5بخش

Grandpa, come on!

Hey, why didn’t you tell us there was no fishing?

You wouldn’t have rented the boat!

Hey!

Stop!

Hold it!

That was so cool.

Yeah, that was.

But breaking the law is wrong.

You know that, right?

Yeah, I know.

Mmm.

Pull over here, Chuck.

I want to show you something, Pete.

So, this house.

This house for sale, I built it.

They changed the color.

I don’t like that.

What do you think?

I like it.

Maybe it’s not so bad.

You know, over the years, if I wasn’t feeling so good, I’d come by, and I’d.

I’d take a look.

I’d see people living in the thing I built, raising families, making lives, and.

I’d feel better.

You feel better now?

Yeah, I do.

Hey, do you want to know a secret?

Yeah.

Come on.

People who build houses usually sign their work, like an artist signs a painting.

Really?

Yeah.

But it’s always hidden.

Yeah.

Some guys sign their name on a rafter.

Others put something under the floorboards, like a newspaper with the date the house was finished.

One guy I knew used to write a poem on the bottom of a toilet before he installed it.

What did you do?

Me?

Well, I always had one of my guys take a picture of me and your grandmother, and then I would seal the picture inside the wall next to the fireplace.

So, there are photos of me and your grandmother inside walls all over this part of the city.

Nobody knows but you.

And now you do.

That’s cool.

Mmm-hmm.

We’ll make an angler out of you yet, kid.

Maybe next time, we can actually find a lake where they let us fish.

Oh, yeah, there are plenty of lakes brimming with bass around here, Pete.

Yeah.

Fat ones, too.

Yeah, whoppers.

Grandpa?

Yeah, Pete.

Thank you for taking me fishing.

I had a really great time.

You’re welcome.

I had a great time, too.

Let’s do it more often.

Yeah.

Sure.

See you at dinner.

That’s good.

You got me.

You got me good.

You’re a dead man.

Oops!

Ow!

That happened.

Not again.

Oops.

That happened.

Okay, so I’m gonna put the Santa hat right here.

Did you put the words in that one?

I’m doing that right now.

“Come celebrate Jennifer’s super fun,”Christmas-theme birthday party.”

Great job.

Like it?

Love it.

Is this seat open?

Thanks, Ed, for coming with me.

These things are never fun to go to alone.

Carl was one of my longtime adventure buddies.

Gonna miss the old hell-raiser.

How did he, you know, uh.

In his sleep.

While skydiving.

Looking good, bro.

So, did you come here alone?

That’s my husband.

Mmm.

Probably need a ride, huh?

Sorry.

Shoot.

What the.

Sorry about this, Carl.

I don’t know this guy.

So, Grandpa, how was that funeral yesterday?

Really nice.

Thanks for asking.

How about you?

Anything exciting happen at school?

No.

Unless you call getting punched in the face by a giant eighth-grader exciting.

Really?

Yep.

What happened?

He was blasted into a giant orangesicle as soon as he opened up my backpack.

It’s so weird, right?

Hello, boys!

Hey, Dad.

Hey.

Let me set this stuff down, and I’ll help you put the lights on the roof there, Ed.

Thanks, Arthur.

I said “Arthur.”

Don’t you two make a nice team.

Jenny’s birthday’s gonna be so exciting.

All that’s left to do is try to find a Santa Claus in early September, and we’ll be golden.

Don’t you worry yourself.

I know Santa personally.

Consider it done.

Aw!

Thanks, Dad.

That’s so sweet.

It’s the least I can do for Jenny.

Mom, before you say no, hear me out.

Can Russell come to Jennifer’s birthday party?

No.

What?

Why?

Peter’s friends get to go.

That reminds me, I invited Jerry and the crew, if that’s okay.

No, that’s great.

And you don’t see how unfair this is?

I hate you!

I don’t want to hear it.

Hey, Peter.

Yeah?

Listen.

You know, in World War I, the Germans and the British put down their weapons on Christmas Eve in favor of celebrating rather than fighting during the holiday.

Hmm.

Your sister’s birthday is a special occasion and should be celebrated.

I guess you’re right.

Okay, then let’s agree.

Temporary armistice for Jenny.

Deal?

Deal.

Please!

Stop it.

Ow!

Cut it out!

You’re hurting me.

“You’re hurting me.

”

That looks like fun.

Yeah, lots of fun.

We like fun, too.

Forgot I had detention today.

Looks like you’re on your own.

I have a question.

Do you know my grandson Peter Decker?

Thought so.

Dumpster.

What?

Wait, wait.

Don’t make this harder than it has to be, kid.

Come on, take your lumps like a man.

Who are you guys?

Come on.

Disciplinary board.

Leave Peter alone, understood?

Whoa!

Ripe.

Not your lucky day, tough guy.

Get him in there.

No!

No!

Don’t.

No!

Nasty!

Get me out of here!

Hello?

Wow!

Merry birthday, sweetheart.

It’s quiet.

Too quiet.

Billy, they agreed.

His grandpa’s not gonna do anything.

If my grandpa makes a move, I’ll be ready.

See that Santa chair?

Yeah.

I booby-trapped it.

Did somebody say “boobies”?

Go away, Steve.

This eggnog tastes funny.

Let me fix it for you.

Ooh!

Hey, everybody!

Guess who’s here!

Ho, ho, ho!

Merry Christmas.

Here comes Santa.

Santa!

Better watch out, better not pout.

I got toys and goodies.

I got everything.

Wait a sec.

That’s not my grandpa.

Ed?

No, thanks.

Got to stay alert.

Just in case.

Kid wouldn’t have the cojones to do anything.

You shook on it.

You never know.

You can’t trust these kids.

Hey, Grandpa.

Hey.

Nice party, huh, pal?

Sure is, buddy.

But I thought you were playing Santa Claus.

Me?

Oh, no, I leave that to the professionals.

Jerry’s been a mall Santa ever since he retired.

That a problem, Pete?

Why would that be a problem?

Just asking.

Hey, you want to get me one of those sodas over there?

Thanks, kiddo.

Kid’s up to something.

I can feel it.

Probably just a coincidence.

Ho, ho, ho!

And what’s your name?

Let me guess.

It wasn’t a name 20 years ago.

Am I right?

Peter?

Dad, what’s up?

You know where Mia is?

She’s supposed to help me with the hot dogs.

Nope.

Well, hey, come on.

I could use your help.

Hey, Grandpa.

What happened to you?

You’re all wet.

Some questions don’t have answers, Pete.

Hey, cookie?

No, it’s okay.

Oh, they’re delicious.

No, it’s really fine.

Especially this one.

I’m good.

You sure?

I’m sure.

Want to help me get some mustard and ketchup on these bad boys and get ‘em out to the kids before they get cold?

Sounds good, Dad.

I’ll do the front row, you do the back?

You’re the boss.

I’m so sorry.

That just slipped.

I swear, I didn’t mean to do that.

What are you gonna do?

Oh, darn.

Bottles must be overly full.

Hey, Dad?

The Christmas lights are on the fritz again.

Could you check on them?

I’m on it.

Yeah, and, Peter, check on the air pump for the bouncy house.

Could be a little bit bouncier.

What the heck is he up to now?

Grandpa!

Dad!

Dad!

Dad?

Are you all right?

I’m okay.

Found a quarter in here.

Peter, we said no pranks.

We shook hands on it, man-to-man.

What happened?

What are you talking about?

Grandpa, I swear, I didn’t do that.

Whoa!

Santa’s dead!

Okay.

I might have did that.

That’s not good.

Danny, Ed, did you see that?

Epic.

Here comes Santa.

Ho, ho, ho.

My franks.

Jerry!

Jerry, you all right?

What happened?

Fire!

Everybody get back!

I got this!

Dad, I’ll get the hose.

Okay.

All right, pull the pin.

Got it.

“Point away from face.

”

I’m blind!

I’m blind!

I got it.

Grandpa, get out of the way!

My Christmas tree.

My Christmas birthday cake.

Oh!

What have we done?