Wedding Speech What Not to Do

You’ve heard me say what a wedding speech should be a chance for you to have people in the room feel good about this bride and groom and to take away something else perhaps they didn’t know about him a nice experience.

But let me spend a moment and talk about what a wedding speech is not a wedding speech is not a chance for you to educate people on every single accomplishment this person has ever had.

It’s not the time for you to get out with something like people see a whole bunch of papers they think oh my god this looks like a board meeting at a county commission government meeting.

It’s awful it’s going to be painful.

They don’t want to see you read.

When I first met the groom when he was five years old nobody likes to be read to to ask yourself do you like it when people read to you whether it’s PowerPoint or anything else.

The second you read you’ve robbed yourself of the spontaneity of this good wedding speech needs to sound like seem like you’re just speaking from the heart.

Now of course you need to have planned.

You need to be prepared.

You need to have rehearsed but you should simply be speaking to people.

You need to be looking at the bride or the groom or the couple or the family members when you’re talking about them.

If you are looking at this and there’s no eye contact it really robs the moment.

Now I know what you’re saying.

Oh T.J.

I’m going to be so nervous I’m not going to remember what to say.

I’m going to walk you through that don’t worry you’re not going to have to remember that much.

Remember this is not you pitching a venture capitalist and you’re trying to go through all the numbers of your projections of how much money you’re going to make every quarter for the next three years.

It’s not that sort of a presentation you just have to focus on one or two good traits a story to make it come alive to make people feel good about the couple you’re honoring here.

So get rid of the text don’t even think of reading.

Just don’t even think about it.

You’re gonna think what’s going to help you it’s not going to help you.

It’s going to make you seem like a bit of a boring hack.

So I beg you do not have a speech that you’re going to read.

Word for word it simply is not appropriate.

It lends an air of formality to something in a bad way.

You have not won the Nobel Peace Prize.

You won the Nobel Peace Prize.

Fine I’ll let you read the speech.

That’s not what this wedding speech is about.

Don’t make the mistake of going on and on and on too long remember.

People want to get to the bar.

They want to get to the dance floor.

They’re not here to listen to you.

Humor is good.

But don’t try your stuff from your standup comedy training course and a whole bunch of new zingers and gotchas that seem overly contrived.

Don’t use canned humor from a book instead simply retell stories that make fun of yourself when something funny happens.

But let people make the judgment that it’s funny.

Don’t tell them it’s funny.

Don’t telegraph that you’re up here doing this standup comedy.

It shouldn’t necessarily be standup comedy it shouldn’t be generic at all.

Everything needs to be focused on that bride that groom that couple if you do that you’ll be in great shape.

So remember don’t read don’t go on too long certainly don’t think you’re being funny by being overly personal and nasty.

Now I understand if it’s a bachelor party or bachelorette party and there are no video cameras around and it’s a late at night and everyone’s had a few.

OK let’s change the rules for that.

But when you’re at the wedding when their family members present when their father in laws and mother in laws present.

That’s not the time to be risque.

You’re going to make fun of someone.

Someone’s going to be the butt of the joke.

Make sure it’s you make sure that the bride the groom that they come out smelling like a rose do that you’ll be in good shape.