1بخش

Shit

Andrew, hey

Here you go, Your regular lattes

Literally saved my life Thank you, Thank you

Everyone OK - Yeah

Yeah - Me too

Hello, Frank, How’s my favorite writer?

Of course you’ve been thinking about our talk

because you know I’m right

Frank, people in this country are busy, broke,

and they hate to read They need someone they can trust to say,

“Hey Don’t watch CSl: Indianapolis tonight

Read a book Read Frank’s book, “ And that person is Oprah

Cuttin’ it close - One of those mornings

Thank you, Captain Obvious

Sweet

Uh, sorry , Jesus

Rub some dirt on it, brother

Frank, the truth is all A- plus novelists do publicity

Roth, McCourt, Russo, and

Frank Can I tell you what else they have in common, A Pulitzer

I need the shirt off your back, Literally

You’re kidding, right - Yankees, Boston, this Tuesday,

two company seats for your shirt You have five seconds to decide

Five, four, three, two, one

I know

Shh - Later

Uh-oh

Uh, hello, Hello?

Morning, boss, You have a conference call in 30 minutes

Yes, About the marketing of the spring books, I know

Staff meeting at 9:00

Did you call, um What’s her name?

The one with the ugly hands

Janet - Yes, Janet

Yes, I did call her, I told her that

if she doesn’t get her manuscript in on time

you won’t give her a release date Your immigration lawyer called

He said it’s imperative

Cancel the call, push the meeting to tomorrow

and keep the lawyer on the sheets

Oh, and get a hold of PR,

have them start drafting a press release

Frank is doing Oprah

Wow, Nicely done

If I want your praise, I will ask for it

Um

Who is, uh, who is Jillian?

And why does she want me to call her?

Well, that was originally my cup

And I’m drinking your coffee why?

Because your coffee spilled

So, you drink unsweetened cinnamon light soy lattes?

I do, It’s like Christmas in a cup

Is that a coincidence?

Incredibly, it is

I mean I wouldn’t possibly drink the same coffee that you drink

just in case yours spilled

That would be pathetic

Morning, Miss Tate’s office

Hey, Bob

Actually, we’re headed to your office right now, Yeah

Why are we headed to Bob’s office?

Oop

Have you finished the manuscript I gave you?

Uh, I read a few pages I wasn’t that impressed

Can I say something - No

I’ve read thousands of manuscripts,

and this is the only one I’ve given you

There’s an incredible novel in there

The kind of novel you used to publish

Uh, wrong, And I do think you order the same coffee as I do

just in case you spill, which is, in fact, pathetic

Or impressive - I’d be impressed

if you didn’t spill in the first place

Now remember, you’re just a prop in here

Won’t say a word

Ah Our fearless leader and her liege, Please, do come in

Oh, Beautiful breakfront, Is it new?

It is English Regency Egyptian Revival, built in the 1800s

but, yes, it is new to my office

Witty

Bob, I’m letting you go

Pardon?

I asked you over a dozen times to get Frank to do Oprah, and you didn’t do it

You’re fired

I have told you that is impossible

Frank hasn’t done an interview in 20 years

Well that is interesting, because I just

got off the phone with him, and he is in

Excuse me?

You didn’t even call him, did you?

But - I know, I know

Frank can be a little scary to deal with, For you

Now, I will give you two months to find another job

And then you can tell everyone you resigned, OK?

What’s his twenty?

He’s moving, He has crazy eyes

Don’t do it, Bob, Don’t do it

You poisonous bitch

You can’t fire me

You don’t think I see what you’re doing here?

Sandbagging me on this Oprah thing

just so that you can look good to the board?

Because you are threatened by me

And you are a monster - Bob, stop

Just because you have no semblance of a life

outside of this office,

you think that you can treat all of us

like your own personal slaves

You know what, I feel sorry for you

Because you know what you’re gonna have on your deathbed?

Nothing and no one

Listen carefully, Bob

I didn’t fire you because I feel threatened, No

I fired you because you’re lazy, entitled, incompetent

and you spend more time cheating on your wife

than you do in your office

And if you say another word,

Andrew here is gonna have you thrown out on your ass, OK?

Another word and you’re going out of here

with an armed escort

Andrew will film it with his little camera phone

and he will put it on that Internet site

What was it - YouTube?

Exactly, Is that what you want?

Didn’t think so, I have work to do

Have security take his breakfront out of his office

and put it in my conference room

Will do

And I need you around this weekend

to help review his files and his manuscript

This weekend - You have a problem with that?

No, I, just my grandmother’s 90th birthday,

so I was gonna go home and

it’s fine, I’ll cancel it

You’re actually saving me from a weekend of misery anyway,

so it’s, good talk, yeah

I know, I know, OK, tell Gammy I’m sorry, OK, What

Mom, What do you want me to tell you?

She’s making me work the weekend

No, I’m not, no

Listen, I’ve worked too hard for this promotion

to throw it all away, OK?

I’m sure that Dad is pissed,

but we take all of our submissions around here very seriously

We’ll get back to you as soon as we can

Was that your family - Yes

They tell you to quit - Every single day

Miss Tate’s office

Oh, Yeah, OK, All right

Bergen and Malloy want to see you upstairs immediately

OK, Come get me in ten minutes, We’ve got a lot to do

Okey-doke

Good morning, Miss Tate

Jack, Edwin

Margaret, congratulations on the Oprah thing

That’s terrific news - Thank you, thank you

This isn’t about my second raise, is it, Just kidding

Margaret, do you remember when we agreed

that you wouldn’t go to the Frankfurt Book Fair

because you weren’t allowed out of the country

while your visa application was being processed?

Yes, I do

And, you went to Frankfurt

Yes, I did, We were going to lose DeLillo to Viking

So, really didn’t have a choice, did I?

It seems that the United States Government

doesn’t care much who publishes Don DeLillo

We, uh, just spoke to your immigration attorney

Great, So, we’re all good, Everything good?

Margaret, your visa application has been denied

And you are being deported

Deported?

And apparently there was also some paperwork

that you didn’t fill out in time

Come on, Come on It’s not like I’m even an immigrant

I’m from Canada, for Christ’s sake

There’s gotta be, there’s gotta be something we can do

We can reapply, but unfortunately

you have to leave the country for at least a year

OK, OK, well, that’s not ideal, but, uh

I can, uh, I can manage everything from Toronto

No, Margaret

with videoconferencing and Internet

Unfortunately, Margaret,

if you’re deported, you can’t work for an American company

Until this is resolved I’m going to turn operations over

to Bob Spaulding

Bob Spaulding, The guy I just fired?

We need an editor in chief

He is the only person in the building who has enough experience

You cannot be serious, I beg of you - Margaret

We are desperate to have you stay

If there was any way, any way at all

that we could make this work, we’d be doing it

There is no way

I am begging you

No, Margaret, Excuse me, we’re in a meeting

Sorry to interrupt - What, What

Mary from Miss Winfrey’s office called, She’s on the line

I know - She’s on hold

She needs to speak with you right away I told her you were otherwise engaged

She insisted, so, sorry

So