2بخش

Help,

Help!

Well, hello.

Hello, yourself.

Johnny English.

Lorna Campbell.

A Bloody Mary, please, not too spicy.

So, are you here in some professional capacity?

I worked on the restoration of the Jewels.

Intriguing

And yourself?

If I told you that, I’m afraid I’d have to kill you.

I’d like to see you try.

Monsieur Sauvage, on behalf of Her Majesty, may I welcome you to the Tower.

Merci, monsieur.

So, are you here alone, Mr English?

That’s how I choose to live my life, Miss Campbell.

Women want safety, security, I can offer them nothing but danger.

Some women find danger very attractive.

Women like you, Miss Campbell?

Women like me expect men like you to find that out for yourself.

Madame.

Oh, it’s for me, actually.

And could you rustle up some of those cheesy niblets that are going around?

Now, where were we?

You obviously haven’t met our host, Monsieur Sauvage.

No, thank God.

You know, I think I’d rather have my bottom impaled on a giant cactus

than exchange pleasantries with that jumped-up Frenchman.

As far as I’m concerned, the only thing the French should be allowed to host is an invasion.

Sorry, can I help?

Pascal Sauvage, jumped-up Frenchman.

Lorna Campbell, I’ve been so looking forward to meeting you.

But of course, You’re Johnny English, I’ve heard all about you.

And between you and me, I’m not so keen on the French myself.

But, please, don’t tell them that.

Let me go and search for your nibbly cheese bits.

Please, I insist, The French are, after all, fantastic waiters.

The best in the world

Well, but, But.

Wait here, and I will wait on you

No, no, really, There’s no.

No, no, Please, please, please, please!

Ladies and gentlemen, mesdames et messieurs, bienvenue, welcome tonight to this wonderful occasion.

As we stand here in the Tower of London, the most famous prison in the world, where these wonderful Jewels will rest safely under lock and key,

I want to thank you for giving me this wonderful experience to contribute to the restoration of these Jewels.

It was, as we say in France, le top, le best of.

And what a beautiful.

It’s Colonel Chevenix, He’s got a nasty wound, sir,

Who hit him?

The assailant

He ran in here.

Bough, you guard the door.

Oh, for God’s sake

Bough, don’t come in, The man’s a maniac!

You don’t frighten me!

Missed!

I have managed to subdue the assailant.

The panic’s over, Everything’s under control.

Thank you,

And now, ladies and gentlemen, we should compose ourselves for the arrival of Her Majesty and return to the site of our great nation’s magnificently restored Crown Jewels.

I know, I feel it, too.

The very symbols of our island nation, so close we could almost reach out and.

Pray silence for Her Majesty the Queen.

Oh, where are the Jewels?

It’s an unmitigated disaster, English.

I couldn’t agree more, sir.

Well, we need to get these Jewels back, English, and fast.

Tell me about this assailant, because when they searched the room later, there was no sign of him.

Well, the man was clearly a professional.

He must have escaped while the Queen was being sedated.

But he’s the only lead we’ve got, English

We have to find him.

Come in,

This is, This is Roger from Data Support.

Please sit down

He’ll produce a likeness based on your description.

So tell us, what did this man look like?

Well, He was big.

Hair colour

Orange.

Orange

Mmm, And curly.

Well, frizzy, actually, Frizzy sort of thing.

Frizzy

An eye patch.

Broken nose

Very few teeth.

Two, I would say, at the most.

And a scar on his cheek, in the shape of a banana.

Which cheek

Both cheeks.

They sort of met in the middle.

Are you sure about this, English?

Yes, that’s him

An uncanny resemblance.

Why, it’s just as if he’s in the room with us.

Wow, Look at this, sir

Got all the bells and whistles, doesn’t it?

Never mind about the gadgets, Bough,

Just focus on the case.

Good morning, gentlemen

Thank you very much for waiting.

Now, the question that faces us this morning is a simple one.

Namely, how did the thieves gain access to this highly secure environment and then escape with the Jewels afterwards?

A simple question, but one which I believe has a complex answer.

Actually, sir.

Please, Bough

My mind is at work.

Now, what you must grasp, gentlemen, is that the master criminal sees not a room, but a series of opportunities.

Should I go in through the window?

Possibly.

Should I drop down from the ceiling, Perhaps.

There’s one thing I think we can be fairly confident about, and that is that they didn’t come up through the floor.

I’ve got you, sir.

Right, That’s all right

Just come my way, Bough.

That’d bring me right over the hole, sir

Bough, there’s no need to panic.

Can you see the bottom yet, Bough?

Not yet, sir

The shaft appears to be narrowing.

I’m just a little bit worried I might get stuck.

Trust me, Bough

You won’t get stuck if you just keep moving.

Yes, sir.

Right, Okay, sir.

Are you at the bottom now, Bough?

No, I am in fact stuck now, sir.

Oh, for God’s sake, Bough

Stay there, I’m coming down.

Uh, I’m not especially sure that’s a good idea, sir.

Don’t worry.

Careful, sir!

Gently does it.

Sir?

You all right, sir?

Yes, I landed on something quite soft.

That was me, sir

Oh, good.

What now?

There’s no way back up there, that’s for sure.

But this must lead somewhere.

I’m ever so slightly uncomfortable in the dark, sir.

There’s nothing to worry about, Bough.

It may be pitch black, but we can still see.

Can we, sir, How?

The Bedouin monks of the al-Maghrib mountains developed a system of sonic chanting.

The sound of their chanting would bounce back off any obstacles, and using their highly tuned ears, they could paint a mental picture of the path ahead.

Brilliant, sir

However, you must always sing in E-flat.