4بخش

Pesky kids with their cell phones, burning up the ozone.

That’s what this is.

What the.

Ugh!

I just knew something like this was going to happen tonight.

You did?

Wow.

Because that zombie bit really threw me.

Why do you have to go and get everyone involved in all your weird stuff?

Well, you weren’t supposed to follow me, were you?

Sorry, my fault.

When I’m nervous, I get mouth diarrhea.

Whoa!

Diarrhea!

Oh, my gosh!

I think I’m having an aneurysm.

Oh, this is so typical of you!

No.

You don’t understand.

I’m the only one who can stop this, Courtney!

Oh, I understand.

I understand that this is all getting completely out of.

Hand!

Ah!

What do we do?

What do we do?

Mitch!

I don’t know!

I don’t know!

You’re the oldest.

Not mentally!

Oh, great, the cops.

Pull over the vehicle!

Norman!

How do we stop them?

I’m supposed to read from the book at the witch’s grave.

We’ve got to go back to the graveyard?

She wasn’t buried with the others.

I don’t know where else to look!

Well, you better think of something, quick!

Oh, I have an idea!

So, Norman, let me get this straight.

You guys all go on this big supernatural adventure, and you’re calling me in the middle of the night because you need someone to help you do your homework?

Uh, yeah.

We need to find out where the witch is buried!

Oh, no!

I went to the old graveyard, but her grave wasn’t there.

Well, duh.

People found guilty of witchcraft weren’t considered people any more.

Norman, your witch was buried someplace else.

In an unmarked grave.

Mitch, do something!

If you cared to pay attention some of the time, you would know that we covered this in fifth-grade history class.

Salma!

Please hurry!

Oh, no!

I would Google this myself if there wasn’t a 300-year-old dead guy trying to rip my face off.

Okay, okay.

It says here she was tried in the old town hall on Main Street.

There may be a record of her execution and burial in the archives.

Quick!

She said, “Go to the town hall!

Oh, my goodness!

I really think it might help if you tried to see things from his point of view.

I don’t want to.

Perry, not believing in the afterlife is like not believing in astrology.

I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Seriously.

Where did you learn that?

Calm down.

Delinquent drivers!

Where are the police when you need them?

Oh, my gosh.

I broke a nail.

I’m going to be sick.

Yeah!

Alvin the zombie slayer!

I got you!

Ow!

Ow!

Ooh!

Baby, I’m so sorry.

You’ll be all right.

We’re going to get through this together.

Uh-oh.

Come on!

Oh, yeah!

Perfect.

Now the geeks are in charge.

Booyah!

See?

I told you!

Zombies!

It’s the witch’s curse!

Mama?

What?

What should we do?

Kill ‘em in the head!

Yeah!

Hurry!

This way!

Oh, this is awful!

The zombies are, like, eating everyone!

Come on!

Is everyone all right?

Nobody got bitten?

I bit my tongue.

Does that count?

Does anyone know how to pick a lock?

Sure.

Picking locks is my thing.

Boom.

This is it!

This is?

Now we can find out where the witch was buried.

Uh-oh.

Whoa.

Great.

I’m super-psyched.

This is turning into the most fun night ever!

Man!

Zombies take over the world and we lock ourselves in a library!

Are you kidding me?

There’s an adult video store just across the street.

This will be a piece of cake, you’ll see.

Page one.

Okay, page one.

I really hate these places.

Come on.

Feel it, push yourself.

That’s not it.

Time is running out.

Ain’t room for no more zombies in this town!

Yeah!

Huh?

Oh!

Ya-ha-hoo!

It would have been a quiet night, too,if it hadn’t been for those meddling kids.

Hmm!

Sweet baby jinkies!

What do you think you’re doing, firing at civilians?

That is for the police to do!

Oh, no, no, no, it’s okay, Sheriff.

We’ve only been shooting at the dead ones.

It’s the living dead, come to take us all to hell!

We’ve got to stop them before they get away!

Move along now, people!

There isn’t anything to see here!

I saw them!

I saw them!

They’re in the town hall!

Cry “Havoc,” and let slip the dogs of war!

Let’s rip ‘em apart!

We’re not going to find it in here, Norman.

This is useless!

Yeah, I know, and it’s also really boring.

I thought I was driving the van.

No one told me I was going to have to do this other dumb stuff.

If I had known there was so much reading involved, I would have brought a completely different group of people who hate me.

Yes!

Book number one, finished!

That is right.

Twenty-six pages.

Oh, yeah!

I can’t believe this is your plan.

I’m going to get bitten and start eating people’s brains.

I’m supposed to be vegan!

There’s something moving out there.

I think it’s the zombies.

Hide!

Oh, no, it’s not.

It’s just grown-ups.

Hide!

That sound.

Do you know what that is?

That’s not awesome things.

Guys, come on!

Just give it up, you wiener.

No, we have to keep trying.

Uh!

We tried, and look what happened.

I’m scared, Norman, and I can’t listen to this any more.

You never listen.

No one ever listens!

I’m scared, too, but I’ve still got to do this.

I do too listen!

And whatever it was you just said, it’s not working.

You think you’re going to go out there, do your “talking to the dead” thing, and this is all going to be okay?

What are you going to do?

Huh?

Ask the zombies not to eat you?

I should have known you wouldn’t understand.

No one ever does!

Norman, you need to stop all this weird stuff, and start living in the real world.

Everyone in the real world thinks I’m a freak!

And you know what?

Maybe they’re right.

Maybe I am a freak.

But I never asked for your help!

Just go!

Get out!

Jeez, that was dramatic.

Ugh!

Come on!

I’m not going anywhere.

You can’t make me.

Oh!

Dude, you’re really heavy.

I’m not speaking to you.

You can’t make me.

Um, excuse me!

Hello?

They’re in there, all right.

I can feel its clammy flesh!

Hello?

Help!

Somebody, help me!

Let’s burn them out!

We’re all going to die!

Oh, my gosh.

Do you think this has got anything to do with Norman?

Of course not.

Everyone, look!

Perry, do something!

Norman!

Get down from there this instant!

You’re supposed to be grounded!

You horrible old witch!

Is this what you want?

Necromancer!

This is all his doing!

Norman!

“Once upon a time, in a far-off land, there lived a king and a queen in a magnificent castle.

Why won’t you listen to me?

Why are you doing this?