5بخش

I was placed in a tower to await the day my true love would rescue me.

That’s why I have to marry Lord Farquaad tomorrow before the sun sets and he sees me like this.

All right, all right.

Calm down.

Look, it’s not that bad.

You’re not that ugly.

Well, I am not gonna lie.

You are ugly.

But you only look like this at night.

Shrek’s ugly 24-7.

But, Donkey, I’m a princess, and this is not how a princess is meant to look.

Princess, how ‘bout if you don’t marry Farquaad?

I have to.

Only my true love’s kiss can break the spell.

But, you know, um, you’re kind of an ogre, and Shrek– well, you got a lot in common.

Shrek?

Princess, I–

Uh, how’s it going, first of all?

Good?

Um, good for me too.

I’m okay.

I saw this flower and thought of you because it’s pretty and well, I don’t really like it, but I thought you might like it ‘cause you’re pretty.

But I like you anyway.

I’d– uh, uh–

I’m in trouble.

Okay, here we go.

I can’t just marry whoever want.

Take a good look at me, Donkey.

I mean, really, who could ever love a beast so hideous and ugly?

Princessand ugly don’t go together.

That’s why I can’t stay here with Shrek.

My only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my truelove.

Don’t you see, Donkey?

That’s just how it has to be.

It’s the only way to break the spell.

You at least gotta tell Shrek the truth.

No!

You can’t breathe a word.

No one must ever know.

What’s the point of being able to talk if you gotta keep secrets?

Promise you won’t tell.

Promise!

All right, all right.

I won’t tell him.

But you should.

I just know before this is over, I’m gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy.

Look at my eye twitching.

I tell him, I tell him not.

I tell him, I tell him not.

I tell him.

Shrek!

Shrek, there’s something

I want–

Shrek.

Are you all right?

Perfect!

Never been better.

I– I don’t–

There’s something I have to tell you.

You don’t have to tell me anything, Princess.

I heard enough last night.

You heard what I said?

Every word.

I thought you’d understand.

Oh, I understand.

Like you said, Who could love a hideous, ugly beast?

But I thought that wouldn’t matter to you.

Yeah?

Well, it does.

Ah, right on time.

Princess, I’ve brought you a little something.

What’d I miss?

What’d I miss?

Who said that?

Couldn’t have been a donkey.

Princess Fiona.

As promised.

Now hand it over.

Very well, ogre.

The deed to your swamp, cleared out, as agreed.

Take it and go before I change my mind.

Forgive me, Princess, for startling you, but you startled me, for I have never seen such a radiant beauty before.

I am Lord Farquaad.

Lord Farquaad?

Oh, no, no.

Forgive me, my Lord, for I was just saying a short farewell.

That is so sweet.

You don’t have to waste good manners on the ogre.

It’s not like it has feelings.

No, you’re right.

It doesn’t.

Princess Fiona, beautiful, fair, flawless Fiona.

I ask your hand in marriage.

Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom?

Lord Farquaad, I accept.

Nothing would make–

Excellent!

I’ll start the plans, for tomorrow we wed!

No!

I mean, uh, why wait?

Let’s get married today before the sun sets.

Oh, anxious, are we?

You’re right.

The sooner, the better.

There’s so much to do!

There’s the caterer, the cake, the band, the guest list.

Captain, round up some guests!

Fare-thee-well, ogre.

Shrek, what are you doing?

You’re letting her get away.

Yeah?

So what?

Shrek, there’s something about her you don’t know.

Look, I talked to her last night.

She’s–

I know you talked to her last night.

You’re great pals, aren’t ya?

Now, if you two are such good friends, why don’t you follow her home?

Shrek, I–

I wanna go with you.

I told you, didn’t I?

You’re not coming home with me.

I live alone!

My swamp!

Me!

Nobody else!

Understand?

Nobody!

Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, talking donkeys!

But I thought–

Yeah.

You know what?

You thought wrong!

Shrek.

I heard there was a secret chord

That David played and it pleased the Lord

But you don’t really care for music, do ya

It goes like this the fourth, the fifth

The minor fall the major lift

The baffled king composing hallelujah

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Baby, I’ve been here before I know this room

I’ve walked this floor

I used to live alone before I knew you

I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch

But love is not a victory march

It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

And all I ever learned from love

I show to shoot at someone

Who outdrew you

And it’s not a cry you can hear at night

It’s not somebody who’s seen the light

It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Donkey?

What are you doing?

I would think, of all people, you would recognise a wall when you see one.

Well, yeah.

But the wall’s supposed to go around my swamp, not through it.

It is around your half.

See, that’s your half, and this is my half.

Oh!

Your half.

Hmm.

Yes, my half.

I helped rescue the princess.

I did half the work, I get half the booty.

Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks like your head.

Back off!

No, you back off.

This is my swamp!

Our swamp.

Let go, Donkey!

You let go.

Stubborn jackass!

Smelly ogre.

Fine!

Hey, come back here.

I’m not through with you yet.

Well, I’m through with you.

Uh-uh.

You know, with you it’s always, Me, me, me!

Well, guess what!

Now it’s my turn!

So you just shut up and pay attention!

You are mean to me.

You insult me and you don’t appreciate anything that I do!

You’re always pushing me around or pushing me away.

Oh, yeah?

Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back?

Because that’s what friends do!

They forgive each other!

Oh, yeah.

You’re right, Donkey.

I forgive you for stabbing me in the back!

Ohh!

You’re so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you’re afraid of your own feelings.

Go away!

There you are, doing it again just like you did to Fiona.

All she ever do was like you, maybe even love you.

Love me?

She said I was ugly, a hideous creature.

I heard the two of you talking.

She wasn’t talking about you.

She was talking about, uh, somebody else.

She wasn’t talking about me?

Well, then who was she talking about?

Uh-uh, no way.

I am not saying anything.

You don’t wanna listen to me.

Right?

Right?

Donkey!

No!

Okay, look.

I’m sorry, all right?

Hmph.

I’m sorry.

I guess I am just a big, stupid, ugly ogre.

Can you forgive me?

Hey, that’s what friends are for, right?

Right.

Friends?

Friends.

So, um, what did Fiona say about me?

What are you asking me for?

Why don’t you just go ask her?

The wedding!

We’ll never make it in time.

Ha-ha-ha!

Never fear, for where there’s a will, there’s a way, and I have a way.

Donkey?

I guess it’s just my animal magnetism.

Aw, come here, you.

All right, all right.

Don’t get all slobbery.

No one likes a kiss ass.

All right, hop on and hold on tight.

I haven’t had a chance to install the seat belts yet.

Whoo!

People of DuLoc, we gather here today to bear witness to the union.

Um– of our new king–

Excuse me.

Could we just skip ahead to the I do’s?

Go on.

Go ahead, have some fun.

If we need you, I’ll whistle.

How about that?

Shrek, wait, wait!

Wait a minute!

You wanna do this right, don’t you?

What are you talking about?

There’s a line you gotta wait for.

The preacher’s gonna say, Speak now or forever hold your peace.

That’s when you say, I object!

I don’t have time for this!

Wait.

What are you doing?

Listen to me!

Look, you love this woman, don’t you?

Yes.

You wanna hold her?

Yes.

Please her?

Yes!

Then you got to, got to try a little tenderness

The chicks love that romantic crap!

All right!

Cut it out.

When does this guy say the line?

We gotta check it out.

And so, by the power vested in me,

What do you see?

The whole town’s in there.

I now pronounce you husband and wife,

They’re at the altar.

king and queen.

Mother Fletcher!

He already said it.

Oh, for the love of Pete!

I object!

Shrek?

Oh, now what does he want?

Hi, everyone.

Having a good time, are ya?

I love DuLoc, first of all.

Very clean.

What are you doing here?

Really, it’s rude enough being alive when no one wants you,but showing up uninvited to a wedding–

Fiona!

I need to talk to you.

Oh, now you wanna talk?

It’s a little late for that, so if you’ll excuse me–

But you can’t marry him.

And why not?

Because– Because he’s just marrying you so he can be king.

Outrageous!

Fiona, don’t listen to him.

He’s not your true love.

And what do you know about true love?

Well, I– Uh–

I mean–

Oh, this is precious.

The ogre has fallen in love with the princess!

Oh, good Lord.

An ogre and a princess!

Shrek, is this true?

Who cares?

It’s preposterous!

Fiona, my love, we’re but a kiss away from our happily ever after.

Now kiss me!

Mmmm!

By night one way, by day another.

I wanted to show you before.