4بخش

Let’s hear some fills.

We got Buddy Rich here.

A little trouble there.

Just pick it up at 17.

Ready?

Five, six, and.

Not quite my tempo.

Here we go.

Five, six, and.

Downbeat on 18.

Okay?

Here we go.

Five, six, and.

Bar 17, the and of four.

Got it?

Five, six, seven.

Not quite my tempo.

It’s all good.

No worries.

Here we go.

Five, six, seven.

You’re rushing.

Here we go.

Five.

Ready?

Okay.

Five, six, and.

Dragging just a hair.

Wait for my cue.

Five, six, seven.

Rushing.

Five, six, and.

Dragging.

Five, six, and.

Why do you suppose I just hurled a chair at your head, Neiman?

I don’t know.

Sure you do.

The tempo?

Were you rushing or dragging?

I don’t know.

Start counting.

Five, six, seven.

In four, damn it.

Look at me.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three.

Now, was I rushing or was I dragging?

I don’t know.

Count again.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

Rushing or dragging?

Rushing.

So you do know the difference.

If you deliberately sabotage my band, I will ** you like a pig.

Now, are you a rusher, or are you a dragger, or are you gonna be on my **ing time?

I’m gonna be on your time.

What does that say?

“Quarter note equals 215.”

Count me a 215.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

Jesus Christ.

I didn’t know they allowed retards.

Am I to understand that you cannot read tempo?

Can you even read music?

What’s that?

Eighth note.

Yes.

What is that?

Dotted 16th note.

Sight-read measure 101.

What, are you in a **ing a cappella group?

Play the goddamn kit.

Stop.

Now answer my question.

Were you rushing or were you dragging?

Answer!

Rushing.

Oh, my dear God.

Are you one of those single-tear people?

Do I look like a double **ing rainbow to you?

You must be upset.

Are you upset?

No.

No?

So you just don’t give a shit?

I do give a shit. So are you upset?

Yes or **ing no?

Yes, you are upset.

Yeah.

Say it.

I’m upset.

Say it so the whole band can hear you.

I’m upset.

Louder.

I’m upset.

Louder!

I’m upset.

You are a worthless, friendless, faggot-lipped piece of shit, whose Mommy left Daddy when she figured out he wasn’t Eugene O’Neill.

Who’s now weeping and slobbering all over my drum set like a **ing 9-year-old girl.

So for the final father**ing time, say it louder! I’m upset!

Carl.

Start practicing harder, Neiman.

“Whiplash,” bar 125.

Big-boy tempo.

Five, six, and.

This place is nice.

Yeah.

I really like the music that they play.

Mm.

I mean, the food’s good too, but.

No, the pizza’s really good.

“When I Wake.”

What?

That’s the name of the song.

Oh. Ha, ha.

Jackie Hill, July 17th, 1938.

Bob Ellis on the drums.

Every time I saw you at the theater, your eyes were glued to the floor.

Really?

Oh; Mm-hm.

My dad says that I have.

I have trouble making eye contact.

My parents like to criticize me too.

Growing up, my mom said I had a really big chin, that’s why guys wouldn’t like me.

Really?

Yeah.

You don’t.

Well, she said my dad cursed me with one.

It’s like Jay Leno. Look.

No, it’s not.

Yeah, it is.

I don’t. I don’t think so at all.

Well, that’s nice.

Your chin’s very nice.

Very nice.

Your mom sounds insane.

She did wanna be an actress when she was my age.

What about you?

What about me?

What do you do?

I go to Fordham.

What do you study?

I don’t have a major yet.

But, like, what do you want to study?

I don’t really know.

I don’t know yet.

So Fordham was just like a random school?

No, I applied to a bunch of schools, Fordham let me in.

Why’d you pick Shaffer?

It’s the best music school in the country.

Well, Fordham was Fordham.