5بخش

I don’t love it there, to be honest.

No? No.

I.

I don’t know.

I guess it’s just the people; I don’t know if they like me very much.

I’m from Arizona, and I think they can see it.

I feel the same about people at Shaffer.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

I don’t think they like me too much.

But I don’t.

I don’t.

I don’t care too much.

I think it just.

It changes.

You know, people change and things work out.

No, no, I know, I know.

I just.

I feel really homesick sometimes.

I don’t know.

It kind of pisses me off when people pretend like they’re not.

In college, you know?

Maybe I’m literally the only one, I don’t know.

I still go to the movies with my dad.

Hey.

How are you, man?

Good to see you.

And please, is this really Eva?

Wow.

Last time I saw you, you were very tiny.

Are you playing an instrument yet?

She started piano last week.

When you’re a big college kid, will you come play in my band?

Would you like that?

Be my piano player?

Excellent.

Give me five, baby.

All right.

Great to see you.

Great seeing you.

See you after the show.

All right.

Absolutely.

All right.

Cheers.

Listen up, Cocksuckers.

Hurry the ** up.

Get your music.

“Irene” only.

Set one.

Rhythm section out first.

The kit is a **ing tonal catastrophe.

Get it in tune, all right?

Rhythm and soloists, bar 45.

We’re gonna pick up the tempo.

All right.

Bar 106, brass, do not forget we sharp that ninth.

Everybody remember, Lincoln Center use these competitions to decide who they’re interested in and who they’re not.

I’m not gonna have my reputation in that department tarnished by a bunch of limp-dick, sour-note, flatter-than-their-girlfriends, flexible-tempo dipshits.

Got it?

One more thing.

Eugene Give me that.

If I ever find one of these lying around again, I swear to **ing God, I will stop being so polite.

Get the ** out of my sight before I demolish you.

Stage right, in order, now.

I can still **ing see you, Mini-Me!

Let’s go. Hurry the ** up. Let’s go.

The Shaffer Conservatory Studio Band.

Hold on to this for the second set.

He’s dumb but he’s not stupid.

At the end of the day, he wants a career, as dumb as he is.

Fudd has a chance of getting put back in, so why would he jeopardize that?

I need to look at the music.

It’s right here.

Why isn’t it on you?

Where’s the folder?

You’re joking.

I’m not

You’re **ing around?

No, I

I swear I had it here two seconds ago.

It’s gotta be around here.

Did you see.?

How could you be so **ing stupid?

I know.

Maybe a janitor came by.

A janitor?

Find the **ing folder!

A **ing janitor?

You’re a dumb **!

A dumb **!

Find the folder!

Okay, I’m sorry.

Tanner!

Jesus **ing Christ, where have you been?

Uh, we have an issue.

Okay, now is not the time.

I gave Neiman the folder and Neiman lost it.

Neiman lost it.

Yes, sir.

The folder was your responsibility.

Why would you give it to Neiman?

Right?

Give a calculator to a retard, he’s gonna turn on a TV with it.

Get your sticks, get your ass on-stage.

I, I can’t.

You can’t?

I, I can’t go on-stage.

I don’t know the charts by heart.

Are you **ing kidding me?

I.

You know this.

I need the music.

It’s my memory, I need visual cues.

Visual cues.

Yes. It’s a medical.

A medical condition?

What, are you Sanjay Gupta?

Play the goddamn music.

I can’t.

I can.

You know “Whiplash” by heart?

Yes.

Every measure.

All right.

Well, you better **ing hope your memory doesn’t fail you.

I hope you play it a lot better than you did last month.

Because I do not intend to start losing.

Get your sticks and get your ass on-stage.

On-stage!

And in first place,

Shaffer Conservatory.

Hey.

Don’t **ing touch my folder, man.

Do not touch this kit.

All right, let’s get to work, ladies.

Tanner, what you doing?

It’s core only.

I don’t have time for alternates.

“Cherokee.”

From the top.

Tanner, are you a **ing statue?

Let’s go.

Get off the stool.

Don’t forget to turn Neiman’s pages.

Here we go.

One, two, three, four.

Two, two, three, four.