3بخش

She liked my window, Jasper.

She liked my window!

I’m happy for you.

It’s all thanks to you.

No.

So this was the angle, then?

CRUELLA: It’s funny how those happy accidents can change the whole direction of your life.

Although, looking back, “happy” may be the wrong word.

Ah, you.

Quickly, come on!

Right, okay.

Come along.

Up here.

Silence!

My last show was a triumph.

Shall I read to you from Tattletale?

“Baroness designs stunned with her reinvention of the A-line “with a bias cut and higher line that reshapes the silhouette in such an audacious way “the audience broke into rapturous applause at first sight.

“She really is a genius.”

I’ll read that bit again, shall I?

“She really is a genius.”

A triumph.

Take a moment to revel in it.

Oh, that’s enough.

New show.

We must be perfect.

Now go.

Window girl.

Grab a mannequin, some fabric, and throw something together.

The Baroness needs looks.

Looks.

Right.

It’s foolish.

Unhinged.

Well, you’re fired.

Pasty, pasty, pasty.

Hmm.

Why are you speaking?

I think you nicked me.

Just.

Fabrics!

Can you get me a red like that?

Oh.

Welcome to Second Time Around, I’m Artie or Art, as in “work of.”

Wow!

You look incredible.

I hear that all day, so I guess it’s true.

How does that look go on the streets?

Mmm, some abuse and insults, of course.

But I like to say that normal is the cruelest insult of them all and at least I never get that.

I couldn’t agree more.

Look around, Cinderella.

I have everything a girl or boy could ever want.

If you can dream it, I can dress it.

Dior, 1955, amazing.

Chanel, 1950.

Spring collection.

Ah, you know your gowns.

You and I are going to be very good friends, Artie.

Baroness, ‘65, in the window.

Winter collection.

I noticed that.

Grubby girl, get me lunch.

Soy salmon, lemon-zest risotto, cucumber sliced into two-inch diagonals at an eighth of an inch width sprinkled with seven leaves of parsley, shredded, not torn.

Right.

As the department stores that stock your range, we thought perhaps we could give you some input.

Feedback.

Oh, great.

I’ll start, shall I?

My feedback.

You’re short, you’re fat, you smell like an anchovy, you’re color-blind, but you pretend you aren’t.

You’re a man who can’t take responsibility.

Your revenues are down 15%, your foot traffic by 12 and a half.

Yes, I do my own research.

Your store hasn’t been refurbished since the Blitz.

People don’t know whether to buy a frock or duck and cover.

And most of the funds meant for refurbs are being embezzled by you, stashing them in Swiss bank account number 32254766 to be precise.

That’s me.

Your turn.

I’m all ears.

Good day.

Imbeciles.

Lunch, now.

Oh.

Finally, someone competent.

Whoa!

And someone not.

This is my lawyer, Roger.

Although he spends most of his time playing piano in a dingy little bar, actually, he’s a good lawyer.

Hi.

Hi.

Piano’s nice.

Yes.

Time for my nine-minute power nap.

Box up my lunch, Estella.

It could do with a lining.

You could use tulle to puff it out, give it some body.

That’s what I just said.

Baroness.

Keep up, Estella.

Jewels.

And, Estella, make the bodice pencil thin.

Estella, did you make it pencil thin?

All right, how do I look?

Fabulous.

Well, I know that.

Show me.

Mmm.

How would you have done it?

Hmm.

I think you’re.

something.

Come along.

I made this.

The Baroness said she thinks I’m something.

I think that’s good.

Everything’s going so well, Mum.

I’m really trying to be the Estella that you wanted.

Mostly.

It’s working.

I just wish you were here to see it.

There’s something about it that irritates me and I always trust my instincts.

I thought maybe if you tighten the silhouette.

Oh, you thought, did you?

I think it’s better.

Actually, it is.

Your necklace.

Oh.

Family heirloom.

Funny story, actually.

An employee once stole it.

No, she did not.

Sorry.

Slight tone delivery problem.

I meant.

“No. She did not.”

Did she work for you?

Mmm.

Once.

Years before.

She stole this, was stupid enough to come back and then she fell off a cliff and died.

How terrible.

Yes, it was, actually.

It was during my winter ball and her death really overshadowed the whole thing.

Time for my nine-minute power nap.

Who was the woman?

Not really the point of the story.

The story’s about how lucky I am, but anyway, she had a kid.

Kid’s a snowflake.

Special, blah-blah-blah.

It was a basic shakedown situation actually.

Maybe she.

Maybe she just really loved her kid.

Maybe she only had one person to take care of and she failed dismally.

Speak.

Baroness, we have that meeting at the Ritz.

Oh, for heaven’s sakes.

Necklace.

Roger, shoes.

Don’t touch the ankle.

ROGER: Yes, sorry.

It’s in.

BARONESS: Come along.

CRUELLA: My mother hadn’t failed dismally, I had.

And I wasn’t going to fail her again.

Told you, she always comes here.

Oi.

You all right?

She called my mum a thief.

Said she failed as a mother.

What?

Your mum?

She knew your actual mum?

Yeah, it turns out that was her party we were at.

Mum worked for her once.

I dropped the necklace as I was running away.

She must’ve found it.

It’s mine.

So I’m taking it back.

Taking it, as in.

Stealing it.

Yeah.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the angle.

Her Black and White Ball, that’s where we’ll do it.

It’s our biggest job ever.

Oi, Horace, attention.

We need to know their security setup.

Power nap, nine minutes.

Where the cameras are.

Where the guards are posted.

And what the schedules are.

We need to know every detail and every blind spot.

Okay, the toilet’s just on the left, and then go straight down to the end.

Thanks.

Then, all we need to do is disable the security system, bypass the cameras, open the safe, steal the necklace during the biggest party of the season.

So many people, her security will be stretched to the limit and just to be sure, a distraction, where I get the key to the keypad and safe.

Right, so what is the distraction?

I’ve discovered she likes to throw women who offend her sensibilities out of her parties.

Old women.

Women in gold.

Ow!

Sad women.

Women who carry poodles.

But also stunningly dressed women who pull the focus off of her.

What about one of the elderly broads?

Me, Horace.

I will be the distraction.

All right.

Besides, wreaking havoc at galas is my personal specialty.

Well, I don’t know about that.

But here’s a problem.

Won’t she recognize you?

That’s a good point.

I guess.

And when that happens, won’t you lose your job?

It’s not on the board.

A job I think you love.

Are you thinking?

I mean, she sees you’re talented, right?

Yes.

Yes.

Well, maybe.

Maybe you don’t need the necklace.

Maybe.

Mate, come on!

It’s the angle.

It’s just a necklace.

I want it back!