بخش 01

It’s a beautiful day It’s a rather nice day

A day for a glorious wedding

A rehearsal, my dear To be perfectly clear

A rehearsal for a glorious wedding

Assuming nothing happens That we don ‘t really know

That nothing unexpected Interferes with the show

And that’s why everything Every last little thing

Every single, tiny, microscopic little thing Must go

According to plan Our son will be married

According to plan Our family carried

Elevated to the heights of society

To the costume balls In the hallowed halls

Rubbing elbows with the finest

Having crumpets with Her Highness

We’ll be there, we’ll be seen Having tea with the queen

We’ll forget everything, That we’ve ever, ever been

Blimey! lt’s my dress is caught. Begging your pardon, ma’am.

Come on, dear. lt’s not me. lt’s my dress is caught.

Where is Victor? We might be late.

Fish merchants.

It’s a terrible day Now, don ‘t be that way

It’s a terrible day for a wedding

It’s a sad, sad state of affairs we’re in

That has led to this ominous wedding

How could our family have come to this?

To marry off our daughter; To the nouveau riche

They’re so common So coarse

Oh, it couldn ‘t be worse Couldn ‘t be worse? I’m afraid I disagree

They could be landrich, Bankrupt aristocracy

Without a penny to their name

Just like you and me

Oh, dear.

And that’s why everything Every last little thing

Every single, tiny, microscopic little thing Must go

According to plan Our daughter will wed

According to plan Our family led

From the depths of deepest poverty

To the noble realm Of our ancestry

And who would have guessed In a million years

That our daughter with a face Of an otter in disgrace

Would provide our ticket To a rightful place

Oh, Hildegarde.

What if Victor and l don’t like each other?

As if that has anything to do with marriage.

Do you suppose your father and l like each other?

Surely you must a little?

Of course not.

Get those corsets laced properly.

l can hear you speak without gasping.

You’ve certainly hooked a winner this time, Victor.

Now, all you have to do is reel her in. l’m already reeling, Mother.

Shouldn’t Victoria Everglot be marrying a lord or something?

Oh, nonsense! We’re every bit as good as the Everglots.

l always knew l deserved better than a fish merchant’s life.

But l’ve never even spoken to her.

Well, at least we have that in our favor.

Mayhew! Silence that blasted coughing.

Marriage is a partnership, a little tit for tat.

You’d think a lifetime watching us… .

Might have taught her that

Might have taught her that Everything must be perfect

Everything must be perfect Everything must be perfect

Perfect That’s why everything

Every last little thing

Every single, tiny, microscopic little thing Must go

According to plan

Look at the way you’re standing.

You look like you got rickets or something.

Oh, my goodness. Oh, such grandeur! Such impeccable taste!

Oh, beautiful, innit?

lt’s not as big as our place, dear.

Bit shabby really, isn’t it? Shut up.

Lord and Lady Everglot…

…Mr. and Mrs. Van Dort.

Why, you must be Miss Victoria.

Yes, l must say, you don’t look a day over 20. No, Oh, yes.

Smile, darling, smile.

Well, hello. What a pleasure. Welcome to our home.

Thank you.

We’ll be taking tea in the west drawing room.

Oh, do come this way, it’s just through there.

Oh, l love what you’ve done with the place. Who is your decorator?

Nice tiles, shame about the drapes.

My husband says such foolish things. lgnore him.

Do forgive me. You play beautifully.

l l l do apologize, Miss Everglot. How rude of me to Well… .

Excuse me.

Mother won’t let me near the piano.

Music is improper for a young lady.

Too passionate, she says.

lf l may ask, Miss Everglot…

…where is your chaperon?

Perhaps, in ln view of the circumstances…

…you could call me Victoria.

Yes, of course. Well… .

Victoria… . Yes, Victor.

Tomorrow, we are to be m

M M

Married. Yes. Married.

Since l was a child, l’ve l’ve dreamt of my wedding day.

l always hoped to find someone, l was deeply in love with.

Someone to spend the rest of my life with.

Silly, isn’t it? Yes, silly.

No. No, not at all, no.

Oh, dear, l’m sorry.

What impropriety is this?

You shouldn’t be alone together.

Here it is, one minute before 5, and you’re not at the rehearsal.

Pastor Galswells is waiting. Come at once.