درس 06

I mean, what am I capable of?

I’d like to think that I’m a nice person, But I don’t know, man.

A lot of it is context.

There’s a lot of things I wonder if the world was different.

Like, if murder was legal, I might have killed a few people.

I don’t know.

I’d love to think, “oh, I would never do that,”

But we really need the law against murder for one simple reason.

The law against murder Is the number-one thing preventing murder.

We’d like to think it’s ‘cause, Like, “oh, I would never do that”.

No. It’s ‘cause it really sucks getting caught murdering, a lot.

If murder was legal, or just a misdemeanor like you get a thing in the mail–

“oh, sh@t, they had a camera there.

Oh, well”.

If murder was legal, there would be so much murder.

Regular people would murder.

Murderers would murder even more, And then really nice, sweet people Would murder a few people, But nobody would murder no people.

You wouldn’t trust somebody who didn’t murder If murder was legal.

You wouldn’t like them.

“I never killed anybody”.

“ok. Nice meeting you.

Yecch, what a creep.

“I mean, not even a hooker?

Live a life “what’s wrong with that guy?

He’s like a Mormon or some sh@t.

I hate those guys”.

“I think he’s nice”.

“shut up, janet”.

They would justو If murder was legal, there would be a lot of murder.

Children would behave very differently

Because mostly parents would be murdering their own kids, That’s mostly what would happen if murder was legal.

You know, you’d go to a mall, there’d be, Like eight, different moms in the mall just “I told you to stop it!

You didn’t listen to me!”

Just–pbbt!

There’d be just You’d be stepping over dead kids.

There’d be, like, a new problem.

“you have to clean up your kids “when you kill them ‘cause it’s gross”. it’s bad for the environment”. if you murder your child in a public place,” please use one of the red bags that are in the dispensers “every three feet of America.

“put your murdered child in the red bag with a logo of a murdered kid on it, next to the other logo that tells you, not to let your alive kid play with the plastic bag, because they might suffocate, In which case you could just leave them in the bag”.

That is a whole bunch of horrible thoughts Right in a row, right in a row.

That is a compressed area of bad thought.

You know, you have your bad thoughts.

Hopefully you do good things.

Everybody has a competition in their brain of good thoughts and bad thoughts.

Hopefully, the good thoughts win.

For me, I always have both.

I have, like, the thing I believe, the good thing that’s the thing I believe and then there’s this thing, And I don’t believe it, but it is there.

It’s always this thing and then this thing.

It’s become a category in my brain that I call, “of course.

But maybe”.

I’ll give you an example, ok?

Like, of course children who have nut allergies Need to be protected, of course.

We have to segregate their food from nuts, Have their medication available at all times,

And anybody who manufactures or serves food needs to be aware of deadly nut allergies, of course, But maybe.

Maybe if touching a nut kills you,

You’re supposed to die.

Of course not.

Of course not. Of course not.

Jesus.

I have a nephew who has that.

I’d be devastated if something happened to him, But maybe.

Maybe if we all just do this for one year, We’re done with nut allergies forever.

No. Of course not.

Of course, if you’re fighting for your country

And you get shot or hurt, it’s a terrible tragedy, Of course, of course.

But maybe.

Maybe if you pick up a gun and go to another country And you get shot, it’s not that weird.

Maybe if you get shot by the dude you were just shooting at, It’s a tiny bit your fault.

Of course, of course slavery Is the worst thing that ever happened.

Listen, listen.

You all clapped for dead kids with the nuts.

For kids dying from nuts, you applauded,

So you’re in this with me now.

Do you understand?

You don’t get to cherry-pick.

Those kids did nothing to you.

Of course, of course slavery Is the worst thing that ever happened.

Of course it is, every time it’s happened Black people in America, Jews in Egypt.

Every time a whole race of people has been enslaved, It’s a terrible, horrible thing, of course.

But maybe.

Maybe every incredible human achievement in history Was done with slaves.

Every single thing where you go, “how did they build those pyramids?”

They just threw human death and suffering at them Until they were finished.

How did we traverse the nation with the railroad so quickly?

We just threw chinese people in caves and blew ‘em up And didn’t give a sh@t what happened to them.

There’s no end to what you can do when you don’t give a fu@k about particular people.

You can do anything.

That’s where human greatness comes from, Is that we’re sh@tty people, that we fu@k others over.

Even today, how do we have this amazing microtechnology?

Because the factory where they’re making these, They jump off the fu@king roof ‘cause it’s a nightmare in there.

You really have a choice.

You can have candles and horses And be a little kinder to each other or let someone suffer immeasurably far away Just so you can leave a mean comment on YouTube While you’re taking a sh@t.

Thanks a lot, folks.

You guys were great.

Thank you very, very much.

Thank you.