Breakdown of Practice Question 1

دوره: IELTS Writing Task 1 Academic / فصل: Part 3 - Cooking / درس 2

Breakdown of Practice Question 1

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Welcome back.

Now that you’ve seen me do this practice question number one in real time.

We’re now going to break down my answer to see all the different components that we need for a great

answer.

So let’s go ahead and take a look

so this was the practice question which we answered in our previous video.

So now I’m first going to break down the strategy for writing the answer to this question and then I’ll

break down the ingredients so we’ll first begin by talking about how to write the introduction.

So here in the question prompt in the red color we have what we call our collection language.

And for the introduction we have to paraphrase this question language by using synonyms.

And by changing up the word order so in my answer here’s how I rephrased this question language.

The given line graph illustrates data on the number of passengers in the underground station in London

from 6:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. so I used synonym for the word shows by changing it to illustrate instead

of writing passenger numbers I’ve changed it to the number of passengers I’ve specified what type of

craft we have by saying that we have a line graph and I’ve also added some additional information by

telling the reader the period over which our line graph is plotted so that’s all I’ve done for my introduction.

Now let’s move on to the next paragraph which is the overview.

So in our overview which is our second paragraph we have to look at the starting data point.

The ending data point the highest data point and the lowest data point.

So that’s exactly what I did when I wrote my answer in the previous video in my answer.

I described the highest and the lowest data points.

Plus I described the starting and the ending data points.

So this is what my second paragraph looked like.

Generally speaking the underground station has the lowest number of passengers early morning at 6:00

a.m. and in the late evening at 4 pm by 8 a.m. the station reaches its peak volume and by 10:00 pm the

total amount drops significantly after finishing my overview paragraph.

I then moved on to writing the specific details so to write the specific details I split my info graphic

into two halves.

So I discussed this first half in the third paragraph and I discussed this second half in the fourth

paragraph so let’s take a look at how I described the first half of the information in the third paragraph

to be specific.

There are only 100 passengers at 6:00 a.m. but this number surges over the next two hours and reaches

a peak of 400 passengers by 8 AM.

However this volume quickly plummets over the next two hours and settles at about one hundred eighty

passengers by 10:00 a.m. before climbing again to a total of 300 passengers over the next four hours

so notice that here are first described.

This data point at 6 a.m. I’ve said that there are only one hundred passengers here.

Then I’ve said that this number quickly surges and it reaches a peak meaning the highest point of 400

passengers by 8 a.m. however this number quickly plummets over the next two hours by 10:00 a.m. and

settles at about one hundred eighty passengers and then this number climbs again to a total of three

hundred passengers so in my third paragraph I’ve only described the data points which I thought were

the most important so I’ve described this data point because this is where our graph starts then I’ve

described this data point because this is the highest data point.

Then I described this data point because this is a turning point.

This is where our graph changes direction from going down to going up again.

And then I’ve described this data point which is the last data point for the first half of our info

graphic and it is also a turning point because at this point our graph changes direction from going

up to going down again let’s now move on to our fourth paragraph here.

We’re going to describe the second half of our line graph.

So let’s take a look at what I wrote for my fourth paragraph starting at 2:00 pm the number of passengers

continues dropping until reaching the lowest point of one hundred passengers by 4 p.m. but over the

next two hours the number rapidly increases to nearly 370 passengers before plummeting again over the

next two hours to a little under 150 by 8 pm.

After this point passenger volume steadily rises over the next two hours by around 50 passengers so

here we’re saying that starting at this point at 2:00 p.m. the number continues dropping until it reaches

the lowest point which is a hundred passengers by 4:00 PM.

But over the next two hours this number rapidly rises to nearly three hundred and seventy passengers.

However after this point it quickly plummets again over the next two hours to a little under one hundred

fifty passengers after this point.

This number steadily rises again over the next two hours by around 50 passengers.

So notice that’s similar to the first half of our info graphic in the second half.

We’ve also only described the most important data points.

So we described this data point which is the starting data point for the second half of our info graphic

this data point is also a turning point where the line graph changes direction from going up to going

down again.

Then we described this data point which is the lowest data point for our line graph here.

Then we described this data point since this is a turning point.

This is a point where our line graph changes direction from going up to going down again and then we

described this data point which is another turning point.

And finally we described this data point which is the ending data point for our line graph.

So now our fourth paragraph is complete so when we put together all of our different paragraphs the

introduction the overview paragraphs number three and number four this is what our entire task one essay

looks like.

Here we have a total of four paragraphs where in the first paragraph we’ve paraphrased the question

language in the second paragraph in the overview we’ve given some general information about the starting

and the ending data points plus the highest and the lowest data points.

Then in the third paragraph we’ve talked about the key numeric details.

Notice that we’ve started to describe numbers in our third and our fourth paragraph and we’ve split

this information such that we’ve talked about the first half of our line graph in the third paragraph

and we’ve talked about the second half of our line graph in the fourth paragraph.

Now I want you to notice a few more details about this answer.

First I want you to note that here we’ve used words such as about a little under a round and nearly

to avoid overgeneralization.

So this is very important for maintaining accuracy whenever you are estimating the numbers you have

to use soft words such as this to maintain accuracy.

The second thing I want you to note is the paragraph ring and the spacing.

Basically this just means that in my answer here of separated the paragraphs by leaving a line between

any two given paragraphs.

So now we’re finished with breaking down the structure of our answer.

So now we’re going to be breaking down the different ingredients that have went into our answer so we’re

going to start off by first talking about cohesive devices so you may recall that cohesive devices are

words and phrases that help to glue our sentences and ideas together.

Basically these words and phrases increase the fluency of our writing so here you’ll notice that we’ve

used many different types of cohesive devices for example here we’ve used the word given to reference

back to the line graph that we’re referring to here.

We’ve used what’s called a discourse marker to start our paragraph.

We’ve said generally speaking here here’s another discourse marker to be specific here.

We’ve used the word however to show contrast and you’ll also notice that here we have some coordinating

and subordinating conjunctions which are also acting as cohesive devices to link our ideas together.

So I suggest that you pause the video and take a closer look at these cohesive devices so that you can

understand exactly how to use them next we have coordinating conjunctions so all the coordinating conjunctions

are highlighted here in the green and the blue color.

Now I want you to note that here in the green color we have coordinating conjunctions which form compound

sentences.

So if you’ll recall a compound sentence is when we have two independent clauses that are joined together

by a coordinating conjunction.

Now here we also have coordinating conjunctions in the blue color.

However these coordinating conjunctions do not form compound sentences.

However I want you to note that there are still great to use and you should include them where you can

because they do connect long phrases together and they do help you to form complex structures.

So this will definitely help your score as well just as much as writing a compound sentence would now

other than coordinating conjunctions in our answer.

We also used subordinating conjunctions.

So if you’ll recall we usually use subordinating conjunctions to form complex sentences complex sentences

are when we connect an independent clause and a dependent clause using a subordinate in conjunction.

Now let’s move on to our next ingredient.

Here we have relative pronouns in this answer we don’t have any relative pronouns so I want you to note

that even though we don’t have relative pronouns in this answer our answer is still a great answer.

I want you to note that you don’t have to have every single ingredient to have a great answer even if

you have a few of the ingredients that you’ve used really well.

You can still get a band nine on your exam let’s move on to our next ingredient here.

We’re talking about the voice of our answer.

So if you’ll recall we have two different types of voices in the English language.

We have what’s called the active voice and we have what’s called the passive voice so the active voice

is when the subject does the verb and the passive voice is when the verb does the subject so when this

answer I’ve written everything in the active voice we have not used any passive voice here.

Now let’s move on to our next ingredient here.

We’re looking at the different tenses that we have in our answer in this answer.

We only have one tense.

We only have the present simple tense so all the present simple tenses are highlighted in the green

color let us move on to our next category here.

We have called occasions call occasions are groups of words that often appear together.

Essentially these are chunks of words that frequently appear together in the English language for example

late evening is a group of words that are often used together with each other.

Early morning is another pair of words that often appear together.

Another call location is over the next four hours.

Usually we use the word over when we’re describing a period of time.

So in this case we’re describing a period of four hours.

So therefore over the next four hours is a group of words that fit together with each other.

So for that reason this is another call location so I suggest that you pause the video now and go through

these qualifications to get a better understanding of them now you may be wondering why we have some

cool locations that are so long.

Actually I’ve highlighted this entire part not because we have a really long convocation.

That’s not the reason.

The real reason is that here the words are called skating with each other as a chain you see so one

word co-located with another word and this word co-located with the next word.

And this word co-located with the next word.

And therefore we have a long string of words that all co-located with each other.

So let me show you what I mean.

Let’s take a look at this string of words over here.

In this case we have several different cholera patients.

Our first colonization is passenger volume.

Our second colonization is volume rises.

OK.

So volume often goes up rises.

So this is another colonization another location is steadily rises steadily rises.

Then we have high rises over OK that’s our next allocation.

Then we have over the next two hours and then we have rises by.

So here we have the word by.

And here we have the word arises.

So here you can see how intricately all the different words are co-located with each other how all the

different words fit together with each other if you’re wondering what’s the best way to learn the cholera

patients.

Well the best way is to actually do a lot of reading so that you can get used to seeing the words that

often appear together with each other.

Now we’re going to move on to our final ingredient.

We’re going to talk about the vocabulary you have to use new words if you want to get a high vocabulary

score.

So here I’ve highlighted all the new words in the blue color and I’ve highlighted all the vocabulary

words that are used in the question language in this brown color.

So all these words that we’ve used here such as drops significantly surges.

These are new vocabulary words.

And when you use them in your writing you’re going to get points for that on your vocabulary category

however when you use words such as number or passengers in this particular case you’re not going to

get any points for that since these words have already been used in the question itself so to get a

high vocabulary score you have to use new words so I suggest that you pause the video now and make sure

that you know the meaning for all of the words that are highlighted in this answer so that concludes

this video.

I hope that by now you have a better understanding of how all the different components come together

to form a great answer now before I end this video.

I want to make a very important note.

I want you to note that you should never try to force these ingredients into your writing.

If you try to force these ingredients into your writing your writing is going to sound unnatural and

this may also waste your time as you try to think about how to fit the different ingredients into your

answer.

So don’t do that don’t try to force the ingredients into your answer and don’t try to fit the different

ingredients into your answer whenever you use any of these ingredients.

They should come to you naturally.

I’ve only shown you this breakdown to give you a better understanding of how all the different components

work together in a good answer.

But I don’t want you to force these ingredients into your answer so that’s my final note.

We’re going to end this video here.

I’ll see you in the next video in which I’m going to take you through a second example of doing another

practice question in real time and then we’re going to break down that answer as well in the same way

that we’ve broken down our practice question number one in this video.

So I’ll see you there.

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