Giving Feedback

So far in this lesson we’ve talked about the reasons we have meetings and we’ve proposed a very simple solution to an issue with company culture.

This is the situation.

There are five or six people at this meeting.

The person in charge of the meeting is called the moderator.

Now this could be the boss of these people but not necessarily.

Perhaps not.

They say all right.

So I’ve asked each of you to prepare a proposal for this issue that we’re talking about today about morale among the staff.

Larry I’d like you to start.

Could you give your proposal about the company dinner.

So then Larry stands up and he gives his proposal about the monthly dinner the idea that I just mentioned.

Now the other people might have some questions and some feedback once he’s given his proposal.

Sometimes it will be after Larry finishes with the proposal and sometimes it will be in the middle.

They might want to stop him now.

That’s usually not the best idea.

But there are times when you need to cut in and I’m going to share some basically phrases that you can use when you want to then give feedback on an idea when you want to cut in sometimes or when you want to just offer an opinion.

Whether you agree or disagree.

So Larry has given his proposal on the monthly dinner and how he thinks it could solve the issue.

Now there might be a simple questions of course you can.

Once it’s over just ask what what costs what costs would be associated with holding the dinner and and who or which department would maybe be responsible which can buy RSP responsible for the budget.

OK so this is just a follow up question.

A follow up question.

Larry didn’t give a lot of detail about the cost involved.

So I have a question about that.

So this is a good way to often explore something.

And if you disagree with somebody make them realize that their suggestion is maybe not great.

I’m not saying Larry suggestion is bad but for example I think it’s way too expensive.

And instead of saying I disagree I think it’s too expensive.

Instead I say what costs would be involved.

And then Larry has to answer the question and maybe when he answers the question maybe he realizes that it’s too expensive.

So one way of disagreeing is making the person who suggested the idea realize that there’s something about their idea that’s not realistic.

That’s one way to do it.

Now maybe you just use this question what costs would be associated or involved and also say involved with holding the dinner.

Maybe we just want to know maybe we’re not actually trying to criticize maybe we’re not trying to say I disagree but that’s OK too.

This is very simple and asking these sorts of questions is very important.

So you can just once the person is finished talking ask these simple follow on or follow up questions but what if we want to stop Larry in the middle of his proposal in the middle of his presentation about this this idea.

Well then we can use a couple of expressions we could use if I may if I may.

We can use if if I can cut in for a second or we could say moment and if we really wanted to we could say hold on a moment.

Hold on a moment and then we say our opinion now that one could be considered a little bit rude to say hold on a moment because it’s like saying wait stop talking I need to say something and it’s urgent.

Generally you want to give feedback in a meeting after but if it’s really really important to say it now then you can use these phrases.

So let’s look at examples for each of these if I may I would like to say that the cost isn’t justified.

I don’t think I don’t think it’s worth it.

OK.

Now then we can start to have a conversation about that point or maybe Larry can continue with his presentation and then we can talk about that after.

But I use if I may if I may.

I don’t think that the cost is really justifiable.

It’s pretty expensive to hold a monthly dinner is it really going to be worth it.

I think the cost might outweigh outweigh the advantages of holding a monthly dinner like that.

So that’s a way to get in there to cut in and stop it.

The other one then is if I can cut in if I can cut in I think there might be other ways to boost morale without breaking the bank.

Such as.

And then we could say the idea such as some for example team building exercises during working hours.

That would be a lot cheaper.

All we have to do is hire a trainer or someone who does team building exercises for example.

OK.

If I can cut in or we could say if I can just cut in again.

It’s an interruption.

Another way to suggest this.

Hold on for a moment.

I mentioned before.

Hold on for a moment.

I don’t quite see how a meal is the best way to address address here means deal with deal with address this.

Each person would be at a small table.

That means for example if the reason for this proposal is to make everybody talk with other people and create bonds or connections between them.

Well if you’re sitting with four or five other people is there really a huge benefit right.

Maybe if there’s a way to get everybody to really do something together maybe that would be a lot better.

OK.

So this person again disagrees.

I don’t quite see how a meal.

OK now this is a very gentle way.

So hold on for a moment is not super polite.

This could be considered a bit rude if it’s an interruption.

On for a moment.

Hold on for a moment.

But then this I don’t quite see how what you said is correct.

I don’t quite see how what you’re saying makes sense is a very soft and gentle way to communicate the idea that you completely disagree.

Again adding quite quite makes it a lot softer if you say I completely disagree then that’s a lot more direct.

OK.

So anytime you want to softly or gently disagree.

Use this.

I don’t quite see how that would work or I don’t quite agree.

One way to tell somebody you disagree is to create a hypothetical possibility that if it’s put into place there would be some negative result.

So you can say it like that.

Let’s say his Larry’s presentation is over it has ended right.

He’s done with his proposal now and I don’t agree with it.

OK.

So I could say if we did that if we did that it would completely destroy our events budget one meaning of budget is an amount of money that you have for a specific purpose.

It’s there for events things that happen within the company.

So if we did this every month.

Well then we’re not going to have any money for anything else.

So if we did that hypothetical if we did that it would.

Can we use wood when we want to create a hypothetical non real situation hypothetical.

And it’s a really powerful way to disagree because we’re stating a fact.

What we think is a fact that would happen if this specific plan is put into action.

So it’s actually very powerful it can be very powerful if you use it well create that hypothetical and make everyone else realize Oh yeah wow we would have no money for anything else.

That sounds terrible.

And then if we really wanted to add it we could add it to any of these disagreements we could just say I don’t think it makes sense.

I don’t I don’t think it makes sense.

Whenever somebody gives you an idea about what they think should be done generally we can use.

I don’t think it makes sense or it doesn’t make sense.

It’s a great way to disagree but then usually you have to explain why it doesn’t make sense.

Now maybe you’re thinking wait a second everything you’ve said so far is to disagree.

Well that’s because it’s very easy to agree if you agree then you can just say yeah I agree.

Or you could say great idea.

Brilliant proposal.

I like it.

But then you could maybe mention one specific issue.

I like it but do we have enough money for this just to ask the question.

Let’s do it let’s do it.

Great idea let’s do it.

I think it’s perfect.

I think it’s a great plan.

So it’s very easy to agree with a proposal and then ask a follow up question about some of the details.

It’s a little bit more complicated to disagree.

So I hope these phrases that we’ve learned about how to respond and give feedback based on our proposal are clear because they’re all very very common.

And most of them can be used in many many other situations as well outside of just meetings.