4بخش

Big, red truck It’s gonna be easy to find

It’s probably gonna say “Big Red” all along the side of the truck

in big red letters

Hey, Hank, you know that file back at Washington’s office?

Well, I used my acute peripheral vision to get a upside-down read

Wanna know what I saw, -What?

On one of them papers it said, “CIA heist”

And?

That’s all I saw “CIA” -That’s it?

Hey, look, man, I said I got peripheral vision not X-ray vision, man All right?

Now apparently, We are caught up in some real live

complex-ass, espionage shit

This is great man, isn’t it?

Me and you, man, we’re security guards out here acting like real cops

I was a real cop, Earl -Well you must’ve loved it, huh?

I can’t believe you gave that up

Yeah There’s Route 1

Stay on the freeway’ it’s a lot faster

They wanna keep a low profile They’re gonna go Route 1

Stay on the freeway No, on the freeway come on

Don’t -Oh shit!

Hey come on, -Freeway traffic, man

Stay on the freeway -We’re in the middle of the street

What are you doing?

Let go of the wheel, -Freeway!

What are you doing, Hank?

Oh shit!

God Are you okay, -Yeah

Shit -Hey!

Sorry

Somebody was right about the freeway -What?

Look at that You can’t tell me that ain’t a big, red truck

Yeah, yeah

Gun under the seat

Hank, Hank!

Hank!

Get off me

Hey, -Shoot her Hank

Shoot this big bitch Hank’s about to shoot you

No, I ain’t gonna shoot anybody Put him down

in a minute or two No hurry

I don’t like nobody messing with my rig

Don’t be a pussy Hank Shoot her!

You oversized, big-boot’ thick-ass Jerry Springer-reject ass–

Earl come on Let’s go -No, man

Shaq here owes me an apology

But then again

what your name is?

Brittany

Yeah?

Got a ring on every finger except that lock down one, huh?

You like to wrestle, Because that’s my thing I like to wrestle

Earl Earl, come on, let’s go

Why don’t you give me your number?

And if you’re nice, I’ll show you what a real big rig looks like

Earl come on!

I’ll call you -Let’s go, The truck’s leaving

I’m with you Hold on, hold on -Come on!

Think these are our guys, -How the hell am I supposed to know?

No, wait Wait No

Sorry

Earl!

Earl come on!

Come on, come on!

Swing around!

Oh my knee

Oh shit

Hey, come on, Come on, come on

You did that on purpose -Look

So that’s Why the cops couldn’t find the van

Hey, do you know how to hot-wire a car?

Oh because I’m black I automatically know how to hot-wire a car?

Do you know how or don’t you, -Yeah

But not because I’m black -Do it then

Move your leg, man Close your legs -Get in there

See that, -All right, go, go, go

Okay

See that spark when one of them bumped into each other?

That’s because that red wire is What gives off all that energy

I don’t care -See how that’s sparking there?

Got it?

How’s that, What’s that doing, -Earl the Windshield Wipers are on

Must be a ‘94 I touched the wrong one

How’s that?

What’s that, -What the hell?

Turn it off Turn it off, -Oh come on

Somebody’s back in that trailer Let’s take a look

Eddie look out!

Do it Come on come on, come on -Yeah

Go!

Oh shit!

Thanks, Hank

That’s the second time in 20 minutes you landed us in some shit

Hey, you messing with Earl and Hank!

What the problem is?

Let’s find out what the hell is in these boxes

Oh Hank!

Oh it stinks

Oh damn -Sorry

Damn, it looks like Christmas

Except for these fish guts and orange peels

Please be guns Please be guns

What the hell is that?

This is a beer keg

It doesn’t make any sense

It makes sense when you put together the pieces

What pieces?

It’s obvious

The CIA they’re smuggling alcohol

into the inner city in an effort to further subjugate the black man

Hey, do you actually believe the crap that comes out of your mouth?

Oh I’m never really sure until I’m finished talking

Think they all kegs?

Yeah Nash We got a problem

Well what we have here appears to be

your average garden-variety, $22-deposit beer keg

but it’s way too light

It must be light beer -Yeah, way too light

Couldn’t be a pound and a half Let’s take a peek inside huh?

Yeah, she’s empty all right

You think there’s a double Wall, Something stashed in between?

Happy to take a look

Put on the glasses boys, or you will go blind

This torch burns at 4000 degrees Fahrenheit

so let’s slice open this can of peaches

Incredible

She’s cold as ice

Gorgeous

Why don’t you and the keg get a room?

Gentlemen what we have here

is an Area 51 , high-tech’ aerospace alloy

It weighs next to nothing’ disperses heat instantaneously

and is resistant to almost any force in man or nature

Well is it worth anything?

Yeah, millions!

Which is exactly why

I Want you two to take this thing and get the hell out of my shop

Personally, I don’t feel like dying right now

and this is exactly the kind of shit people get killed over

Thanks