Be-YOU-ty over beauty!

First of all, I’d like to ask you a question. What is beauty? Beauty is a single word, but we use it to describe a billion different things. And it’s this universal concept that is totally subjective. How would you determine if something else is beautiful? What does it mean when something isn’t beautiful? Wait, where are my manners? A very good evening to the beautiful ladies and most certainly handsome gentlemen, fellow TED speakers, and everyone present today. Throughout our lives, we are surrounded by a cacophony of noise telling us what we should do, how we should act, and who we should be. Not convinced? Long hair, a fair complexion, sexy eyes, luscious lips, perky breasts, a small waist, a flat stomach, a shapely bum, long legs, finally finishing with a symmetrical body completes the ideal look of physically perfect woman. However, if I were to tell you that these stereotypes only apply to women, I would be lying. His hair is a stylish chaos, the eyes, deep and captivating, the jawline, masculine and chiseled, broad shoulders, chest muscles, six-pack abs, rippling biceps, a wide back, oh, and he must be six feet and above. From the broad chest of Superman to the tiny waists of Disney princesses, our perception of beauty has been so greatly influenced by the media that we subconsciously accept these requirements as being true and just. Therefore, nowadays people are boycotted, isolated, discriminated, even, because they are thought of as ugly, or different, for that matter. And that’s why in the pursuit of beauty, people tend to go overboard and finally become something they’re not. Twelve years ago, The Swan took the world by storm, being described as Jennifer Pozner as the most sadistic reality show of the decade. Now, The Swan is a 2004 American reality television program in which women who were judged to be ugly were given extreme makeovers to fulfill their greatest fantasies. Contestants collectively received more than 4 million dollars worth of treatment including tummy tucks, breast augmentations, rhinoplasty, jaw and nose reconstruction, laser hair removals, I’m just saying This is an extremely complicated and time-consuming process, not to mention the agonizing physical pain these people have to endure over two months. Some of them were happy. That’s good. But for some, relationships crumbled, some gained weight, some of them contemplated suicide, and for some of them, they still suffer from depression, agoraphobia, and crippling mental disorders. This might seem staggering, ladies and gentlemen, yet thousands of individuals squealed in delight when they were told that they were chosen to become a Swan because they were sick of being called ugly, they were sick of insecure marriages, and this is the product of our beauty-obsessed culture. Yet another blight that consumes so many young people is anorexia nervosa, an eating disorder that is characterized by a fear of weight gain leading to malnutrition or excessive weight loss. Kirsten Haglund was 19 when she became Miss America in 2008, one of the youngest beauty queens ever to win the national title. Yet, she was the victim of anorexia. She now uses this platform of her title to raise awareness about this very sensitive subject. She was struggling with this disturbing disorder since the age of twelve. Consuming fewer than 900 calories daily, less than half the recommended for the average woman her age, she became obsessed with the need to reduce her weight even further. Starving herself and adding even more exercise to her regular routine and demanding schedule, she arrived to a nearly irreversible condition. If not for the help of her mother and multiple specialists, she would have reached a point of no return. And all of this is for the sake of fitting herself into the image of beauty, inculcated into her mind by the questionable standards of our society. From time to time, I wonder. Why do we hold physical traits with such high regard? Do we not realize that what’s inside is far more important? I mean, you might have the gratification of looking great, and you might have that satisfaction of fitting into a smaller shirt, but besides showing that you’ve changed your appearance, what else does that say about you? Now, let me show you guys something special, something you might not believe. So this is me when I was ten years old. As you can see, I was fat, like really, really fat, but it didn’t bother. I mean, I played tennis and badminton, and everything, but man, I just loved eating. So I just ate and ate and got fatter and fatter until I reached puberty, when I just slimmed down all of a sudden. You see, I completely forgot I looked like this until one day I was going through old photos. I just went, “oh my goodness!” I rushed to my mom, I said, “Mom, how could you let me look like this?” But she was puzzled and said, “Look like what?” “This! This!” She laughed and said, “Oh you mean looking fat? Ryan, you’re my son, I love you, and nothing will every change that.” And it was that moment when I just got it. Look, I was more than just a fat kid. I was positive, I was cheerful, I was helpful, I might not have had the best physique, according to society, that is, but I have never lacked friends, and throughout my life, I have always had happy people around me. However you may look like on the outside, it is your character that makes you truly shine. Ladies and gentlemen, do we love others just because of looks? Don’t we love them because of who they are deep within? Would we stop loving them if they gained a few pounds, developed acne, stopped putting on makeup, or cut their hair? A famous playwright once wrote, “Do I love you because you are beautiful, or are you beautiful because I love you?” These words reflect the idea that beauty is purely subjective, and that it can from appreciation, not just the other way around. We need to educate our children and grandchildren that physical characteristics alone do not constitute beauty. We need to change and we need it now. France, Spain, Italy, and Israel have enacted legislations banning overly skinny models. Empowering hashtags, such as “Honor My Curves,” “Dare to Wear,” and “Celebrate my Size” has blown up over Instagram. Body positive movements are celebrated everywhere, and this is a good thing. The Body Positive Movement is a movement that encourages people to adopt a more affirming attitude towards their bodies with a goal of improving overall health and fitness. Because when we are able to live peacefully inside our own bodies, only then are we able to care for others from a point of love and appreciation. We need more diverse models in the media, be it in terms of race, height, body size, skin color, be it black or white, brown or yellow, red or green, or blue or polka-dotted, whatever! We need diversity because this world is diverse, man, people are diverse. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being skinny or putting on makeup. But there is nothing wrong with being not skinny and not putting on makeup. I’ll tell you what, if you want to put on weight, you put on weight. If you want to slim down, you slim down. If you want to hit the gym, you hit the gym. If you want to put on makeup every day, you put on makeup every day. If you want to dye your hair in rainbow colors, I don’t see why not. Be whoever you want to be because that is who you truly are. Beauty is everywhere and inside everyone. We may not be able to see inner beauty in person, but we can definitely feel it. I would like to leave you with these beautiful words by poet Erin Hanson. You’re made of so much beauty, But it seems that you forgot, When you decided that you were defined, By all the things you’re not. Whoever they are are, whatever they may say, be strong, be different, Be-you-tiful.