Give Highly Specific Advice

So we have identified every single strength that this colleague has in a particular skill area you’re focused on and we spent a lot of time on that.

All of it factual and true.

Make them feel a little better about the overall position they have there with their strengths.

Then you’ve isolated just one or two specific problems and you’ve tried to talk about it in as non personal away as possible so we can focus just on the thing they are doing or not doing.

That’s a second step.

Now we move on to the third step.

We’ve got to give them very very specific advice on how to improve.

It may be self-evident to you it’s obviously not self-evident to this person.

They wouldn’t be doing it.

It’s not enough to say stop being a jerk to that customer on the phone.

Stop yelling at prospects.

You’ve got to give them more highly specific tips strategies tactics on how to solve the problem how to do it well.

So for example back to my own situation with my clients.

If somebody has lots and lots of us and arms coming out I’ve talked to them about their strengths.

We’ve isolated the problem and I say now the good news is this is a simple problem to solve.

It’s a very common problem making them feel a little better.

And it is true I have dealt with this problem with CEOs with presidents of countries.

It’s a common problem it’s easily solved.

Here’s what we’re going to do.

And if it’s the word that keeps coming out I pull a sticker off and I put it right on their watch their cell phone that has the word and International Red no sign no left hand turn.

No parking no no.

And I tell them Look it’s a common problem.

I’m now giving you visual reminders not to say it.

So when you look at your watch when you look at your cell phone your tablet you’re going to see this international red no sign with the word are in it after a day you’ll still say up but you’ll have sort of this thing pop up almost like a the Homer Simpson moment where you are aware of saying it but you still say it after two or three days your mouth and lips and tongue start to form the sound of on you almost catch it but it still comes out.

But after a week the image will come up and you can simply pause.

You won’t say it.

Now you’ll come across more comfortable confident and relaxed.

And this really does work folks just saying that often relaxes people to the point where the very next presentation they give five minutes later the problem melts away.

But even if it doesn’t I have a solution that solves the problem and it does work in a week.

Now not every problem is quite that neat and tidy but the more you can break it down and give people really really specific actionable things to do.

You’re going to make them feel better and there’s going to at least be help.

So if you find an employee who is simply rude to prospects calling on the phone say you know look I realize people are rude the public can be rude sometimes.

Here’s one step I want you to try to take when someone is yelling at you and they’re getting angrier.

I want you to very consciously reduce your own volume 20 percent speak softer that might calm them down.

That’s just one tip.

If that’s your business and you’ve had to do it yourself you have your own strategies but come up with very very specific action items for your colleague or employee to do.

Maybe you have an employee who has just been promoted and still dresses in a way that suggests not an executive it’s too casual it’s too unflattering and you need to help them.

What you’ve got to do is figure out in a deli and this can be awkward in the workplace talking about people’s dress but you’ve got to figure out a way to give them specific advice of what is going to be flattering what is going to help them with their own image and maybe that you point to someone you know they respect someone in their industry who is a well-known star and you see a photo of them or you see a video of them on YouTube and you comment on how good the clothing looks on that person and see if that can lay some seeds.

So you’ve got to be delicate with these issues but you have to be highly specific because if you’re not specific the way it gets processed in someone’s mind is I’m a bad person.

I’m just not a born Speaker I’m not born with natural style or I’m not born with knowing how to talk to clients on the phone.

That’s baloney.

People are taught skills.

All of this is learned skill.

There’s not a lot of business or the world that can’t be learned by people willing to learn.

So it’s your job if you’re going to be the critic to then give highly highly specific to do items for this person so so they can actually solve the problem.

That’s your next step.

It’s the third step in this process.

Come up with a specific action but you can write it down and hand the person in a letter and email but face to face is always going to be better talking about it in conjunction with all the strengths and laying out precisely what the problem is.

So come up with your solutions right now.

It’s always easier to criticize.

That’s true of politicians running for office.

It’s true of a lot of things.

But if you really want to help this person criticism isn’t enough.

You’ve got to give specific tips on how to solve the problem.

Do it now.