3بخش

What could be worse?

Well, at least I got the bat.

Oh, here she goes again.

Help me, somebody.

Help me.

I’m not supposed to be here.

Help me!

Whoa, sister, relax.

You’re a hunk of wood, not the Hope Diamond.

Do you know who I am?

I am Darlin’, honey.

I’m the Babe’s bat.

Born of a 1000-year-old tree on the side of Mount Olympus.

Struck by lightning, and carved by monks using the horn of a unicorn.

Since when do monks make baseball bats?

Are you calling me a liar?

No, of course not.

In fact, I was made from the hide of Seabiscuit, and stitched together by Betsy Ross!

Screwie was in the Major Leagues, too.

He’d have been a home run ball, if he hadn’t fouled out.

Oh.

Kid, don’t.

A foul ball?

Really?

Well, isn’t that impressive.

I’ve hit thousands of guys that were better than you.

You know, you bats are all prima donnas.

You only come out three or four times a game,carried to the plate and back.

“Oh, don’t let me lay in this dirt.

Where’s my batboy?

Well, here’s what you know.

I don’t need anybody to carry me around.

I can handle myself.

Put me down.

Put me down!

Whoa!

Okay.

So long, farm team.

Excuse me.

Two.

You know something?

If you think I’m rolling all the way to Chicago, you’ve got another thing coming.

You may pick me up.

If, in fact, you’re rescuing me, then I assume that you are returning me to my rightful owner, Mr. Babe Ruth, who, as I’m sure you’re aware, is currently in Chicago playing in the World Series.

You have heard of the World Series, haven’t you, ball?

Oh, yeah, I’ve heard of the World Series.

But we ain’t going to Chicago, we’re going to New York.

New York?

Why?

I just told you Babe is in Chicago.

When Lefty stole you, my dad got fired.

If I take you to New York, then he’ll get his job back.

Oh, no, no, no.

You gotta take me to Babe.

Hey, table leg, don’t put any crazy ideas into his head.

We are not going to Chicago.

We are going to New York.

That’s it.

The baseball has spoken.

But.

I said, “The baseball has spoken.

Fine, that’s all right with me.

I just happen to know that Mr. Babe Ruth is a generous man, and I’m sure he could get your daddy’s job back.

Maybe even with a big raise.

But y’all want to go to New York, we’ll go to New York.

Only you can make that decision.

Oh, Stanley, where could he be?

This is all my fault.

I was too hard on him.

How will we ever find him?

I think it’s time to call the police.

Ouch!

Ouch!

Is that our train?

I don’t think so.

Oh.

I know that smell.

Kid, kid, wake up.

Wake up.

Hey, what do you.

Quiet.

Lefty’s here.

Oh, no.

Get it back some.

Oh, he’s gonna be sorry.

I’ll have a non-fat mochaccino, please.

Quiet, tentpole.

It’s the bad guy.

use his head for batting practice.

Whack, whack, whack, whack, whack.

Babe Ruth, stop hitting yourself.

Seriously, why are you hitting yourself, Babe?

What?

Hello, Mr. Cross, it’s Lefty Maginnis.

Ah!

Lefty.

I’ve been expecting your call for several hours.

From now on, we have to talk in code.

What?

Are you on the way to Cairo?

I thought you wanted me in Chicago.

It’s ode-kay, you idiot-ay!

Do you have our little wooden friend with you?

Yeah, yeah, I’ve got the bat right here.

Listen.

And no one even suspects us.

Us?

Raoul, there is no “us.

If you get caught, I don’t know anything about this.

Absolutamente not.

No, Mr. Cross, I just meant they blamed it on some janitor and his kid.

Get this.

They fired the guy.

We’re.

I mean, I’m in the clear.

So, now that I have the bat I’m pitching in the Series, right?

Not so fast, Raoul.

When you make the delivery, we can discuss your compensation.

Oh, but Mr. Cross.

I look forward to seeing the package.

Oh, what’s wrong, little Babe Ruth bobble-head?

You don’t approve?

You look a little groggy.

Are you?

Well, perhaps you can use a seventh-inning stretch.

Yeah.

Ow.

Wait till I get.

Bottom of the ninth, kid.

Train!

Yankee!

Holy cow!

Mama!

Now, what?

We’re going to Chicago, silly.

We head for New York, right, kid?

I don’t know.

Just let me think.

Why don’t we flip a coin?

Heads, we go to New York.

Tails, we burn the bat.

Now, that was rude and uncalled for.

What’s that?

Wolves?

Wolves?

We’re in Pittsburgh.

Wolves are too scared to come to Pittsburgh.

Oh, kid.

Screwie!

Help!

Help!

Run, Yankee.

Forget him.

Run.

Save me.

Don’t eat me.

You don’t know where I’ve been.

The stench!

I bet even dogs think you have dog breath.

Ow!

Hey.

Screwie.

Screwie.

Remember, protect me at all costs.

All right, all right.

I’m doing the best I can with what I got.

Who are these guys?

I think they’re pirates.

In Pennsylvania?

Pittsburgh Pirates, okay?

Huh?

Sorry.

I was just looking for my ball.

Oh, you mean this?

Whoa.

Hey.

Daisy, easy with that.

Come on, play dead.

Sit, sit.

Oh, for crying out loud.

Don’t worry, she won’t go far.

Not with dinner almost ready.

Louie, I think we have a guest.

Mmm.

This is good.

What’s your name, son?

Yankee Irving, sir.

Yankee?

Yankee Irving.

I like that name.

Hey, kid, it’s a pleasure to meet you.

Hey, hey, quit it, will you?

Hmm.

Mmm.

Are you guys.

Bums?

No.

No, we’re not bums.

I’m a bum.

Yes, Jack’s a bum.

But the rest of us have just fallen on hard times.

Perfect.

Don’t move a muscle, Jack.

For the New York Yankees.

I got it!

Hey, guys, the game is on!

The game.

Babe.

Finally.

Game’s on!

Let’s see if he can pull off a miracle.

Hit it.

You can do it.

Oh, come on, Babe.

It’s switched the defense.

Strike two.

No, no.

Oh, no.

Babe, come on.

I can’t listen to this.

I can’t listen to this.

Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, Babe.

You can do it.

It all comes down to this pitch.

Come on, Babe.

Babe settles into the box.

Come on, Babe.

Come on, Babe.

Here’s the wind up.

Here’s the swing.

Strike three.

Oh, no.

Not again.

Struck out.

Oh, no.

in this fifth game of the World Series.

See, I told you he needed me.

Babe’s never struck out this many times.

I should’ve returned you by now.

This is all my fault.

Hey, buck up, Yankee.

There’s always another game tomorrow.

And the Babe, the Babe always bounces back.

Oh, come on, son.

Babe’s got a big old heart.

He won’t let us down.

Look, when Babe was a kid, he had nothing.

Then he picks up a bat, he starts swinging, look where it got him.

If Babe can do it, so can we.

Hey, guys, you hear that?

That’s the 10:15 Manhattan Express headed straight for New York.

All right, let’s pack it up.

We’re moving out.

It’s about time.

Whoa!

Come on, Daisy.

Come on.

That’s it.

Yankee!

Come on, kid.

Come on, Yankee!

Grab on!

Yankee, come on!

Come on, son!

Yankee, come on, run.

Keep running.

No, keep running.

Keep on running.

Why is he not running?

I don’t know.

Sorry, guys, I can’t go.

I’ve got to give Babe his bat back.

What did he say?

He said he’s going to get his backpack.

Bye.

Yankee, what’re you doing?

You heard those guys.

Babe’s their hero.

Babe’s everyone’s hero, and I can’t let them down, and I can’t let my dad down.

We’re going to Chicago.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

I knew you were gonna see this my way.

This is great.

We had a deal, Yankee.

And you, you rotten two-by-four, this is all your fault.

You tricked him.

You messed everything up.

Face it, leather face, you’re beat.

Fine, I can’t trust you.

I’ll go back to New York on my own.

Whoa!

Yankee!

I guess a couple of days in Chicago couldn’t hurt.

I’ve been curious about their deep-dish pizza, but after that I’m heading back to the Big Apple.

You know, I was just a splinter when I first read about it.

So after Babe and I were presented to the court, the Queen invited us to try our hand at an English sport.

And there was this cheeky cricket bat who kept trying to look down my tape and I.

Why are we stopping?

‘Cause I’m tired and hungry.

You guys ever eat?

No.

I’ve got to maintain this very trim figure.

Trim?

Ha!

From where I’m sitting, I see lots of grain.

Are you saying I’m plump?

I’m saying you’re fat, bat.

Excuse me, I have been examined by scientists around the world, who can’t figure out how I can look this good and swing so well.

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Have these scientists done research about your big mouth?

Can you say the same, Scarface?

I’m not gonna sit here and listen to this.

I don’t think so.

Hey, look, a baseball.

Hey, look, the missing link.

Put me down.

Hey.

Give him back.

Him?

What did you do?

Name it?

What’s he got?

A little bed or something?

Do you dress him up?

Give him back.

Give him back.

Hey, Yankee.

Help!

Oh, let him have him, Yankee.

All he does is complain anyway.

We can find a ball with a better attitude.

Like a tennis ball.

They’re all warm and fuzzy.

You, give him back that ball!

Get lost, Marti.

Take that!

Yeah, mind your own business.

Hey, kid, you gonna let a girl fight for you?

No.

But I’ll let her help.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Let’s get your ball back.

Looks like we’re fighting two girls.

Ow.

You got him right in the head.

The kid’s not even ducking.

Watch out.

You gotta start dodging these apples.

I’m trying.

No, you’re not.

Don’t look where they’re going.

You gotta watch where they’re starting from.

Yeah, that’s it.

Okay.

What’re you looking at me for?

Watch the apples.

Don’t you make me break out my whuppin’ stick.

Incoming!

I’ve been hit.

I feel like a Danish.

Come on.

Ow