Moderating

So far in this lesson we’ve talked about why we hold meetings.

We’ve talked about basically giving a proposal and how it’s different from just throwing in an idea and then how to respond to proposals or ideas from other people in a meeting.

Now what if we’re actually the moderator of the meeting.

This means the person who’s in charge of the meeting doesn’t necessarily mean the boss but someone who’s responsible for keeping the meeting going.

Well the primary responsibility the main job of this person is to make sure that things don’t get out of control out of hand or off track.

We often use the phrase off track to say that things are going in the wrong direction.

We’re supposed to be focused on topic A but now we’re talking about this.

And well it’s a problem.

OK so the moderator is responsible for making sure that doesn’t happen.

Also making sure people are not fighting or disagreeing.

Also making sure that maybe the meeting finishes on time making sure maybe the ideas are on the whiteboard.

If there is a whiteboard or on the blackboard if there’s a blackboard.

But I haven’t ever seen a meeting on a blackboard before.

But anyway they’re responsible for orchestrating.

We could say the whole thing.

And I want to talk about a few phrases we can use a few things we can say to keep things focused.

So what I want to do is just share with you a few things that the moderator might say to make sure that the meeting doesn’t get off track doesn’t stray from the purpose.

Here’s an example Larry has given his proposal about the monthly dinner and let’s say Nathan disagrees.

He thinks it costs too much money.

Then Lisa here’s Nathan’s idea that it cost too much money and then she starts talking about the budget.

And she says yeah actually I’m thinking maybe we should increase the budget for events because if we had a bigger budget than we could afford.

Blah blah blah.

Blah blah blah.

OK so now things are getting off track right.

This is not good.

We’re not talking about proposals for resolving the issues that we have with morale.

That’s what we’re trying to talk about here.

So the moderator Linda whoever says good point.

But let’s stick to the plan for today’s meeting.

So it’s a good way to make her feel.

Hey your ideas not bad.

What you’re saying is not crazy.

That’s fine.

Let’s stick to the plan for today’s meeting.

And you’re bringing her back.

It’s a way to say hey hey come back.

Remember we’re talking about something else but it’s not insulting you’re not hurting her feelings by saying it that way.

We were about to go off on a tangent about the budget.

Maybe we were about to go off on a tangent off track.

But thank goodness our moderator is able to deal with that.

Good point.

But let’s stick to the plan for today’s meeting.

We need to stay focused or we won’t get out of here by 6:00.

OK.

Now the moderator is from mining everybody.

The reason to stay focused and everybody is suddenly realizing Oh right.

If we don’t stay focused then we’ll have to be here until we resolve this issue and we might have to work overtime and maybe I want to go home on time today.

So the moderator is also providing everybody at the meeting with a little bit of a motivation sort of like a treat we could call it maybe a carrot as something to push them to drive them to stay focused and stay on track.

It’s actually a really good way to manage the situation.

Another way to express this I think we’re getting a little off track now this is like saying a bit.

Remember we use a bit to soften things.

I think we’re getting a little off track.

Let’s not focus on the budget.

We’re supposed to be talking about ways to promote the company culture.

Let’s focus.

So this is pretty much the same right.

Same basic function the same basic idea almost the same phrasing says a slightly different way of saying this a little makes it gentler.

OK.

But we’re still stating the reality very clearly.

We’re supposed to be talking about ways to promote the company culture.

Let’s focus now.

This is balanced between tough and gentle.

The words are gentle.

The meaning is tough.

If you say to everybody hey stop talking about the budget what’s wrong with you people.

You call them.

I don’t know stupid or you say things very directly sometimes.

Some people like to communicate that way whatever but sometimes that can make you come across as maybe too strict.

And it can make other people shut down.

They don’t want to share their opinions anymore because they don’t want to get yelled at.

So they’ll just be quiet by saying things in a soft way but with a tough and direct meaning we’re able to make sure that everybody is on track and people are contributing because they feel like they’re also respected.

So this is another good one but it is pretty much the same as the previous one.

Finally if we are the moderator of the meeting and we’re trying to get things back on track we might say I think it’s a good point.

So Linda says something about the budget.

We should increase the budget.

We need more money for events.

I think it’s a good point.

So we’ve recognized her and her idea.

We haven’t shut her down stop talking about that.

Maybe we’ll shut her down.

That’s a good point.

Makes her feel maybe good about herself right.

So that’s great.

But again it’s off topic.

So after we’ve given someone a compliment.

We then need to say something a little more directly to help people focus.

This is often how we give feedback as well.

When you want to give someone feedback one method is called the sandwich method that has other names too I like the sandwich method because it’s very visual.

Say something positive and encouraging.

Then you say the meat of the idea really what you’re trying to communicate and then maybe another bun of the burger or a sandwich which is another gentle and soft thing but really it’s the meat that you want to communicate.

So I think it’s a good point but it doesn’t quite fit with our plan for today.

Why don’t we deal with that in the next meeting.

So that’s the bottom of the sandwich.

The bottom of the sandwich is hey your idea is a wonderful thing to talk about.

But if we talk about it in the next meeting then we’re still able to stay on track for today.

Then we can deal with today’s issue and the budget issue.

Maybe tomorrow it’s a win win.

So the first part the top of the sandwich is this the real meat of it is this doesn’t quite fit with the plan for today.

And then the bottom of the sandwich is this and you can do it.

If you’re moderating a meeting to make people focus on something right.

Say something positive and encouraging then the meat.

The real thing you want to communicate then the bottom bun of the burger.

Why don’t we deal with that in the next meeting.

That’s how good your idea is.

It’s worth talking about later.

OK.

And I really like to use this when I give people feedback.

I like to give direct and honest feedback sometimes very critical.

But if I say it’s terrible directly they feel hurt.

Maybe they don’t want to ask me next time but if I use the sandwich method if I use this structure then I can communicate my idea.

But at the same time make the other person feel like I respect them enough.

And of course you’ve got to try to be honest it may be a good idea.

OK.

So those are some common ways that when you’re moderating a meeting you can make sure that things don’t go off track.

You can keep things focused and I hope even though we didn’t cover every possible thing that can happen in a meeting that could be done in a whole course of meetings probably.

I hope that you feel more comfortable with how you can communicate in these specific areas particularly proposals giving feedback on proposals and moderating a meeting and keeping things on track.

OK.

So to practice this what I’d like you to do is come up with another idea for helping boost the morale of this company.

OK imagine you’re doing it in a meeting.

Do it until you can say your proposal or speak your proposal naturally record yourself.

OK if you do it three or four times go back and listen to it and try to make corrections and revisions each time then give some critical feedback on the idea.

EXPRESS What’s wrong with the idea as though you were another person in the meeting.

Practice this a few times until you feel comfortable doing both the presentation and the feedback.

Good luck and I will see you in the next lesson.