Refusing and Accepting

When people ask you to do things they want to hang out with you by the way hang out just means to do something together.

Often in a very casual way or go over to someone’s house and just be there maybe play video games together or whatever talk if people ask you to do things and you can’t or you don’t want to.

And you need to say no.

You have to know how to do that politely because if you just say no it’s rude it’s rude.

You can’t just say no.

You have to say it in a certain way so we’re gonna go over a couple of expressions.

We can use to say no baseline OK.

If I offer you a piece of candy and you want to say no to that fine.

Hey you want a piece of candy care for a piece of candy.

No no thanks.

No thanks or no they’re fine.

You can also say I’m good I’m good.

Means no.

Do you need anything.

I’m going out to the supermarket.

I’m good I’m good very polite but when it comes to refusing an invitation that’s kind of a bigger thing right.

So we can’t just say no thanks and we can’t just say no.

We should say a little bit more.

And it depends on the situation.

So let’s go through these phrases.

I’d love to but.

So if you’re being honest this is a good one.

Maybe you really want to and maybe you really can’t.

You’re so busy this week is just crazy hectic it’s hectic hectic means really busy.

I’d love to but this week is just totally hectic my whole week is booked.

I don’t think I can go.

I’d love to but I can’t.

All right.

I just can’t I’m too busy.

Then you can say next time I wish I could.

I wish I could but I really wish I could but I have to be in the office until 10:00 p.m. tonight.

So I really can’t.

I wish I could but I can’t.

I wish I could.

I wish I could have dinner tonight but I’m actually leaving to drive to my hometown and it’s a seven hour drive so I have to leave earlier.

I wish I could.

I wish I could but I need to.

I need to leave at 3 p.m. Now of course in many situations people will tell a little tiny little what we would call white lie and this is where we really don’t have something to do or maybe we’re just going to go home and hang out.

We just don’t want to go.

Right.

So we could say I’d love to but I really can’t then.

And this happens and if you want to do this you can.

You could say I’ve got other plans.

I I’d love to but I can’t.

I’ve got plans or I’ve got other plans I’ve got other things going on now.

Those plans could be sitting at home and watching a movie sitting at home just watching Netflix or whatever.

So you do have plans but they’re not plans with other people.

That’s OK.

Right.

Saying I’ve got plans.

It’s better than saying no no.

If you just don’t feel like it you can say that directly.

But we often make it softer by saying not really I’m not really up to it I’m not really up to it or I’m not really in the mood if we say I’m not in the mood.

It sounds a little bit moody.

It sounds a little bit kind of grumpy grumpy means a bit angry a bit grumpy so we say I’m not really in the mood.

It softens it saying not really is a way to make it sound a little less direct.

Or we could say I don’t really feel like it.

I don’t really don’t really feel really.

I don’t really feel like it.

I don’t really feel like it unfortunately.

Maybe it’s a time thing maybe it’s just because you really don’t have time.

Hey I’m gonna go grab some dinner at about 7 o’clock.

Do you want to go along.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Sounds great.

Sounds great.

I’d love to.

What time.

Seven to seven doesn’t really work for me.

I’m going to be in the office until 8:00.

Could we push it back to 8:00.

Or could we push it to 8:00.

Or how about 8:00.

So when you want to check the time we often use.

Work for.

Yeah.

We use work for to ask whether a time is OK for another person.

Does seven work for you.

Does does seven work for you.

Sounds weird right.

We say it to seven worked for you now seven doesn’t really work for me.

How about 8:00.

Or could we push it to 8:00.

Could we move it to 9:00.

Or could we move it to tomorrow.

Also very very common.

So those are the common ways that we refuse if somebody asks us to do something.

It’s actually harder to refuse than to agree.

Because if you want to agree again you just say yeah.

Great.

Sounds good.

Absolutely fantastic.

Yeah.

OK right.

That’s easy.

Now I did mention before ways to agree.

So we know those but I wanted to just review them and have them clearly written down so that they’re easier to remember and also talk about how we can show a little bit less excitement if we need to.

So as I mentioned before someone invites you to do something.

Want to go grab a cup of coffee.

Sounds great.

Me and some friends are going out later tonight.

Would you care to come along.

Sure.

What time to get the time right.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

I’m thinking about going to get a sandwich for lunch.

You want to go with me.

Absolutely.

I’d love to.

I’ll be there.

I’ll be there is usually for more of a party.

Hey I’m having a party this weekend on Friday and I’m wondering if you’d like to go.

I’m wondering if is by the way also very common.

I’m wondering if you’d you would you’d you’d like to to come you’d like to join us.

I’m wondering if is a very common way as well to sound like it’s it’s great if you do but no pressure.

Right.

Wondering if you’d like to I’ll be there.

I’ll be there.

I’ll be there.

You can use to express that you’re excited about going but only for party situations.

If if I want to eat dinner with you and it’s just you and me and you say I’ll be there.

Maybe that’s a little bit weird because it’s just you and I.

Right.

So usually I’ll be there as for more of a social thing where there are more people a group of people together three or four people or 20 or 30 people.

I’ll be there.

All right.

Is often a little bit less excited but it depends on how you say it.

If you say all right.

All right.

So I’m very excited if you say all right if you’re gonna do this you roll your eyes roll your eyes.

All right.

That means maybe you don’t really want to go but you’re agreeing anyway.

OK why not.

OK why not.

OK.

Why not.

This doesn’t mean you’re excited it just means you’re agreeing OK.

Is like that.

Yes it’s positive but it’s not excited.

And then why not means you can’t think of another reason or another thing you have to do.

You can’t think of a reason to say no.

So this does not sound excited.

Sure.

I’ve got nothing else going on.

It’s a little weird but people do say it quite often.

It means I can’t think of anything else I should do so yeah I guess I will.

And people will say I.

I guess so I guess so really expresses that you’re not excited.

You wouldn’t say I guess so.

People say I guess so I will but I’m not super excited about it.

These are all extremely common ways to say yes at different levels of excitement or enthusiasm.