Isolate Exactly What is Wrong

So you followed the first step.

You figured out all the things this person is doing well.

The more the merrier.

Make that list comprehensive.

Don’t shortchange it.

Don’t try to get as quickly as possible to the criticism even if the person is asking for it.

I’m telling you it doesn’t work.

But now that you’ve done all the praise now that you’ve listed every single thing they do well.

Now I want you to focus on one or two things.

The person is really doing wrong where you need improvement.

They’ve got a segway into that gracefully.

What I do with presentations is remind the person.

OK here are all your strengths you have good core set of communication strengths.

Now let’s talk about areas for improvement.

That’s what I would recommend to you too.

So if you’re telling someone hey you have good communication skills in general let’s talk about how to improve your phone skills.

Talking to angry clients or angry customers is a lot better than saying My God Fred you sound like a complete jerk talking to clients on the phone I wouldn’t want to be one of our customers if I had to deal with you to night.

Maybe true just too negative.

So summarize by saying they have good core strengths in whatever area it is you’re talking about and then say Now let’s talk about an area for improvement an area for improvement.

Sounds a lot more hopeful then you’re an idiot.

You’re doing it all wrong.

You’re a complete incompetent.

You know people like to pride themselves on being plainspoken and telling it like it is.

It just doesn’t work.

I wish it did.

It just doesn’t work now.

I’m not suggesting you sugar coat things but I am suggesting that you place it in the right context and you set yourself up for success and you set up the person you’re trying to help for success.

So rather than saying your awful let’s depersonalize it a little let’s say okay here’s an area for improvement if we could somehow reduce the arms and odds that are coming out you’ll see much more comfortable.

You’ll see more confidence.

Notice how I said that.

I didn’t say you sound like a complete blithering idiot when every other word is not how I phrased it.

It’s about here’s the biggest area for improvement.

If fewer US and ums can come out during the presentation you’ll sound more comfortable and confident so I’m clearly talking about what the problem is.

But I’m making it a little less personal talking about it just as a process.

These US and arms are coming out and then I talk about the benefits that will happen if this problem can be solved.

So that’s my next challenge for you.

Don’t try to tell someone a hundred things they’re doing wrong or 50 things.

Let’s focus on one or two.

I mean if someone you’re working with really is doing everything wrong you should probably give them a pink slip and have them find employment elsewhere or suggest they go into another line of work.

You can’t solve a problem where someone has absolutely no skills.

I mean if I am joining your professional golf team and you see me out of the golf course and you realize I’ll teach you you can’t hit wood you can’t pitch and you can’t really pot.

You can’t seem to shoot over there less than two hundred.

You’re probably not going to be a professional golfer.

There’s not much you can do is form for constructive criticism to make me a professional golfer.

Now of course you could help improve my strokes or improve my game.

But you’ve got to look at the big picture and what you’re trying to accomplish and that’s why I’m urging you focus on one or two really specific things that the person is doing wrong that are correctable.

So focus on that that’s your homework right now for one of the people you work with whether it’s a boss a colleague or an employee who reports to you.

Try to isolate and try to be able to talk about it.

Just a sentence or two.

What is the one really specific thing or two really specific things that you want to focus on.

And what I’d recommend if there are more there five or 10.

Let’s just talk about one at a time and let’s try to focus on improving those rather than overwhelming the person.

Let’s make incremental improvements.

We don’t have to make every single improvement at once so that’s your homework.

Pick one thing.

Write it down as to what the person is doing wrong.

That’s a problem.