How to Compromise

OK so what is a compromise.

Well you may already know but basically a compromise is when two people who disagree about something find a space in the middle where one side gives up something and the other side gives up something so that they can agree so that they can come to some sort of agreement.

So the parent who wants their son to study a lot after school is over here the parent who wants their son to have a lot of free time after school is over here.

Well they need to meet in the middle.

It’s not going to be only this or only this.

They need to find somewhere in the middle in this spectrum where they agree so that they can actually get somewhere.

Right.

So they have to find common ground.

This space in the middle between the two extremes of the spectrum.

This is the spectrum.

This area is common ground.

Maybe if our son takes four classes a week for extra classes a week then you’ll still have time to hang out with friends.

OK I could agree to three or four classes a week as long as he can do things he enjoys more creative things three times a week.

Yes OK.

That sounds fair.

So they’re in here.

Not on the extremes.

They have found common ground.

They’ve met in the middle.

They have.

And this can be a noun or a verb.

It can be a noun or a verb.

They have made they have made a compromise.

They have they have compromised and that’s a verb they have made a compromise.

They have compromised.

OK so that’s the meaning of compromise.

Now we can look at a couple of expressions when we’re ready to compromise.

OK.

So let’s look at a few of those.

Now let’s take that situation with the two parents who want to compromise.

They have two different views on an issue and they want to compromise.

Well one parent might say I’ll tell you what I’ll tell you what.

So this is a way to suggest the compromise.

The thing that you’re willing to give up.

Tell you what if he can take three classes a week and also play with his friends a few times a week then I think we have a deal.

I think we can agree.

Let’s talk about a seller for example a seller wants to sell something a buyer wants to buy something.

Seller is giving a very high price.

Buyer doesn’t want to pay a high price.

They want to pay a low price obviously.

OK.

So they are at opposite ends of the spectrum.

But the person in the shop who wants to buy something has made it very clear they don’t want to pay the full price.

They think it’s too high.

The seller is ready to compromise to give up a little bit.

So the seller might say Well I’ll tell you what.

Instead of 400 How about 350 we use How about as a way to recommend the new price.

It’s very common.

And we’ll look at another situation in a moment.

How about this.

How about this three hundred fifty and I’ll give you a free.

Whatever and something.

How about this is to recommend it to suggest the new thing.

The compromise would you be willing to consider three hundred three hundred.

That’s my final offer although that wouldn’t really be a compromise if you added that.

But sometimes people say that final offer in a negotiation when you’re bargaining with the seller.

Bargaining with the seller would you be willing to consider this if you want to get somebody to do something you can recommend it in this way.

Would you be willing to consider helping me move my sofa tomorrow.

Would you be willing to consider that.

It’s very very polite very gentle.

OK.

Could you meet me in the middle on this.

Now this one may not be used so much when it comes to price in a shop.

Media could you could say could you meet me in the middle on this.

I think 300 is fair.

350 is still too high.

Could you meet me in the middle on this please.

All right.

All right I guess so.

You’ve got a deal.

OK.

Maybe maybe but I think this one is probably more common for situations more like the husband and the wife who disagree about their child.

Listen I just don’t want him to be in class all day including after school.

I think it’s reasonable that he should have some free time.

Could you meet me in the middle on this.

Let’s find some common ground.

OK.

Now a couple more expressions we can use when we’re in this sort of bargaining negotiation type situation negotiating by the way is what we’re doing.

We are negotiating.

If it’s money that we’re dealing with then we’re bargaining we’re bargaining when we’re talking about money especially in a shop sometimes haggling but usually bargaining.

I think what I’m asking is reasonable.

Now this is just a comment.

This is just a thing to say to sort of support the number you gave.

So four classes a week.

I think what I’m asking is is reasonable don’t you.

Then the other side has to say something.

Yes or no.

Probably.

OK.

I’m not saying we have to do it my way or only my way but I think for example if one parent wants the boy to take two classes every day after school.

That would be my way.

That’s my way My way is what I want what I think is right.

In fact we have an interesting expression.

My way or the highway my way or the highway it’s my way or the highway.

That means if you don’t agree with what I think is right with what I want to do leave get on the highway go away.

It’s like that.

It’s my way or the highway.

So when you’re compromising you can’t say that can’t say my way or the highway.

If you want to compromise so I’m not saying we have to do it my way or I’m not saying we have to do it only my way means I’m willing to be flexible here.

But I think it is important that he take some classes.

It’s very important that he takes some classes so that he can stay ahead and compete with the other students.

So this one is really good for negotiating in situations.

We are talking about actions what should be done not usually about price and when you’re ready to compromise.

You can use these phrases to kind of support your side and and sort of explain your side to show that what you’re saying is reasonable it’s reasonable very reasonable.