

Must be a reason she quit on us.

Whatever the reason, something is controlling this here water.

What do you say, Sheriff?

Clearly, the robbers came from this direction.

l say we track this pipe back to its hydraulic origin and apprehend the culprits behind this aquatic conundrum.

What’d he say?

l think he said follow the pipe.

-He said follow the pipe. -He said follow the pipe.

Sure is humid down here.

Yeah, it’s activating my piles.

l had a goitre removed once.

Looked like Tony Bennett stepping out of the shower.

Shoot, l put that on a tortilla.

Whatever you do, do not look down.

What is this place?

It’s an aquifer.

What’s an aquifer?

Well, it’s for aqua.

Well, it’s empty now.

That’s a big one.

It’s the end of the line.

Don’t go no further.

Well, now that there is a pipe.

It’s got to be connected to something.

You talk too much.

Why don’t you put a cork in it?

Why don’t you put a cork.

Tell you where the sun don’t shine.

Your mama did.

l’ll cook her right up.

You two just don’t get it, do you?

Someone or something is messing with our hydration and that pipe has got something to do with it.

l thought we was following bank robbers!

We’re experiencing a paradigm shift.

l’m gonna shift the features on your face if you don’t shut up!

Go ahead and try!

Quiet, you savages!

Stop your rattling. You’re affecting my cogitation.

Whoa!

l got it.

Snuff out them torches.

Sure enough.

Smart thinking there, feller.

Start climbing.

Get your foot out of my face!

Not bad, huh, Beans?

You keep thinking like that, your hat’s gonna catch on fire.

Well, you know, you get on a roll, you just.

Hot, hot!

Burn.

Poor things.

All they wanted was a little water.

Cactus dying of thirst.

It don’t bode well.

Hey, look what l found!

What you got there?

l saw that first!

It got some water!

Hey, that’s mine!

Give me that!

It’s empty anyway.

l knew that.

Where’d you find that?

Sheriff!

You’re going to want to see this!

It’s Mr Merrimack from the bank.

What’s he doing here?

Everybody stand back.

All right, let me see.

Looks like them varmints shot him in the back.

No, this man wasn’t shot.

He was drowned!

Drowned? In the middle of the desert?

What a way to go.

Well, now, whose boot prints are those?

That’s interesting.

The ground’s still wet.

l suppose we should bury him.

l don’t know.

Birds got to eat, too.

Circle of life!

Sheriff.

Will you say a few words?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Dearly beloved.

We are gathered here today to honor this man.

Mr Merrimack, you have the right to remain silent.

Speak now or forever hold your peace.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Hey!

What’s that dad-gum Indian doing?

l see you’re consulting with the spirits.

No, l’m moulting.

Means l’m ready to mate.

l’ll keep that in mind.

Cactus fruit.

Ah, yes.

The ancient cactus fruit.

l believe your people use it as seasoning when preparing your native dishes.

Also natural laxative.

Pick up trail.

Three men heading west.

One blind, one with enlarged prostate, riding sidesaddle.

What did he say?

They’re riding sidesaddle.

What? Shhh!

We’re whispering.

What’d he say?

Someone’s got a bad valve.

All right, which one of you fellers needs a check-up?

Awkward.

What exactly are we going to do now?

Now we ride!

That means we’re riding now!

This moment.

Marshmallows remind me of going camping with my daddy.

l could eat them all night long.

Of course he did make me cough them back up again for breakfast.

This one time, l coughed up an entire Dalmatian.

That ain’t nothing.

l coughed up a whole tribe of pygmies.

They started looking at me weird.

l remember them.

They was quite friendly.

l found a human spinal column in my fecal matter once.

You might want to get that looked at.

Pass the beans, Beans.

Sheriff?

No, thanks.

Mr Rango?

Can you tell us about the Spirit of the West?

Yeah, tell us about that.

ls it true what they say?

Yes, the Spirit of the West!

The eternally unattainable ideal.

They say he rides in an alabaster carriage with golden guardians to protect him.

But he only appears to those who have undertaken an epic quest!

And have made it to the other side.