Ways to Give Advice

Now there are lots of different ways to give advice.

We’ve talked about some ways to ask for advice.

There are many many more ways to give advice.

So let’s go over some of the common phrases we can use to do it and we’ll start with a really really basic stuff.

And I’m guessing that you probably already know most of these.

So you can you can it is is soft so we’ll talk about different levels of strength.

If you say you could or you can.

Sometimes we use could to recommend what people do.

It’s like we’re putting it up there.

But if the other person doesn’t follow it it’s OK it’s OK so you can try and maybe running three days a week if you want to lose weight.

You could try running four or five days a week if you want to lose weight.

OK that is a suggestion for what to do.

That’s advice but it’s very soft.

That means it’s not too pushy not too pushy.

Whereas if you say you should.

That is much more pushy much pushy here.

OK you should.

It’s almost as though if you don’t do that I will be personally disappointed.

This is how should is often used.

So these two basically are the same.

It’s just that the feeling is different that the level of pushing this is different.

The strength is different.

Now we can also recommend using questions and these are both pretty common.

Why don’t you Why don’t you just quit.

Why don’t you just quit.

It’s a question though.

So if you’re having a difficult time at your job.

My bad boss whatever.

Why don’t you just quit and get a new job.

That’s very common advice.

And maybe that’s the best advice.

I’m not recommending you do that if you don’t like your job.

I don’t know the whole situation OK.

Or we could say how about How about you just quit.

How about you just quit.

How about How about just breaking up with him or her or if you’re with a girlfriend or boyfriend who is not the right fit for you and you’re depressed or unhappy for whatever reason then your friend might give you that advice.

How about or why don’t you pretty much the same.

How about why don’t you just break up with him just break up with her.

You’re not the right match.

That’s OK.

Move on.

Move on move on.

You can use that for the job situation or the girlfriend boyfriend situation.

Maybe it’s time to move on.

That means to take the next step in your life either for work or for personal stuff.

It can be used in lots of different lots of different situations.

OK.

So these are all really common using questions to give advice or using these simple phrases you can you should.

I left out.

You ought to.

So you’ve probably seen you ought to in American English.

It’s just not that common anymore.

People don’t use it that often.

So you could use that ought to.

But I think it’s more common to say you can you could and you should.

Much more common.

Now we get into some ways to give advice which are a little bit more complicated than the ones we just talked about.

So let’s go through them one by one and I’ll explain how we can use each of them.

OK.

Now this is a very common style of expression in English anyway were and would always remember that were and would usually go together to create something that’s not real.

And we’ve talked about that before.

It’s a hypothetical hypothetical very small hypothetical is something that we imagine OK.

If I were you I would.

It’s a very useful way to give advice because we’re putting our selves in the shoes of the person we’re giving advice to to show them that we empathize with them.

So when we empathize when we empathize we show the other person that we understand their situation.

We can say put yourself in my shoes or I will put myself in your shoes or in her shoes in his shoes.

Try to understand their situation.

So this is a really useful one because it shows that if I were you I would just move on.

Maybe it’s time to quit and find a new job.

If I were you I would just move on.

This is probably my favorite way and one of the most common ways to give advice.

OK.

We can also use wood in this way.

I would wood just to make it softer.

You couldn’t just say I suggest that you could say.

I would suggest that you just find a new job.

Take your career to the next level.

Move on.

I would suggest that you move on and we use wood to make it a little soft it just doesn’t really have a very very clear meaning or use in the sentence but it does make it a little bit more indirect and it kind of takes some of the focus off what we’re saying.

We often use just in that way.

Oh just three miles.

How far did you run.

Just five miles to try to take some focus off of how many miles that is to try to make it seem like it’s not a big deal.

OK.

This is also very common.

Another way we can show empathy or empathize with the person who’s asking us for advice is to use whenever I.

And then share a story about something that you experienced in the past which is very similar or exactly the same.

So let’s say someone is asking for advice because they feel homesick.

You know you’re in college and your roommate is always talking about oh I miss my mom I miss my dad it’s terrible I’m so homesick.

They miss their home.

That’s what homesick means.

Whenever I feel homesick I just go out with some friends have a cup of coffee.

Have a great conversation and it helps to distract me from how I feel.

Try that whenever I feel homesick.

I always.

So then we say what we do.

Whenever I feel homesick I usually give my parents a call.

Call them on the phone.

Talk to them for a while.

Whenever I feel homesick I may just take a quick trip home for the weekend and then come back.

Always feeling much much better.

So we’re trying to use our own experience to help other people which is a very obviously good way to share advice because you can show them that it works hey it worked for me.

It’s probably going to work for you too.

It works.

It works.

Something works that means it’s successful.

It’s effective.

It’s effective.

It’s effective.

And because you’re sharing that real example you’re showing that it’s effective.

You’re not just throwing out some idea using your own life experience.

OK now sometimes we want to give two pieces of advice or two bits of advice at the same time and that’s a really good thing because sometimes there’s obvious advice there’s obvious advice and we’ll talk more about that word in a second if something is obvious.

You probably already know that right.

Probably already know you can call your parents probably.

OK.

That’s pretty obvious.

So you can give two different bits in a row and that might help you move the conversation forward a little more quickly first.

You can give your parents a call and if that doesn’t work that means if giving your parents a call is not successful not successful the next step would be for you to for example face time them or do a video call or hang out with friends more or go home for a visit.

OK.

First you can call your parents and if that doesn’t work drive home or take the bus home visit them for a weekend and then come back you will feel better to bits.

That’s very good.

The next one is also to get rid of the obvious the obvious bit of advice.

The obvious piece of advice so that you can go to the real stuff because it’s so obvious that you should call your parents if you haven’t tried that yet.

Maybe you’re not the smartest tool in the shed.

So have you ever.

Wait I can take this out.

All right.

Have you ever tried.

We can use this in some situations but for the home sickness one it doesn’t quite work.

I feel so homesick.

What should I do.

I really need some advice.

Could you give me some advice.

Have you tried calling your parents.

Have you tried calling your parents.

Yeah I tried that.

OK well now you can and then you can give more advice.

Oh if you already tried that you already did that go home for the weekend visit.

Or maybe get on Facebook and check some old photos or chat with them online.

Whatever advice you want to give.

Now when can we use.

I had ever here before.

When can we use ever.

Have you ever tried that.

This would be for a much larger thing that we’re giving advice about.

So I’ve maybe tried to quit smoking many many times and failed.

I’m trying again.

Well have you ever.

Have you ever tried using one of those patches little patch people put on their arms to quit smoking.

Have you ever tried using one of those patches to ever kind of focuses on something that is a larger scale in your whole life.

Have you tried this.

That’s when we usually use ever.

Have you ever done that.

Have you ever been to Canada.

Have you ever tried using those patches so it would be for that kind of advice which is something that maybe happens over a lifetime or over several years.

The homesick example is kind of a right now type of advice.

OK so these are all really common ways these are a little bit more complicated but they’re also a little bit more specific and I think they’re very very effective ways to give advice.

And if you’re using the first two whenever I and I would suggest and if I were you able to show the other person that you actually care about them.