Demo- Answering Task 2 From Start to Finish - PART 2

Let’s go into the second body paragraph here now on the one hand. What are we going right here. Of course in. On the other hand and the next thing we need to do is to present our opinion again. We need to make it very clear to the reader what our opinion is throughout the response. We made it very clear that this is not our opinion because we wrote those who believe are naturally over here. We go on to write I. All right. Might some sort of personal pronoun being used here. So on the other hand maybe you’re right. My view is that my view is that so on the other hand my view is that this conflict. So we’re not writing teenage conflicts. We are using definitions of pronouns to reference. My view is that this conflict my view is that this conflict is important because so a slightly different structure but the exact same idea. You want the view in you want the arguments the view and the argument the view is that it’s important and the argument comes after because my view is that this conflict is important because it can help the teenagers to rise. So now we could use develop. So we haven’t used the noun. We can use the verb if we sit with it a little bit longer we might be able to think of a good synonym for example mature. It can help teenagers to mature. You could use something else it can help teenagers to find their own voice is a nice idiom but lots of different things that you can right here. The important thing is you have your view and you have your argument. Okay it’s a poor sentence. Same kind of thing again and this is because I know you don’t want to be repetitive so let’s stick with it. Another thing that we can stay in said is just this is due to or the reason for this is nothing spectacular ever again. You these cohesive devices should just help the reader to follow the essay. They shouldn’t be looking at these devices and thinking wow they should just be almost not noticing them. So the band descriptives actually say in coherence and cohesion for band 9 uses cohesion in a way which attracts no attention. So that’s the main idea of cohesion. So the reason for this is that again we go I think of another word for conflicts. Maybe we can extend it and create a phrase from it instead something like by having disagreements. So the reason for this is that by having disagreements teenagers What’s another word for teenagers adolescents noticed with a t s not with the Sikhs were looking into people. The reason for this is that by having disagreements adolescents can form their own opinions maybe form. And then there’s that why develop as well so you can create it and then you can develop it. So form and develop their own opinions. Again we’ve got an example. So instantly into the for instance we use for example will now news for instance French stentz a child may grow up in a family of the tame meat eaters. Notice the hyphen here very important for the punctuation. Although it is difficult to know when to use them. So for instance a child may grow up in a family of meat eaters but feel very strongly about not eating meat. Okay. Now now this is interesting because I’ve ended the sentence here but I need to extend it. It’s not enough. It does. No idea here about voicing an opinion about forming an opinion about justifying it to yourself about about conflict there’s no conflict here no conflict between people anyway. So I want to write it in my next sentence. But of course in my plan I’ve gone with a different route. All I need to do is be willing to change my plan. This is an important point to make about planning. Do not feel trapped by your plan. You should be able to modify it as you go. If you need to. So what I’m going to do instead here is I’m going to remain with the same example and we’re going to look at the alternative. Not of no conflict in general but the alternative of this specific examples so no conflict or stay quiet about being a vegetarian. And then the negative results of that. So you know she’ll be against principles. So for instance a child may grow up in a family of meat eaters but they’ll feel very strongly about not eating meat. If this child. Does not voice their opinion. So okay to use their it’s gender neutral when we know we’re not dealing with a plural. You don’t have to write his slash her all the time even just right there. So if this child does not voice their opinion they will be going against their principles. So I got four sentences here. This leaves me with a space to open up one more where I can look at the alternative of that alternative says like an alternative on top of alternative but it drives the point home at the very end so I could say however if this child or if they are referencing if they are willing to engage in conflict with their parents their conscience helps spelt that wrong have having their conscience will be much clearer despite the what’s a negative word a word for feeling negative. Let’s go with the word agony. It’s a bit strong but it puts the point across despite the agony of the arguments. Okay so. However if they are willing to engage in conflict with their parents their conscience will be much clearer. Despite the agony of the arguments we’ve got the first conditional being used twice in a row. That’s absolutely fine. Both scenarios are very possible. You would be absolutely fine to write the second condition was well and just argue that it’s a hypothetical example. Either one is fine here. But let’s just check the word count. So you got 2 to 8. So we just set it up really nicely for that conclusion. Conclusion only needs to be about 30 or 40 words and we’ve got thirty two words to Right before we hit the minimum word count so we’re right on track. So here we went for in the end we went for topic sentence support sentence example alternative and results of the example. And then the alternatives that alternative and the result so can be quite a good technique as well. Uses a lot of complex krammer like conditionals throughout. Okay clote conclusion again. We had a template and what we need to do is summarize both the views and the arguments for the views and we need to give our opinion as well. You can do this in two sentences. I’m going to try and do it in one. The first reason for that is that it saves time. And the second reason is that it introduces complexity again. So it’s very strong so nice and simple to begin with. In conclusion really doesn’t matter how you state your conclusion as long as it’s logical. So in conclusion perfectly fine and then just like we did up above with the Although we had a subordinating conjunction we’re going to use another one. We’re going to say despite a little bit trickier to use this one but it’s a good challenge. So despite when you use despite it can be best to start with the argument and then move to the view. So the arguments for the top one is about damaging relationships. So despite the danger of damaging relationships which teenage conflict can create. Okay so we’ve use the view at the end and the argument at the beginning. So despite the danger of damaging relationship which teenage conflict can create it is my firm belief that the nice little bit of opinion language but absolutely essential for the task because we need to be very clear about what our view is. In the introduction in the body and the conclusion to present a clear position throughout the response it is my firm belief that this time of friction similar to conflict in the way that we are using it here. This is quite an advanced usage of the word friction. Not just throwing together but it is in a way because it’s like people rubbing against one another in terms of their emotions. It is my firm belief that this time of friction this period of life this time of friction is okay essential important. What else do we have. Necessary What’s another one. Let’s go with vital crucial lots to think about here. These are the words that you need to have a lot of synonyms for because they come up all the time. Vital crucial important essential necessary things like that. So does my firm belief that this time of friction is a vital step on the path to so nice medium here step path those words. So when I say collocation Here’s step path. Those words often seen together. So use them together is a vital step on the path to becoming two teenagers becoming. We’ll come back and use that word again. And that’s okay. Doesn’t matter too much. Becoming mature. And nice bit of word formation here. I’m going to put two words together and I’m going to join them with a hyphen independently mined it independently minded to your joining an adverb. With an adjective there. Adults look at the word count to six six. So we are more than enough. Over on the word count. You won’t have of course that really quick word count tool on the day but over time you will develop a sense of what is 250 fifty words and what is not. Two hundred and fifty words and that should suffice. On the day because you don’t want to spend too much time going back and checking individual words. So if I if I needed to I would go back and check my work. Now looking for all of those things that I mentioned indy’s Checking your errors lecture. I don’t need to do that because I’m pretty confident that the language here is quite good. But that’s what I would want me to do on the day. If you had the time and hopefully you will have the time. So as I warned you this was always going to be a long lecture. Hopefully you haven’t found it too long and you found it quite helpful in terms of. Yeah you know how you can see how the structure how the essay progresses logically and clearly. But if you do have any queries or questions as always you know where to find me and. And we can now comfortably move on now in to the remainder of this course just a few lectures left so I’ll see you in the next lecture.