Clothing, Culture & Character - Part 2دوره: Mastering ielts writing task 2 band 9 model answers / فصل: Opinion Essays / درس 2
Clothing, Culture & Character - Part 2
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The way I want to begin the body is to again just stress that. Yes I’m kind of being forced to agree with this view in the way that I see it at least. So I’m going to write something like It’s important to acknowledge that yes you are right. It’s important to acknowledge we want to say that I want to stress that point we’re going to open it with a simple case of a device that usually works in most cases when it comes to the first paragraph. That’s just simply to begin with to begin with. Don’t forget your comments. I know I bring this up a few times but so many people forget to begin with comma Firstly comma. Furthermore comma or of a comma. Cetera. OK. So to begin with it is important to acknowledge this is when we want the reader just to understand us on a particular point is important to acknowledge that it’s OK. The choice of PLO’s the way that we talk about the choice of clothes is right down here. What I added in the topic sentence dress sense so that the dress sense of many people not so many people is reflective of their culture and because code is quite hard to paraphrase I usually avoid paraphrasing too much otherwise it can sound a bit forced. Carter again is something we probably could we could write character we might write thing like interests because interests usually form a character. Arguably it’s a little bit too far away. I’m going to take that risk and I did it just to avoid the repetition so I’m going to say that culture and interests. Now why is that the case. Why ask a question why are we on so with. Because in the introduction to this sentence we say this is because nice transition. This is because in many cultures and notice my avoidance of the generalization many people many cultures not all of them in many cultures. There is only the tip killer cold as we’ve got there in the plan. That particular code for dressing that sounds quite unnatural to me. As I said we were going to reword it once we got to the part of the essay now that we’re there we can think about it particularly code for addressing no particular code for how to do this particular code or how to dress. If you worried about the repetition of dress just notice that this head for the compound noun here we using as a verb. So if anything we’re showing our understanding of word formation and word class how to dress appropriately. Just like in the plan. Again that’s the whole point of the plan is to help speed us up next sentence we’re looking at an example. Don’t ever think it straight in for instance. Now this was about business isn’t it. I should have written it in the plan really just in case I forgot. It’s unlikely that I would would write that in the men suits business. So if we see this kind of man what are we going to think. That’s right. And in the instance if we see a man wearing an expensive sarod expensive going about that interest to have an adjective an expensive business sort shouldn’t write a business suit because it gives away an expensive suit and maybe I mean what else what kind of other symbols would we see. Wearing a suit what is he carrying. Carrying a briefcase. So carrying a briefcase we can fairly OK. And so it’s not unfair. We can fairly if I know I’m going to change up to say we can’t make it there. Yes just demonstrates a wider and stronger understanding collocation we can make a fair guess that he is a nice verb here when we talk about culture. Steve did you steeped in something immersed in its grounds you know deep within it. He is steeped in business culture. OK. For instance if we see a man wearing an expensive suit carrying a briefcase we can make a fair guess that he is steeped in business culture and I don’t know he may exist. We just included a conditional sentence here as well improving our grammatical range. Right now we’re going to look a complex into sort of conditional necessarily but a complex sentence in the next sentence as well where are we looking at this result sentence. So we’ve got this to social symbols that’s going to form the first false second tours is looking at what we can ascertain. So the cause of what you. Well if you prefer. Because of these social symbols. Nice expression there because it’s a complex sentence. We’ve reached the end of the first clause so we had that comma move into the second clause. This is key. It is possible. I don’t care that I don’t rectally repeating the task language. I want to make it that clear and it’s very very unlikely that you would be marked down for doing that particularly if you don’t do any introduction and you do it in the body. It is possible to quickly ascertain ops when you’re doing quickly ascertain that some people live in one culture. Other people live in a different culture. In other words people live in one culture instead of another. It and there’s our power it will have to work and no easier work out of one set quite nice at the moment. If we double that up I think we get to 1 2 7 4. So which you should be within that 10 percent limit. Let’s move on to the second paragraph then. Here is where we are taking a different direction and a cohesive device that we use to use the paragraph that is quite important should be appropriate. We could use however we could use nevertheless. Now I think we’re going to use however later when we look at the example I’m going to use this one here particularly because we’re in the general training module and we can be a little bit more casual with our language that said or having said that our great cohesive device is to use that maybe a touch informal for the academic I think they would be fine but they’re certainly going to be OK for the general frame. So that’s there are. That’s the key word. Often there are often limits how much we can. Another word for us Etain work out well what can we be okay only use the word discover how much we can discover just by recognizing here. Let’s just give it simple looking hands. Don’t overthink it. Timing is a priority. If you can think of a particular synonym or another way of saying something within about five to 10 seconds Don’t wait. Just use the first idea that comes to mind. Put a little asterisk by it. Come back to it later. If you have time synonyms and paraphrasing are not your number one priority they are important but they’re not your number one priority. Getting the essay finished is your number one priority. OK. There are limits to how much we can discover just by looking at someone’s clothes. I put a full stop here but if I look at my plan I’ve actually got a little bit more I want to say cono especially especially with character especially if you don’t want to seem like with regards to character or when it comes to that a little bit more general training language. With regards to academic when it comes to a little bit more for you especially when it comes to character I can notice I’m still using possessives don’t forget to include your possessive pronouns especially when it comes to that character. Next sentence we have the idea of a nice way to introduce an idiom or a common expression something that people can understand immediately ready to introduce it with this often who often will when we write. After all the reader is prepared to read something that he already knows. That’s what the use of after rule is. It’s to prepare the reader for something that they already know something that they’ve already heard something that both reader and writer already understand. That’s when we use an expression like after all. So after rule and if you are saying it in a speaking exam that’s how it would sound to do. After all after all it is said and note is that passage because everybody says it so it is said we can use that. There is something that everybody does. We can say it is said. It is understood. It is said that you should go never change judge a book by its cover. After all is said that you should never judge a book by its cover. We have an example we used for instance and I’m going to say to illustrate to illustrate a woman to get a woman to marry a woman dressed all in black may be we use that verb again Judge. But notice we are using in a passive sense look different may be judged to have a depressed mood Rowse I’m going to bring in another adjective here because it’s just come to mind. Cynical. You could also use pessimistic as well and pessimistic is a bit better. Just notice the double s on it’s own. No WMD and Godbless over here. Pessimistic depressed morose pessimistic character nature personality. We use personality or go with nature have a depressed morose pessimistic nature as we associate such feelings with the color black. Notice the color language here. We do not write black color. We don’t say that we don’t say red color. We don’t say blue color we don’t say green color we say red we say Green we say blue. We say the color red. We say the color green and we say the color blue. But we do not use black color red color blue color. Such a common mistake that I see. So keep that in mind. OK. With the color back. However I said it was good use however did not. So however we continue in this example. However it is possible. In fact it is a nice expression doesn’t really logically make sense in a way because you either have it possible or impossible. There’s nothing in between but this is an expression of we use it is more than possible it is more than possible that such a woman. This woman that such a woman may be full Let’s think about this scenario here if you’re wearing black. Maybe she’s coming back from an event or sadly a funeral maybe. So he didn’t say that he’s returning from a funeral or simply thinks people in a plan she looks good in black. She looks good in black and I noticed that collocation looks good. Simple language like that really really helps to improve your mark indexical resource for colourations. So it is more than possible such a woman is returning from a funeral will simply thinks that she looks good in black and it’s just a mixture here as well of present continuous and present simple. She thinks she is she. So she thinks she is returning. So you’ve got this mixture of tenses and that will help to improve your scoring grammatical range. What if we got we got happy and cheerful. Let’s make sure we have that as well. So and now this is actually more important because it’s not about a person’s let’s say a person situation like that or it’s about the character. So because it’s more important I’m actually going to write that and more importantly not just the two corners as well as what you need and more importantly she has a happy cheerful. So we have nature. We have character we have personality. Really nice loss when we can use disposition disposition just a synonym of personality character. Really. OK. Coming to the conclusion to finish things up. I was always the question. In conclusion. Why. Because again we’ve got these contrasting body paragraphs. We know we can use a complex sentence with something like while whereas while it is not impossible. Now this is a bit strange because I’m using like a double negative here. Not impossible but this is to further stress the point that we shouldn’t really look at it this way. That’s my opinion. Yes it may be possible but we shouldn’t do it if that’s the case we can use a double negative. While it is not impossible it’s very unlikely. It’s kind of what we’re saying is possible that it’s very unlikely. It’s not impossible to gather accurate information. It’s collocation that gather information together actually information about persons. I mean it’s getting difficult to paraphrase but we can take background and sort of culture I guess background and character. I mean with his personality disposition nature Cantorian and character through by Wajir maybe by the distance and we’ve used it but it’s ok kind of running out of time if we were in the exam for that dress sense. And the first clues into the second clause summarizing the second paragraph. OK. There is a there’s a risk isn’t there getting things wrong. Risk danger maybe it would be good. There is a danger unless collocation actually was quite obvious and real but it actually collocate quite well. There is a real danger of if you get something wrong when somebody gives you information or maybe they’re trying to guide you in a different direction. There’s a good verb for that mislead. Now what would be the past participle of mislead because what happens in the passive is let misled misled. And remember there’s no a here because that’s just mislead. So we have misled a lot of people get the past participle of lead wrong which is lead. But if you think about read and read we suspect the same doesn’t work like that with lead just with any so being misled. If we do this all of the time. In other words if we rely on this all the time or it may be a nicer expression at all times Mmm there’s a little bit of a lack of precision here on this on this. What maybe could be a bit more precise. I’m going to write on this method of assessment at all times. OK a look at this again. In conclusion while it is not impossible to gather accurate information about a person’s background of character via their dress sense there is a real danger of being misled. If we rely on this method of assessment at all times that is good to me and that’s important. Reading the paragraph or sentence again of course you can’t say out loud in the exam but do it in your head and just think. Would I say this. Does this sound not true. Because that’s it should be possible for you to say a particular sentence that you write out loud without sounding weird. Yes some of the vocabulary and grammar we use when right is different too when we speak but there should be a similarity it shouldn’t sound very strange. OK OK let’s finish off by checking the work him to 7:08 a bit over the 10 percent button Podley anything really not so important. So 278 words. Not too bad too. And that is another opinion essay one which is looking at. Do you agree or disagree. And what I want you to take away from this in particular from this lecture is about how to handle questions. Beacher expressions like these. It is possible along with things like aloft case. Frequency and quantity. Those issues can really change an opinion and the way that you present it.
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