Good news, the problems we think we have, aren't real

I’ve got some good news for all of you.

But first let’s step back for a moment.

We all know that sometimes there’s perception sometimes there’s reality.

They might be exactly aligned but they may be skewed.

So for example my perception is that I will never become a star professional basketball player for the NBA the National Basketball Association my perception of that.

It’s because I’m too slow.

I’m too old.

I don’t shoot well enough.

And I’m that shy of six feet tall I’m not tall enough.

That is my perception of why I’m never going to be a star in the NBA.

Well it turns out that my perception of my flaws are exactly aligned with the reality.

Those are real flaws.

Those will keep me from ever becoming an NBA star.

Now enough of you by this course I become a billionaire maybe I can buy a team.

But that’s different.

I’ll never star as a basketball player because I don’t have the talent the physical talents at all to do what it takes so many times in life.

Our perception of our weaknesses are actually correct.

I’m here to tell you when it comes to being a great communicator it’s not correct.

I have worked with tens of thousands of people all over the globe in person.

Real life for more than 30 years.

So I hear time and time again people telling me Oh T.J.

I’m not a good communicator.

I can’t give good speeches or presentations for the following reasons.

I say too many times I say say too many of Oz ers I’m not good looking enough.

My accent is too Southern or too New York or it’s too Indian or it’s too different from what people are used to.

People have this sense of all these problems that are holding them back.

People have told me I know I’ll never be a good communicator because I have Bell’s Palsy and my face droops meanwhile no one else in the room even noticed it.

So in my experience as individuals we come up with all sorts of reasons as to why we’ll never be a great communicator.

Oh I don’t like my voice.

My voice is no good.

Here’s what I found working with training and studying with the top communicators public speakers presenters communicators TV hosts in the world not bad manners the things that make us great communicators.

It’s not just we didn’t say arm some of the most successful highly paid TV stars in the world site and constantly.

It’s not necessarily about your looks.

Some of the most successful TV talk show host and reality star host have less hair than I do and are 30 years older than I am.

So it’s not about being young and good looking so I’m here to tell you.

Relax.

The things you think are making you a bad communicator really aren’t.

Those are not your problem.

I’m not suggesting you don’t have some challenges to overcome but it’s a different set of problems because trying to change your accent is really really hard and can take hundreds of hours sometimes thousands of hours.

Do you have an extra thousand hours changing the tone of your voice is extraordinarily difficult.

I’m here to tell you you don’t have to do that.

I’ve seen masterful communicators who have high voices low voices screechy voices accents that are not considered desirable or attractive.

And these people are still great communicators so I want you before we really dive in deeply in this course.

It just kind of set aside these preconceived notions you have about what’s holding you back.

People think Oh I moved my hands too much.

I’m here to tell you I’ve worked with again more than 10000 people around the world face to face for 30 years.

I’ve never yet had an audience say about someone I’m training.

Oh their hands are moving too much.

Never ones happen.

I do hear people say oh gosh that person seems frozen and stiff and scared and nervous that I hear all the time.

So we’re going to work on a number of issues to make you a better and better communicator.

Right now I just want you to relax.

If you’ve ever had one interesting conversation with one friend one family member one colleague about one subject and you feel good about it and the person you are speaking with felt good about it.

Guess what you already have all the skills you need to be a great communicator.

We’ll try to build those out.

Build your comfort level so you can do them in different situations.

But you don’t have to learn a whole new accent or lowers your voice perpetually.