7بخش

I can assure you it’s been, uh, thoroughly bleached.

May I show you something?

I didn’t know it had a key.

Mmm-hmm.

What’s it to?

This.

The Baroness has a kid?

You.

May I walk you through it?

The Baron was a sweet old guy.

The Baroness, on the other hand, she’s a true narcissist.

So when she found out she was pregnant.

I’m pregnant.

she wasn’t exactly thrilled.

The Baron was delighted.

So much so that he surprised her by giving her a family heirloom.

She took the necklace, but she had other plans for you.

Stop.

You keep saying “you.”

You are her daughter.

I was there when you were born.

The Baron was away on business, and she ordered me to do the unthinkable.

You know what to do.

It was a diabolical request.

I knew I needed to protect you.

But how?

Then I saw Catherine, the sweetest woman who ever lived.

She saved you.

The Baroness said the child had died.

The Baron, he, uh, wasted away.

The point I’m making is, you are the rightful heir to the Baron’s entire fortune.

The mansion, the title.

Everything.

That psycho cannot be my mother.

No.

Oi!

So this is a confusing day.

My nemesis is my real mother and she killed my other mother.

I guess you were always scared, weren’t you, that I’d be a psycho like my real mum?

Hmm?

That explains all the “tone it down, try and fit in” stuff.

Love me into shape, I suppose, was the plan.

And I tried.

I really, I tried becauseI loved you.

But the thing is.

I’m not sweet Estella, try as I might.

I never was.

I’m Cruella, born brilliant, born bad and a little bit mad.

I am not like her.

I’m better.

Anyway, must dash.

Much to avenge, revenge and destroy.

But I do love you.

Always.

The boys are locked up, but we have a problem.

I don’t pay you for problems.

We didn’t find her body.

What are you talking about?

It’s on the TV, the radio.

Well, someone tipped them off and gave them the wrong tip.

Thank you for your time.

Incompetent as always.

You’re in the way.

I still can’t believe she’s dead.

Pull it together, H.

You can’t cry in prison.

Yeah.

Let’s just remember Estella.

Estella.

Estella.

No crying.

Forget Cruella.

Shh!

Did you hear that?

I heard something.

Oi, come here!

Stay behind and keep an eye on the prisoners!

What?

Hey.

Wink!

Shh!

Wink!

You ain’t barbecued!

What in the bloody.

Thank you.

You’re getting kissed right on the mouth!

I don’t care where it’s been!

Want a ride?

Yeah, we’ll walk, thanks.

You’re alive!

Oi!

Yeah, I’ve had enough of being treated like a dog, thank you.

No offense, Wink.

You’ll get caught by the cops.

We did fine before you showed up, we’ll do fine without you.

Yeah, exactly.

I fancy a fry-up.

Yeah, I fancy a fry-up without her.

Yeah, me too.

There’s no easy way to say this.

The Baroness is my birth mother.

You just blew my mind.

It does explain a lot.

She gave me away to die.

And then killed the sweetest woman, albeit a liar, who ever lived.

Well, thank you for the crumpets and the crazy story.

Good luck with that.

I might take a few of these.

Jasper!

We’re in a kill-or-be-killed situation here.

Yeah, and she’s a homicidal maniac, and you’re not.

Well, we don’t know that yet.

I’m still young.

It’s funny.

Or it would be, if I knew you were being funny.

No, not funny.

I’m joking, I’m joking!

The point is, I can’t run.

She’ll find me, Jasper.

You know she will.

We have to stop her.

I went a bit mad.

I’m sorry.

You’re my family.

You’re all I have.

She used the family card.

Yeah, she did.

It’s working.

Yeah.

All right, fine.

So what’s the plan?

The Baroness’ charity gala is this weekend.

We’re going to need the home addresses and measurements of all the guests.

Easy.

Artie’s tribe of dressmakers, of course.

I like him.

A black cape, pots of paint.

Oh, yeah?

Several boned corsets.

Should we write this down?

I’m sorry.

I didn’t realize there’d be company.

John, this is my family.

They’ll be staying a while.

Hiya.

You’re out of crumpets.

We’re closed.

I was just reading about you, the puppy killer.

Oh, well, I do love spots.

You didn’t.

I didn’t.

But people do need a villain to believe in, so I’m happy to fit the bill.

Fabulous.

Small point, aren’t you dead?

I am.

Yes.

Sad, really.

But also helpful.

Now, Artie, I have a plan.

Of course you do.

And you’re going to help me with it.

Mmm.

What do I get?

A night of fabulousness and mayhem and possible death.

Check, check, not quite sure about the death though.

It won’t be you.

Mmm.

I’ll get my coat.

WOMAN: For me?

Heya.

Sorry.

Big night.

Indeed it is.

Sure about this?

No, I’m being serious.

And you’re cute when you are.

Okay.