بخش 06

Someone turn on the navigator on this thing.

Look how light I touch it.

Please enter your destination.

Please. I am begging you.

Yeah, this is gonna be good, Denisovich.

Scary stuff, okay? It’s in you.

We just gotta concentrate on the scary.

Papa Drac? Do you miss Grandma?

Miss Grandma? Sure, I do.

I miss her every day. She was my zing.

Why do you ask?

I don’t know.

Do you miss anybody?

I miss Mommy and Daddy.

And who else? You miss that Winnie?

The pup who tackles you and tries to lick you all the time?

Yeah, but we’re just friends.

Oh, no, no, no. You’re a Dracula.

You can’t just be friends with a cute, hairy number like Winnie.

Right turn, now! Here. You imbecile!

Oh, right. Turn, Griffin!

Yes, Papa Drac.

Wait and see, fellas. This kid’ll be guzzling goat blood in no time.

You have arrived at your destination. Yes!

Yes! Here we are.

It’s the vampire summer camp I went to as a kid.

What’s it, Camp Vamp?

No. Who names their camp Camp Vamp?

It’s Camp Winnepacaca.

You see, Denisovich?

This is where I learned to catch mice and shapeshift.

And use my incredible powers and strength. It’s pretty cool. Huh?

Badminton.

Yes, I don’t remember this badminting.

Well, well, is this a night? How ya doin, folks?

I’m Dana, the director.

We’re sure excited to have you legends visitin us.

What can I do you for?

Well, I’m very interested in sending my grandboy, Denisovich, here.

This little redheaded, nonfangy little guy?

Oh, they’re in there. He’s a late fanger. That’s why we came here.

Can you show us some of the drills,

like where they catch the mice?

Can do. Acourse now we call it TeeMousing.

So they don’t have to catch the mice?

Nope. We find this is a good way to build their confidence.

Come here.

It’s right there! What’s the matter with you?

Hokeypokey.

There it is, Denisovich. Where Papa learned to fly.

Ooh! I wanna fly like Papa.

Yeah. We’re over here, now.

Had to scale it down; Insurance.

Help me. Help me. Help me.

Hokeypokey. See ya at the campfire.

Well, gosh! Welcome, you two.

Hey, gang.

Hi, guys. This is so exciting.

Look at all of this. So cool.

Wow! I can’t believe I’m actually here.

Well, you are.

Now, how does it work? Are you up all night and sleep all day?

Yeah.

I’ll do whatever you guys want.

Good.

Cause I bought this pretty sunhat for you. Linda.

But otherwise this poncho, if you wanna be safe.

We can deal with it later, Linda.

Okay.

Come see.

I’ve set up your bedroom.

It’s just like Transylvania.

Oh, Transylvania. That was a fun experience.

Mike was afraid he’d get disemboweled and eaten,

but I told him he was just being silly.

That was you, Linda.

There they are.

You know, we have a couple of mixed families in the neighborhood,

so I thought I’d invite them over.

They might be nice for you guys to talk to since youre thinkin about moving here.

Hi, Caren. Hi, Pandragora.

Welcome, Mavis. Hey, guys.

Yeah, you’re gonna dig it here. Don’t even worry.

People are totally cool with our lifestyle choice.

I mean, the kids get picked on a little,

but it toughens them up.

Oh, hey, you guys. And this is Loretta.

She’s married to Paul, who’s a werewolf.

Excuse me?

Yes, I was telling Mavis about the other monsterhuman couples in town.

I am not a werewolf.

I thought.

Well, you’re welcome to stay and have some cupcakes.

Vampires will be friends forever

Through the centuries together

Even in the brightest sunny weather

Vampires will be friends forever

Literally

Forever

Great job, vampires. Give yourselves a hug.

We’re going.

What? Where?

Why are we doing this?

You’d rather be listening to those putrid new songs?

What happened to Michael Row Your Corpse Ashore?

Or Old McWerewolf Had An Axe?

We shouldn’t be up here, Drac.

Who’s ready to fly?

Me! Me! Like a superhero.

Better! Like a vampire!

This thing is rickety.

You know what? Maybe the kid isn’t supposed to fly.

Quiet. This is how they learn. You throw them and they figure it out.

It’s how I was taught.

I wanna fly now!

Attabat. You know Papas right here if you need him.

I can’t watch this.

Please don’t.

Here we go!

He’s still not flying.

He will.

Still not.

It’ll happen.

This is a tall tower.

That’s why it’s good.

You should get him.

He’s gonna fall to his death.

He’s taking his time.

Drac!

I did that my first time.

He’s getting too close to the ground!

You know what? He’s not gonna fly.

I told you. Papas always here for you.

Again! Again!

Oh, dear. Oh, my devil. We’re gonna have to report this.

You mean to the papers?

I guess it was pretty cool, but I’m not about getting press.

No, sir. I mean the authorities.

I can’t not report child endangerment.

Listen to me. That was fun.

Your singing is child endangerment.

Should we go down and help him?

Nope. I told him this was nuts. He’s on his own.

We have to call the boys mother.

No, that ain’t happening.

His mothers already nutsy koo koo!

I have to follow protocol.

You will not follow protocol.

I’m a vampire. I can’t be hypnotized.

Right.

Now, please. Don’t make me call the police.

No one’s calling nobody!

Fire! Stop, drop and roll. Stop, drop and roll.

Screaming’s not helping! Yay!

Are we bad guys, Papa Drac?