2بخش

Tim?

Look at him!

He wears a suit!

I know.

Isn’t it cute?

He’s like a little man.

He carries a briefcase.

Does no else think that’s.

I don’t know, a little freaky?

Well, you carried Lam-Lam around

until you were like.

This is not about Lam-Lam.

All babies are different, Tim.

And each one is special.

He’s taking over the whole house!

Are you taking over the house?

Yes, you are.

Yes, you are.

Trust me, one day you’re gonna get to know this little guy.

and you are gonna love him with all of your heart.

Just like we do.

All of your heart?

Never.

Hello!

It’s time for my three stories, five hugs, and special song!

How about one story.

three hugs, and my special song?

Just my special song?

Mom?

Dad?

Hey.

What happened to bedtime?

We’ll have it on Monday, Mr. Francis.

Don’t cry!

Don’t cry.

Hello?

Hello?

No, ma’am, not yet.

No, I’m not making excuses.

Yes, ma’am,

I know I’ve been here a long time.

Believe me, it feels like my whole life.

I’m making great progress with the parents already.

The usual procedure,

sleep deprivation, hunger strikes.

They’re very disoriented.

I’ve got them eating out of the palm of my hand.

They do everything for me.

It’s hilarious.

But I think the kid might be on to me.

No, I can handle him.

I know how important this mission is to the company.

Mission?

Well, trust me, ma’am.

You got the right baby for this job.

Hands up, devil baby!

Fart!

Poop!

Doodie!

I’ve gotta deal with the k-i-d.

You can talk!

Uh, goo-goo ga-ga.

No, you can really talk.

I heard you!

Fine.

I can talk.

Now, let’s see if you can listen.

Get me a double espresso.

and see if there’s someplace around here with decent sushi.

I’d kill for a spicy tuna roll right about now.

Get yourself a little something.

Who are you?

Let’s just say I’m the boss.

The boss?

You’re a baby!

You wear a diaper.

You know who else wears diapers?

Astronauts and NASCAR drivers, that’s who.

It’s called efficiency, Templeton.

The average toddler spends, what?

45 hours a year on the potty?

I’m the boss.

I don’t have that kind of spare time.

Well, you’re not the boss of me.

I am the boss of you.

No, you’re not.

Am, too.

Are not.

Am, too!

Are not!

Am, too.

Are not!

Am, too.

Are not!

Am, too.

Am, too.

I was here first.

Just wait until Mom and Dad find out about this.

Oh, yeah?

You think they’d pick you over me?

With your track record?

You don’t know anything about me.

So that’s how you wanna play it, huh?

Let’s see.

Templeton, Timothy.

Middle name.

I’m sorry.

Leslie!

Mostly C’s.

How do you know all that?

Can’t ride a bike without training wheels?

Even bears can ride a bike without training wheels, Leslie.

DOB says you’re seven.

Seven and a half.

Power nap!

You were saying?

I’m seven and a half.

Exactly!

You’re old.

It’s time to make way for the next generation.

It’s the way of the world.

You would never ask your parents for an old toy.

Lam-Lam?

Everyone wants the hot, new thing.

Destroy.

Destroy.

Lam-Lam!

I’ve got fresh batteries.

Boom!

Mom and Dad don’t even know you.

They love me!

Oh, yeah?

Do the math, kid.

There’s only so much love to go around.

It’s like these beads.

You used to have all your parents’ love.

All their time.

All their attention.

You had all the beads.

But then I came along.

Babies take up a lot of time.

They need a lot of attention.

They get all the love.

We could share.

You obviously didn’t go to business school.

Look, Templeton,

the numbers just don’t add up.

There’s not enough love for the two of us.

Not enough beads to go around.

And then, all of a sudden, there’s no place for Tim.

Tim doesn’t fit anymore.

Oh, no!

What about Tim?

So keep quiet.

Stay out of my way.

Or there’s gonna be cutbacks.

You can’t be fired from your own family.

Can you?

Wake up, little halflings!

It’s 7:00 a.m.

Wake up, little half.

What’s the use?

Arise for a nutritious breakfast!

It’s 7:00 a.m.

What’s wrong, Timothy?

Has that little dwarf made you blue?

Then I shall cast upon him a great curse!

He shall not pass!

It’s no use, Wizzie.

He’s got Mom and Dad completely fooled.

If they knew what I knew,

they’d never let him stay.

Perhaps your parents need to be enlightened.

With a great curse!

They shall not pass!

Yeah.

I need to enlighten them.

with proof!

That’s what I need, proof!

Expose his dark magic!

Testing, testing.

Testing, testing.

Maybe they can return him to the store and get their money back!

We could buy a bouncy house!

Godspeed, Tim!

It’s 8:45 a.m.

Ninja.

Ninja.

Ninja.

Ninja.

Babies everywhere!

They’re spreading.

Mom!

Dad!

What’s going on?

It’s an invasion!

It’s a play date!

That’s a keeper.

It’s a meeting, and you won’t be attending.

We’ll see about that.

Thank you all for coming here

on such short notice.

Now, before we begin.

Yes, sir!

Sure is!

Affirmative!

Jimbo, run some interference.

Hey!

We babies are having a crisis!

Oh, no!

That’s awful!

Horrible!

What is it?

It’s simpler if I just show you.

Teddy, if you please.

Let’s put on a show.

Here we go!

Jimbo, hit the lights.

You see, babies aren’t getting as much love as we used to.

Why?

Have we been bad?

No, Staci.

But I’ll tell you who is.

Behold our mortal enemy.

Puppies!

No!

That’s exactly the problem.

Puppies?

What’s the deal with puppies?

Throughout history.

people have loved babies more than anything in the world.

We’ve always been a must-have item.

number one on every wish list.

Puppies were merely accessories.

But all that changed

when the puppies began coming out.

with new designer models.

Each one more adorable than the last.

Remember the Labradoodle?

The Peekapoo?

The Chiweenie?

Try to say “Chiweenie” without smiling.

Not possible.

Don’t waste your time.

We all laughed at the Shar Pei.

And now it’s number one in China.

Oh, no.

That’s terrible!

Horrible!

Yes.

And it gets even worse.

Francis Francis, the CEO of Puppy Co, made this announcement.

Teddy, roll the clip.

And we are on schedule.

to release the most adorable puppy ever.

We’re gonna launch it at the pet convention in Las Vegas!

Watch out, world!

It’s gonna crush the competition!

Yay!

No, Jimbo.

No “yay”!

We are the competition!

This is war.

Puppies are winning,

and babies are losing.

Thank you, Teddy.

And if this new puppy is as cute as we fear.

it could put the baby business out of business, baby.

That’s awful!

Bad news, baby!

What are we going to do?

My job is to find out exactly what that new puppy is.

so that Baby Corp can stop it.

And you’re going to help me.

Genius!

Home run!

You still got it, boss!

Yay!

Yay.

Now, your parents all work for Puppy Co.

So have you learned anything from them?

Yes, sir!

Sure did!

Fantastic.

Triplets, go!

A.

B.

C.

D.

No, what have you learned about the new puppy?

Yay, puppy!

No, Jimbo!

Puppies are evil.

Staci, read back the notes.

I can’t read.

What’s it say?

This is my team?

A muscle-head, a bunch of yes men,

and a doodler?

Exactly!

Affirmative!

Good call.

Oh, yeah!

Nice one, BB!

Gotcha!

Put that cookie down.

Cookies are for closers.

Let’s have another show!

No, Teddy!

How about a hug?

No more shows!

Boss?

There’s plenty of love to go around.

Go to sleep!

Nighty-night.

Boss!

Boss!

What?

Parents!

It’s like they’re having their own little meeting.