Expressions for Control

So the first situation we’re going to look at is addiction.

Addiction.

Somebody is doing something too much.

Well if you have a good friend who’s doing something too much, you might want to help them.

You may need to mention to your friend that there hey there is a problem.

Maybe this is not healthy for you.

let’s focus on video games.

Not to say that video games are bad.

I like video games.

But sometimes people can get addicted. addicted to video games and if they get addicted to video games, Well what happens.

Maybe other things in that person’s life may be out of balance right?

So you think your friend is spending too much time playing video games.

How can you bring up or mentioned the topic and make it softer.

This means we don’t want to be too direct because if we’re too direct and we say something like Hey friend you have a problem, what do people do when you say that to them.

Well they become defensive.

They might say oh no I don’t.

I don’t what are you talking about and not want to talk to you.

if you criticize people too directly, Usually they become defensive and they don’t want to listen to what you’re saying.

So how can we say that we can bring up the topic of hey you have this problem without being too straight.

How can we do that.

Well there’s one very common expression that we can use to express the idea of addiction and we can use it for many other situations too.

And that is, that is out of hand.

now out of hand It’s sort of like saying out of control not in control And we’ll talk about other situations in which we can use it.

But let’s just focus on this situation first, OK?

let’s let’s say it like this.

Hey Tom can I can I talk to you for a second.

Yeah yeah.

What’s up.

So we might say listen listen.

It’s a way to begin a serious topic I think.

I think your gaming habit is getting a bit, Remember we use a bit when we want to make things softer.

Right?

So it’s always useful a bit out of hand.

And this is the expression that we’re learning how to use.

Well that’s a big difference between saying you have a problem and I think you’re gaming habit is getting a bit out of hand.

This is so soft that Tom is likely to be more receptive and listen to what you’re saying, Do you think so?

Yeah I know but I can’t stop.

Well then we can talk about solutions.

So a bit out of hand.

I do want to get into using out of hand in more situations how else it can be used but very quickly we could also say I think your gaming habit is getting a bit out of hand and we could add, And you really need to draw the line somewhere.

OK, So this one to draw the line somewhere is to create a limit.

any anytime you want to talk about giving yourself a limit or giving others a limit, We might say draw the line.

I’m going to draw the line with you, You can only watch TV for an hour a day maybe a mother will say that to her son.

I’m really going to have to draw the line.

Well you could say it for yourself and you really need to draw the line somewhere.

That means you need to create a limit for yourself about how much you’re going to play, Right?

An hour a day two hours a day and then stop.

Draw the line somewhere.

All right.

Let’s go back to out of hand and other places where we can use it to express a situation that is no longer in control.

Have you ever seen on the news crowd of people we could say even a mob of people smashing windows in the streets and flipping over cars.

Sometimes it’s after a sports match or some other reason, Doesn’t matter.

Well in this case maybe the police no longer have control over the situation.

Maybe they did. They had control they had control and then it reached a point where the police no longer have control.

So we can say the mob, the mob, the mob started to get out of hand, out of hand. ok?

So you can use it for your self your habits what you do if you do something too much. When you lose control of that thing.

But it can also be used to describe something out there in the world with people.

And for example maybe the police have control or should have control but now they don’t.

And so it’s out of hand, it’s out of hand, OK?

So it’s a very very useful and it can be used in all kinds of situations.

Let’s go on and look at another situation and another very useful expression we can use in that situation.