Phrases for Difficult Choices

So far in this lesson we’ve talked about how we can show disagreement with others either in a very polite way or a more direct way.

And how when we have disagreements we can come to a compromise.

For example in a negotiation or when we need to bargain and how we can use phrases to express that we’re ready to give something up.

Now we’re going to talk about another type of difficult situation a difficult choice and you have to make a choice.

That’s not fun.

There are two really common expressions and I want to teach you the two expressions because they are very common and very useful.

And then we’re going to actually look at some examples.

One of them could be a choice between two good things but it’s difficult still.

Right.

But the two choices are good positive.

The other is definitely for bad things definitely for negative things.

So let’s learn these two and then look at the examples.

Have you ever been in a situation where you have two choices.

There’s just so hard to make one or the other.

It may be that it’s because this choice is not great in this choice is not great but it may often be because this choice is very good very attractive and this choice is very good very attractive choice and choice B are both great choices.

You don’t know which one to go with which means choose to go with.

OK so on the fence is the expression I’m on the fence I’m on the fence.

Well what what does that mean.

Let’s break that down.

Well a fence is something that divides two things.

For example there’s a home here with a yard and a home here with a yard.

Let me draw a very fast and very ugly home.

There’s a home here a tree and a yard and.

OK.

And there’s a home here and then the little tree.

This one’s bigger.

Oh this bigger tree and a yard.

OK so two houses now in the middle.

In the middle there’s a fence.

There’s a fence here and it divides the two properties one property two properties.

Now you can imagine walking on the fence right.

If you’re walking on the fence it takes great balance.

We use this visual idea this visual idea to communicate that we don’t know if we should fall off on this side or fall off on this side.

We don’t know.

That’s why we’re on the fence about whether to A or B whether to go with A or B.

I’m really on the fence about whether whether often I should do A or go with B.

I just don’t know.

So let’s look at an example we talked about the two houses.

So we should have a pretty good idea about what on the fence means.

Let’s actually look at a case where we can use it.

OK.

I got offers from both talking about two two companies here.

If you go to a job interview you apply to a company and you go to an interview and you do well maybe you do that at two different companies and you get an offer that means they would like you to work for them.

So that’s a good thing.

I got offers from both and I’m completely on the fence about which one to choose.

We could also remember say about whether to choose that or x box game company X Box offers great benefits a great benefits package benefits are the extra things besides your salary basic things your salary your salary benefits are things like health insurance.

And sometimes sometimes we have an expense account which means you can have a credit card and you just swipe it when you buy stuff an expense account anyway x box offers a great benefits package and the pay is fantastic.

That means the salary is fantastic.

Those are two different things.

But Apple seems to have better long term prospects prospects in terms of promotions.

I could really go either way at this point and I could use some help.

So we would maybe give advice to this person.

Oh you poor you poor you.

You have the choice to work at two very good companies with a great salary and you can’t choose.

Oh no I say follow your heart or go and live in a cave.

OK.

So here when we say in terms of promotions that means chances to get a better job in the future better prospects means you have some good possibilities in the future.

If you’re standing on a hill and you look out over the horizon your prospects are the things that are possible for you have no prospects.

It could be for your relationships could be for your career often for a career.

So here’s how we use on the fence.

And usually it’s for two good things.

But again not always.

Now let’s look at another expression which is very similar and can also express a difficult choice but it is for two negative things.

The next expression for describing a difficult choice where both choices are bad is between a rock and a hard place.

Now this has a very interesting physical sort of visual description connected to it which helps us really understand it.

There is a movie called One Hundred and twenty seven hours and it’s about a man who goes hiking in.

He ends up in a canyon.

The rock wall came and there’s a boulder which is a big stones Canyon is to two stone walls on both sides of you.

We could also call it a crevice if it’s smaller so maybe it’s a crevice whatever and a Boulder is a big stone.

OK.

And he gets his hand stuck between the rock and the wall and he can’t get it out and he’s there for days.

This is a true story.

The movie is not the real thing but the story is real.

And he has to make a choice should I stay here and die.

That’s choice.

A one choice a stay here and die from starvation or lack of water.

Choice B choice number two also not good.

Cut my hand off.

I have a very old not very sharp knife.

I would have to break the bone and cut my arm off because that’s what stuck between the the wall and the the Boulder.

So there are two choices.

Both choices are terrible.

So we say I’m between a rock and a hard place.

The interesting thing about this one is that he’s actually between a rock this thing which is a rock and a hard place the wall.

So it’s very physically meaningful to you can picture it very clearly I think.

Don’t picture it too clearly.

He ended up cutting his arm off by the way.

He survived but he had to cut his arm off very slowly.

No fun.

So we used this expression when we’re in any kind of situation like this.

Two difficult choices to make.

We don’t know which one to choose.

It’s not fun.

So let’s look at an example.

This example comes from a business owner someone who’s owning a business and it’s a small business.

It’s a shop to shop maybe a bookshop a coffee shop and it’s not doing well.

It’s not doing very well not making very much money.

Maybe customers aren’t coming in for some reason.

So the shop owner says if things aren’t looking good either way either way means it could be that way or that way.

Both options are bad.

You could go either way means you could go this way.

Go left go right.

Things aren’t looking good either way.

I could either close my shop and file for bankruptcy.

Bankruptcy is when you basically announce formally legally that you cannot pay back money that you’ve borrowed.

And it’s sort of like a restart on your financial situation file for bankruptcy or borrow more money and try to breathe new life into the business.

This is another expression to breathe life into something is to to try to give it a fresh start or something new something fresh so that it can change.

While that change in my diet really breathed new life into my daily routine I have much more energy now be a simple example.

I guess you could say I’m between a rock and a hard place.

Or you could say I’m really between a rock and a hard place.

Or you could just directly say I’m between a rock and a hard place.

So this one doesn’t fit very well within the description of what the two bad choices are.

It’s usually a sentence by itself unlike the other one.

I’m on the fence because we say I’m on the fence about whether to a or b but this one.

We say I’m between a rock and a hard place.

I’m really between a rock and a hard place either at the beginning or the end of the description of what the two things are.

So it’s used differently.

It’s usually separated from the actual description.

So when we want to actually recommend what our friend should do in either situation either the on the fence situation with the two companies or the company that’s about to go bankrupt unless the owner borrows more money.

How do we give advice to these people.

Well we can use the phrase best bet best bet as a way to say this is what I think would be the smartest choice it is most likely it is most likely the best choice when we’re giving our opinion about something we might be talking about the probability of success or how likely it is that this idea is going to be the one that you should choose the one that works out in the long run.

Finally basically is the meaning.

OK so best bet your best bet is to your best bet is to let’s look at the examples for the first situation.

Your best bet would be to go with the company that has better long term prospects long term means not not just now not just money now but in the far future go with.

Remember go with means choose the company that has better long term prospects.

And again basically it means that’s what I think is the smartest choice the most likely to be successful to be good for you in the long run.

In the second situation number two your best bet might be to hire a marketing team and try to revive the business revive means to bring it back to life it’s almost dead to come back to life.

Come back to life.

Revive the business.

If you give up now you may never get another shot at it.

This shot is another try another attempt another try another attempt at it.

This may be your only chance to follow your dream of having a bookstore so your best bet.

The smartest thing for you to do the thing that’s most likely to lead to success for you is to hire a marketing team.

In this lesson we’ve learned quite a few new phrases for describing difficult situations and describing disagreement as well as compromise.

So what I’d like you to do is try to describe a situation in which you’ve had to make a difficult choice a difficult choice.

Try to describe both the pros the good things and the cons of both choices of the choices.

Record yourself so speak into your phone and then listen to it again.

Make sure to use the expressions from this lesson and write down any mistakes you find so that you can become more aware of those mistakes so that you can hear them when you’re seeing them next time.

Good luck.