Breakdown of Practice Question 2

دوره: IELTS Writing Task 1 Academic / فصل: Part 3 - Cooking / درس 4

Breakdown of Practice Question 2

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Welcome back.

Now that you have seen me write the answer to practice question number two we’re now ready to break

down my answer and to look at all the different components that make this a great answer.

So let’s go ahead and break it down.

So here’s our question number two if you need to read this question prompt again.

Then you can simply post a video and do so now.

Here we have a mixed charts question.

So we have a table over here and we have a bar graph over here.

And what we have to do is we have to compare the data between these two different infographics.

You’ll notice that here we have to not only compare the data but we also have to describe the trend

that is occurring over a period of time.

In this case our period of time is from the year 1994 to 1998 so let’s go ahead and start by writing

the introduction so here we’ve highlighted our quashing language in the red color so the text in the

red color describes what our infographics are about.

So what we need to do when writing the introduction is we have to paraphrase this question language

in our own words.

So let’s go ahead and do that.

We’re going to do that by using synonyms and by changing up the word order so let’s take a look at what

we have the given table compares the figures of a cross-sectional study that investigated the reasons

why a hundred thousand UK residents travelled overseas from 1994 to 1998 whereas the given bar chart

demonstrates the countries they visited during this time so let’s take a look at how we’ve paraphrased

our question language here first.

You’ll notice that we replaced first chart with the given table we’ve replaced shows with compares.

Instead of saying results we’ve said figures instead of saying survey we’ve replaced it with cross-sectional

study.

Instead of saying people we have written UK residents we’ve replaced abroad with overseas and we’ve

eliminated the word period and simply stated our period which is from 1994 to 1998 now for our second

info graphic.

Instead of saying second chart we’ve said the given bar graph instead of shows we’ve written demonstrates

notice.

Now we could also use the word compares.

However we don’t want to be repetitive.

We want to use new words to show off our vocabulary now we’ve replaced destinations with the countries

they visited.

And instead of staying over the same period we’ve said during this time so we’ve used a lot of different

synonyms to rephrase this question language for our introduction so that’s all we need to write for

our introduction.

Now let’s move on to breaking down our second paragraph which is our overview now for the overview.

You may recall that we have to look at the highest and the lowest data points in our infographics.

So let’s go ahead and do that here.

You’ll see that this is our low risk data point for our table and this is our highest data point for

our table.

Now if we move down to our bar graph over here you’ll notice that the lowest data point that we have

in this entire bar graph is actually this data point here which is for North America.

Now this data point for North America seems to be exactly the same as our data point for the year nineteen

ninety five.

So if you want You can also include this as the lowest data point.

Now for our highest data point this is the highest data point and it belongs to Western Europe.

So now that we have our highest and lowest data points in both our infographics we’re now ready to break

down our overview.

Now I want to mention one more thing before I show you the paragraph I want you to note that in this

example I have only described the highest and the lowest data points without mentioning the starting

and the ending data points.

OK so I have not mentioned the starting and the ending data points for our graphs over here so I have

not mentioned the starting data point which is the year 1994.

And I’ve also not mentioned the ending data point which is the year 1998 so if you want it’s completely

fine to talk about the highest and the lowest data points for nineteen ninety four and then you can

talk about the highest and the lowest data points for 1998 and then you can talk about the highest and

the lowest data points for 1994 here in our bar graph and then talk about the most popular and the least

popular destinations for travel in 1998 so you can do that if you want.

However I’ve decided to not do that in order to save time.

You see if I was to describe the highest and the lowest it points for 1994 1998 and then for our bar

graph down here I would have a total of eight data points I would have two data points here two data

points here two data points here and two data points here so eight data points is too many data points

to describe in the short amount of time that you have on your child’s exam.

So for that reason instead of talking about the highest and the lowest data points at the beginning

and at the end of our graph I simply decided to look at the highest data point and the lowest data point

in the total number of visits.

Then I looked at the highest data point in our entire bar graph and then I looked at the lowest data

point in our entire bar graph.

So that just makes writing this essay much more easier and much faster because now I only have to describe

four data points so let’s take a look at our overview paragraph.

Now here’s our overview.

In general the year 1998 had the largest volume of visits overseas during which time Western Europe

was the most popular destination.

On the contrary the lowest amount of travelling took place in 1995 during which time North America was

the least popular choice among travelers.

So here we’re saying that in the year 1998 we had the largest amount of visits overseas and during this

time in the year 1998 Western Europe was the most popular destination.

On the contrary.

Now we’re making a comparison.

We’re saying that the lowest amount of traveling took place in the year 1995 during which time North

America was the least popular choice among travelers.

So now that we’ve given some basic information about the data in our infographics our overview is now

complete.

We’re now ready to move on to the specific details so when we’re writing the specific detailed paragraphs

you’ll remember that the first thing we do is we split our info graphic into two halves.

So the easiest way to do this in this example is to talk about the table in paragraph number three and

then we can talk about this bar graph in the fourth paragraph so we’re going to talk about our table

in the third paragraph.

So let’s take a look at it specifically.

Holidays were the most common reason for travel in the given period which started at fifteen thousand

two hundred and forty six visits in 1994 and reached a peak of twenty thousand seven hundred trips by

1998 holidays were followed by business trips and visits to family and friends which started at three

thousand one hundred fifty five and two thousand six hundred eighty nine trips respectively in 1994

and gradually climbed to three thousand nine hundred fifty seven and three thousand one hundred eighty

one trips respectively by nineteen ninety eight.

All right.

So we’ve got a lot of different data points there.

So let’s break this down.

So what we’re saying here in our first sentence is that at the start of our table in the year 1994 holidays

were the most common reason for travel which started at fifteen thousand two hundred and forty six trips

in 1994 and they eventually reached a peak of twenty thousand and seven hundred trips by the year 1998.

So here we are now providing numbers for our highest data point at the start of our graph and we’re

describing its trend over this four year period by the end of foreigners meaning by the end of the year

1998.

Holidays had reached a peak of twenty thousand seven hundred trips now in our second sentence.

We’re saying that holidays were followed by business trips and visits to family and friends.

So we’re describing both of these reasons together we’re saying that holidays were followed by business

trips and business trips were followed by visits to friends and relatives.

And we’re saying that the business trips started at three thousand one hundred fifty five trips in the

year 1994 and gradually climbed to three thousand nine hundred fifty seven by 1998 and visits to friends

and relatives started at two thousand six hundred eighty nine trips in 1994 and gradually climbed to

three thousand one hundred and eighty one trips by the year 1998 now.

Before I move on to our fourth paragraph I want you to notice that in this paragraph we’ve described

every single reason for travel except for other reasons we haven’t talked about this reason.

And I’ve done that because other reasons don’t really seem all that important to me.

So I decided to skip this part to save time.

So now that I’ve described all the important data points in the first half of our info graphic we’re

now going to break down the second half of our info graphic which is our fourth paragraph that we have

written for this bar graph down here regarding destinations Western Europe gradually rose from about

19000 visits in 1994 to a little over 24000 visits by 1998.

On the other hand North America and other regions were the least popular choices that had under 4000

visits each year from 1994 to 1998 so here we’re opening our sentence by saying regarding destinations.

So this is showing the reader that we’re now talking about our next info graphic which has data about

the destinations.

So we’re saying that Western Europe gradually rose from about 19000 visits in 1994 to a little over

24000 visits by 1998.

On the other hand we’re making a comparison now on the other hand North America and other regions were

the least popular choices for every single year starting in the year nineteen ninety four all the way

up to the year 1998 so we’re saying that for every year from 1994 to 1998 North America and other areas

had under 4000 visits every single year so when this sentence instead of estimating the numbers individually

for these destinations I’ve simply made a general statement by saying that these areas had under 4000

visits each year from 1994 to 1998.

So that’s another way in which you can describe the data if you want to save time on the other hand

if you want to go ahead and actually estimate these data points then you can go ahead and do that as

well.

In this case if you were to estimate the data point it would probably be best to estimate the data points

at the beginning of the graph and at the end of our graph.

So now our fourth paragraph is also complete.

And with that our entire task one essay for this practice question number two is finished now.

Before I move on I want you to take note of one more thing I want you to notice that here we haven’t

capitalized R W in the word Western even though Western is capitalized in our graph down here.

So remember that just because something is capitalized in the label doesn’t mean that you should capitalize

it when you’re writing your essay.

You should only capitalize the words that are proper nouns for example.

North America is a proper noun so for that reason we have to capitalize.

North America the last thing that I want you to note about our fourth paragraph is that I have not talked

about every single data point.

OK.

And I’ve done this to save time.

I’ve only talked about the main trends so main trends basically means talking about the highest data

point the lowest data point the beginning of our graph and the end of our graph.

And if you see some other interesting changes that you feel you need to focus on then go ahead and talk

about that as well.

But make sure that you have the time and that you prioritize talking about the key information and talking

about the main trends.

First.

So now we’re finished with breaking down the structure to our answer.

And this is what our entire task one answer looks like.

Here we have our four paragraphs.

Here we have the introduction.

Here’s our overview here’s our third paragraph and here’s our fourth paragraph in this introduction

paragraph.

We have to paraphrase the question language in the overview paragraph.

We have given some basic information about the highest and the lowest data points.

Then in the third paragraph we have started to describe the key numeric details we we’ve described the

number of trips that took place in the first half of our info graphic.

And then in the fourth paragraph we have described the key numeric details for the second half of our

info graphic.

So with that our task one essay is now complete.

Now I want you to note that in this answer we’ve used some soft new words such as about or a little

over and we’ve used these words to avoid overgeneralization.

This means that in order to maintain accuracy whenever you are estimating a number that you see on a

graph or a chart you have to use softer words such as about around approximately nearly a little over

and so on.

The next thing I want you to notice about this answer is the power graphing and the spacing.

Now if you want you can start new paragraphs by inventing your paragraphs meaning that you leave some

space at the beginning of each paragraph before starting your sentence for a new paragraph or you can

simply leave some space between your paragraphs as I’ve done over here.

So now that you have a clear understanding of the structure of an answer to a task one essay I now want

to move on to breaking down the different ingredients in this answer.

So we’re going to start off by first talking about cohesive devices.

So here in this answer all the words and the phrases that are highlighted in the pink color are your

cohesive devices.

So here we’ve used some words such as given or this or that to reference back to some information that

we’ve already discussed in the past.

We’ve also used some discourse markers which are phrases that we use to start a new sentence.

So here we’ve used the phrase in general here we’ve used.

On the contrary to show comparison and so on.

Next you will also notice that we have some coordinating conjunctions as well as subordinating conjunctions

in our answer which glue our ideas together.

And finally we also have relative pronouns which also help to tie our sentences together and to add

fluency to our answer before we move on.

I suggest that you pause the video and take a good look at the different cohesive devices that we’ve

used in our answer we’re now going to move on to our next ingredient which is coordinating conjunctions

So coordinating conjunctions are words such as and but or yet so and so on.

Usually we use coordinating conjunctions to form compound sentences.

However in this answer we haven’t used these coordinating conjunctions to form compound sentences.

However I want you to note that this kind of use of coordinating conjunctions in your answers looks

very good to your examiners and you’re going to score just as many points as if you were to write compound

sentences.

This is a great way to use coordinating conjunctions because they still connect long phrases together

and they help you to form complex structures in your writing.

So definitely use such coordinating conjunctions even when you’re not forming compound sentences.

Next we have subordinating conjunctions.

So here we only have one subordinating conjunction the word whereas and we’ve used this word to form

a complex sentence.

So you may remember that a complex sentence is a sentence in which we have an independent clause and

a dependent clause which are connected together over the subordinating conjunction.

Our next ingredient are the relative pronouns here in the purple.

We have our relative pronouns.

You may remember that relative pronouns are words that we use for two purposes.

The first purpose is to add extra information in your sentence.

The second reason is if you want to clarify or modify the noun that you’re talking about so here we

have what’s called an essential relative pronoun.

This is an essential relative pronoun because it defines the noun that we’re talking about.

It modifies this noun which is study cross-sectional study.

And here we have what’s called a non essential relative clause if you’re not quite sure what these relative

pronouns are and how we use them or if you simply forgotten.

I suggest that you go back and watch the video in which I’ve discussed these relative pronouns in much

more detail.

Now let’s move on to our next ingredient this time we’re talking about voice.

So we have two types of voices in the English language.

We have the active voice and the passive voice.

So everything here that is in the black ink is written in the active voice.

And this little part over here that is highlighted in the brown color is the passive voice so passive

voice is when the verb does the subject whereas in the active voice the subject does the verb if you’re

not quite sure about how to use the different voices in your writing.

I suggest you go back to the video in which I have discussed the active and the passive voice in much

more detail let’s move on to our next ingredient we’re now looking at tenses most of our answer is written

in the past tense.

You’ll notice that the past tense is highlighted in the blue color and the present tense is highlighted

in the green color.

Now the reason why most of our answer is written in the past tense is because our dataset is from the

past.

Our dataset is from the year 1994 to 1998.

So for that reason we’ve described most of our data in the past tense.

Now let’s move on to our next ingredient this time we’re looking at call occasions so you may remember

call occasions are words and phrases that often appear together.

They are essentially chunks of words that fit really well with each other.

And for that reason they are frequently used together with each other so let’s take a look at some of

our call locations here.

Here we have the qualification given period gradually climbed reached a peak all of these are groups

of words that are often used together with each other.

For example we don’t really say get to a peak.

That’s very unnatural.

We say reach a peak or reached a peak so such call occasions are going to improve your score for the

lexical resource category now.

In this answer you’ll notice that some call occasions are quite short whereas other call occasions are

long strings of words that are put together.

So we’ve done this simply because usually when we construct sentences it often happens that words in

a sentence call kit with each other.

So for example in this colonisation here we have words that are called skating with each other.

So one word co-located with the next the next co-located with the one after rate and the one after it

co-located with the word after it.

So therefore we end up getting a long string of words that are all co-located with each other.

We discussed this when I broke down the answer for the practice question number one for you in a previous

video but let me break it down for you one more time.

So here we’re going to break down this string of qualification here.

So in this example you’ll see that we have the word given bar chart given bar chart is a qualification.

Another qualification is chart demonstrates another coloration is demonstrates the country’s another

colonisation is countries they visited.

Another colonization is visited during this time.

So you see what you end up getting when you put all of these different colored occasions together is

a long string of words that all co-located with each other.

And this is a great way to show the examiners that you know how to fit the different words together

to form the meaning that you want to convey now.

Call locations is not something that you can learn by simply memorizing the words and phrases.

This is not really a good way to learn colonisation.

The best way to learn locations is to actually do a lot of reading.

So I suggest that you pick up a book on a subject that you really enjoy and read on that subject so

that you can naturally pick up words that often appear together we’re now going to move on to our final

ingredient which is vocabulary words.

So here in the blue color we have the new vocabulary words and here in the brown color we have words

that have already been used in the question language.

So keep in mind that you’re only going to score points for the vocabulary category by using new words

so I hope that you already know the meaning of all of these vocabulary words that we’ve used in our

answer here.

If you don’t I suggest that you pause the video and look up the definitions of these words so that you

know what they mean.

And so that you can use them in your writing.

So that brings us to the end of this video.

Congratulations on making it this far into the course.

We’re very close to finishing our course now.

We only have one final video left in which I’m going to give you some final tips for your success.

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