3بخش

Fine

Does this work for you - Oh, I like this, Yeah

Will you marry me - No

Say it like you mean it

Andrew - Yes, Margaret?

Sweet Andrew - I’m listening

Would you please, with cherries on top, marry me?

OK, I don’t appreciate the sarcasm, but I’ll do it

See you at the airport tomorrow - Good

So, these are the questions that INS is gonna ask us

Now, the good news is is I know everything about you,

but the bad news is that you have four days

to learn all this about me So, you should, probably get studying

You know all the answers to these questions about me?

Scary, isn’t it - A little bit

What am I allergic to - Pine nuts

And the full spectrum of human emotion

Oh, that’s, that was funny

Mmm-hmm - Umm

Here’s a good one, Do I have any scars?

I’m pretty sure that you have a tattoo

Oh, you’re pretty sure?

I’m pretty sure, Two years ago, your dermatologist called

and asked about a Q-switched laser

I of course Googled a Q-switched laser

and found that they in fact do remove tattoos

But you canceled your appointment

So what is it, Tribal ink?

Japanese calligraphy, Barbed wire?

You know, it’s exciting for me to experience you like this

Thank you, You’re gonna have to tell me where it is, though

No, I’m not - They’re gonna ask

We’re done with that question We’re done with that question

On to another question Let me see, let me see

Oh, here’s one, Whose place do we stay at, yours or mine?

That’s easy, Mine

And why wouldn’t we stay at mine?

Because I live at Central Park West

And you probably live at some squalid little studio apartment

with stacks of yellowed Penguin Classics

Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seat belts

We are beginning our descent into Juneau

Juneau, I thought we were going to Sitka

We are - How are we getting to Sitka?

Whoa

All right, Here we go

Oh, there he is - Andrew

Hi, Right this way

Hi - Oh

It’s so good to see you - You’re suffocating him, Grace

Come here - Hey, Gammy

Ah, Gammy, How are you doing, Where’s Dad?

Oh, you know your father He’s always working

Never mind about him, Where’s your girl?

Uh, she’s, right there

Ah - There she is

I guess the word “girl” is inappropriate

Annie

Hi - Hello

Margaret, this is my mom - Oh, hello

Yeah, great, This is my gammy, Annie

Pleasure - Well, hello there

Now, do you prefer being called Margaret or Satan’s Mistress?

We’ve heard it both ways

Actually we’ve heard it lots of ways

She’s kidding

Oh Oh, OK

Thank you so much for

allowing me to be a part of this weekend

Oh, you’re welcome We’re thrilled to have you

Let’s get you two back to the fort

OK - Oh

It’s so good to see you - There we are

Andrew

Andrew, Andrew

Please, don’t do that

You didn’t tell me about all the family businesses, honey

He was probably just being modest, dear

Oh

What are we doing, Shouldn’t we check into our hotel right now?

Oh, we canceled your reservation

Family doesn’t stay at a hotel

You’re gonna stay in our home

Oh, great Great

What - God

You’re gonna wanna use your legs to lift that one

Andrew Help her with those

I’d love to, but she won’t let me do anything

She insists on doing it all herself She’s one of those, she’s a feminist

Come on, sweetie

You see the shoes that broad was wearing?

This is the last of ‘em

Oh - Ooh

Five second rule - Got it

That will dry right off

Psst Psst I’m not getting on that boat

You don’t have to See you in a few days

Psst You know I can’t swim

Hence, the boat

Come on

Come on, Here we go

Looking good, boss Take your time, though

Shh

She comes with a lot of baggage

Just gonna give you a little hand here

Hand off ass Off ass

There you go, You’re there

Congratulations I’m a hundred years old now

Here we are, We’re home

That is your home?

Who are you people?

Why did you tell me you were poor?

I never said I was poor - But you never told me you were rich

I’m not rich, My parents are rich

OK, you know what, That’s something only rich people say

Hey, Andrew Welcome home

Hi Mom, what is this?

Nothing, It’s just a little welcoming party

Is that a crime?

Just 50 of our closest friends and neighbors

And all excited to meet you

Oh, good, Good - Come on, Come on

A party - Yeah, I guess so

Come on, Let’s go, My grandma’s moving faster than you

Put your back into it

So nice to meet you, Margaret, Welcome to Sitka

Jill, Hi, Nice to meet you My pleasure

Why didn’t you tell me you were some kind of Alaskan Kennedy?

How could I?

We were in the middle of talking about you for the last three years

OK, know what, Timeout, OK?

This bickering Bickerson thing has got to stop

People need to think that we are in love, So let’s just

That, that’s no problem I can do that

I can pretend to be the doting fiancé That’s easy

But for you, it’s going to require

that you stop snacking on children while they dream

Very funny, When are you going to tell them we’re engaged?

I’ll pick the right moment

Hey, Andrew, Hi

Mrs, McKittrick, How are you, Nice to see you

Nice to see you, Mr, McKittrick This is Margaret

Hi, Pleasure - Margaret

Hi, how are you, Pleasure

So I always wanted to know, what does a book editor do?

That’s a great question, Louise

I’m curious to know the answer myself

Hello, Dad - Son

This must be Maggie

Uh, Margaret

Joe, Pleasure to meet you - Pleasure’s mine

So why don’t you tell us exactly what a book editor does

Besides taking writers out to lunch and getting bombed

Now that sounds like fun

No wonder you like being an editor

No, Louise, Andrew’s not an editor, he’s an editor’s assistant

Maggie here is the editor

Margaret

So you’re actually - Andrew’s boss, Yeah

Well, How about that

Huh

I think I’ll get a refill

Charming

That’s a hell of a first impression, Dad

What the hell, Andrew?

You show up here after all this time with this woman you hated

and now she’s your girlfriend - We just got here

Can we wait two seconds

before we throw the kitchen sink at each other?

Just never figured you for a guy who slept his way to the middle

Actually, I’ll have you know that that woman in there

is one of the most respected editors in town

She’s your meal ticket,

and you brought her home to meet your mother

She’s not my meal ticket, Dad She’s my fiancée

What’d you say - You heard me

I’m getting married

How are you - Good, good, Thank you

Would you care for some hors d’oeuvres?

No, I’m fine, Thank you very much

It’s a tradition

It’s the texture, I’m not a fish person

You’ll like it - You’re very sweet

I think if you’ll just taste it

Thank you so much

Ladies and gentlemen

I have a very important announcement to make

Margaret and I are getting married

It’s the paprika

So sorry

That’s OK, It’s wash-and-wear

Yep, Honey, Where you at?

Here it is

Come on down here, pumpkin

All right - OK

Oh, look at her, Look at her

Right there, ladies and gentlemen, There she is

Congratulations, Andrew

Thank you

Thank you very much

Time to celebrate - Get the champagne

So that was your idea of the perfect time

to tell them we’re engaged - Mmm

‘Cause it was brilliant Brilliant timing

Andrew, Hi

Gert, Oh, my God, Hey, hi, Wow

How you doing, I didn’t know that you were gonna be here

Your mom probably wanted it to be a surprise, So, surprise

Right - And

we’re being completely rude, Hi

Oh, God, This is my ex - Hi, I’m Gertrude

Oh Oh, wow, Wow - You can call me Gert

Well, congratulations, you guys

Thank you - Thank you

So did I miss the story?

What story - What story?

About how you proposed

Oh How a man proposes says a lot about his character

Yes - Yes, it does

I actually would love to hear the story, Andrew

Would you tell us?

Yeah - Yeah

You know what?

Actually, Margaret loves telling this story

so I’m just gonna let her go ahead and do that

‘Cause I think we should just sit in rapture

Huh Wow, OK

Wow, where to begin, this story

Well, um, wow

Mmm, yeah

OK, well, um, Andrew and I

Andrew and I were about to celebrate

our first anniversary together - Aw

And I knew that he’d been itching to ask me to marry him

And he was scared Like a little tiny bird

So I started leaving him little hints here and there

because I knew he wouldn’t have the guts to ask, but

That’s not exactly how it happened

No, Hmm - No, No

I mean, I picked up on all her little hints

This woman’s about as subtle as a gun

Yeah

What I was worried about was

that she might find this little box

Oh The decoupage box that he made

where he’d taken the time to cut out

tiny, little pictures of himself, Yes

Just pasted all over the box, Oh So beautiful

So I opened that beautiful, little decoupage

and out fluttered these tiny, little hand-cut heart confettis

And once they cleared, I looked down, and I saw

the most beautiful, big

fat nothing

No ring

No ring - What?

No, But inside that box

underneath all that crap

there was a little handwritten note

with the address to a hotel, date, and time

Real Humphrey Bogart-type stuff

Yeah

Masculine

Anyway, naturally, Margaret thought

I thought he was seeing someone else

It was a terrible time for me,

but I went to that hotel anyway

I went there and I pounded on the door,

but the door was already unlocked

And as swung open that door, there he was

Standing - Kneeling

Like a man - On a bed of rose petals,

in a tuxedo, Your son, Your son

And he was choking back soft, soft sobs

And when he held back the tears and finally caught his breath,

he said to me

“Margaret, will you marry me?

”

And she said, “Yep, “ The end, Who’s hungry?

That is quite a story

Oh, Andy - Gorgeous

You are so sensitive

Hand-cut confetti?

Hey Let’s see a kiss from you two cuties

Give her a kiss

No, Come on - Oh, yeah

Come on

OK, all right

OK, Here we go, Ready?

What is this, Kiss her on the mouth like you mean it

Kiss her, Kiss her - Kiss her

Kiss her Kiss her Kiss her Kiss her

OK

OK, All right - OK

Here we go - Mmm-hmm, OK

Oh

Andy Give her a real kiss

Gammy - A real one

Yeah - You can do it

Oh, great, ‘cause we love to snuggle

Don’t we, honey - We’re huge snugglers

Oh, my God, What is it?

Calm down, Kevin - Whoa You are cute

Who is this?

That’s Kevin, I’m sorry, Margaret - So cute

We just rescued him from the pound,

and he’s still in training, Sorry

Just be sure you don’t let him outside,

or the eagles will snatch him

No, don’t you listen to her

She’s just pulling your leg, isn’t she?

By the way, there are extra towels and linens and things

in here if you need them

And if you get chilly tonight

use this

It has special powers

Oh, what kind of special powers?

I call it the Baby Maker

OK, well, Then I guess we

gonna be super careful with that one

Yeah, I’m just gonna - Don’t throw it on the bed

We’d better turn in It’s been quite an evening

So good night, everybody

Good night - Good night

Good night - Good night, Gammy

Good night - Good night

Good night - Good night, Gammy

Thank you so much, Sweet dreams

Bye-bye, now - Bye

So, uh, you haven’t been home in a while

I haven’t had a lot of vacation time the last three years

Stop complaining

Um, Don’t look, OK?

OK

Are your eyes closed?

Completely

Are you sure - Yes, I’m sure