Diagnosis

The first thing we had to do before we come up with a solution is to diagnose the problem.

We’ve got a C.

Are you assertive not assertive.

Really seeming scared nervous.

What exactly is the problem what’s driving you to this course in the first place.

We’ve got to do a diagnosis and when it comes to speaking that’s easy to do.

Technically it’s easy emotionally it can be hard getting motivated to do it but I need you to give a speech or presentation.

It could be three minutes but I need you to video recorded on your cell phone.

A webcam.

I know you don’t want to do it.

Guess what.

It’s the only way you’re going to get better at this.

It’s the only way you’re gonna have the confidence you need in order to come across as truly assertive when you speak.

You wouldn’t be in this course if you didn’t feel like you were somehow lacking in assertiveness lacking in confidence when you speak and it very well may be true.

But we have to figure out what we’re dealing with because sometimes people feel like they’re way down here and their confidence and assertiveness level and everyone else feels like they’re up here.

And when they look at a video of themselves they see it’s up here.

Other times people think they’re assertive and confident but they’re really down here or trying to do is to get it together.

So there’s no disconnect between the perception of how you are and how you actually are.

When you speak.

That’s the beauty of video it doesn’t lie.

So that’s the first step.

I need you to record yourself giving a presentation.

Any presentation.

And we only need about three minutes or so speak on whatever it is that you are likely to speak on on a regular basis.

That’s harder for you.

So if you give sales presentations every single day on copiers don’t now give a speech about your child’s little league soccer team.

It may be easy to get excited and passionate about that.

Talk about whatever it is you talk about in the business setting and let’s establish a baseline.

So I want you to record yourself now.

Then I need you to watch it.

And when you watch it I need you to really focus on strengths and weaknesses.

And I know some of you said well there’s nothing I like it’s awful.

Everybody does something well maybe you’re not saying I’m more like maybe your speed is OK.

Maybe your volume is fine.

Maybe you have some good hand gestures but I want you to give an accurate fair criticism of how you’re coming across now the things that typically make people seem nervous uncomfortable less than assertive is their voice their voice is too low the volume is too low.

It’s almost like they’re scared.

They’re afraid if someone hears them they might hear them make mistakes.

So volume is one thing.

Speed is another.

People are nervous and uncomfortable they’re what they want to do and they want to read and physicians sit down so they speak quit too quickly.

That makes you seem scared.

Does it make it seem like you’re really confident and that you want people to pause and reflect on what you’re saying.

So speed is one of those things.

There are other things that make people seem like you’re doubting yourself ending sentences with question marks the upturn even though you’re not asking a question.

That’s a huge element and making people think you’re not assertive.

Look at everything you’re doing with your body.

If you’re holding pens pencils paper the letter.

These are all things that make you seem scared that make you seem withdrawn.

Oh poor little me as opposed to asserting yourself and your ideas on your audience.

Now I’m not suggesting you have to be some theatrical Anthony Robbins or like the former Zig Ziglar and parading around the stage and demonstrating wildly.

I’m not suggesting that I want you to be comfortable with your style but if you’re just standing frozen in one spot behind a lectern that sends a message to people that you’re scared that you’re timid that you’re uncomfortable.

Certainly if you’re reading that is a disaster because you’ve destroyed your eye contact with the audience and you seem withdrawn in yourself assertive.

People are focusing on the people in the audience they’re trying to assert their will on their ideas on.

So if you are ignoring your audience and you’re in your own little world staring at your PowerPoint slides or wearing you notes that you’re going to seem scared timid nervous and uncomfortable so look at that right now record yourself analyze it come up with a list of what you like and don’t like.

Do it now.