بخش 09

This is Draculas soninlaw.

I am Count Jonafang.

Bleh, bleh, black sheep

Have you any wool?

What’s that thing on your head?

Looks like my grandmother’s boobies.

Daddy, who’s the man with the funny face?

Is this the kid?

It sure is.

Let me see those fangs.

What are you doin?

Oh, I just love him so much.

I want to hug him right in the fangs that he has.

I repeat, lemme see those fangs.

Oh, he’s a late fanger, just like you.

Yes, Yes.

Just like me.

The big shot here was a little crybaby, all right.

Yes, yes, I was.

Used to pee in his bed.

Okay, Dad.

We just need to scare the fangs out of the kid.

Hare ha hangs?

Yeah, it’s what I did for Mr Tough Guy here.

First, you’ve got to possess something the late fanger finds sweet and innocent.

Then you show them what’s what and.

Pop

Trust me.

It’ll scare the fangs right out.

Right, Drac?

Seriously, guys, if I’m late for the book fair, I’ll miss the street fair.

That’s your guy.

Possessed?

But Dennis will be so upset.

Don’t you get it?

This is our ticket.

If it works for Denisovich, boom He’s a vampire.

And you all get to stay here.

All right, All right.

Capisce.

Good call.

Kids, everyone, have a seat.

Dennis has a big surprise for you.

The one and only Kakie, The Cake Monster

Hey, kids It’s me, Kakie

What a wonderful Kakie day it is

Now, I have a question.

Who here loves cake?

Rise

Why am I floating?

Can I have the stage manager, please?

This isn’t working for me.

Scary, Denisovich?

You feeling anything?

Any change?

Is Kakie okay?

I want all the cake.

Sharing is for cowards.

I don’t remember any of this from the TV show.

Um.

I think I saw it on a BluRay disc, bonus stuff.

Wait, why is Grandpa Vlad up there?

I’m scared, Papa.

What’s happening to Kakie?

You don’t eat cake.

Cake eat you

No

Stop it

What just happened, man?

I’m outta here.

None of these parents better review this on Yelp.

Hey, what did you just do?

A few more seconds and the kids fangs would have popped right out.

I don’t care.

It’s not worth it.

What’s not worth it?

It was my last attempt to make the boy a vampire, so you’d stay.

By ruining his favorite thing?

How could you do that?

We were desperate.

You were in on this?

Dennis wont be happy in my town.

Dennis hasn’t been there.

Now husband and wife

Feel the strain and the strife

Shut up

Johnny, Dennis is not a monster.

He likes avocado.

Cause you don’t let him eat anything fun.

I think Dennis just wants to be normal.

Can we stop using the word normal?

Where we live now, he’s normal.

He is who he is.

And you can’t change him, Dad.

Dennis, where are you going?

Away.

But it’s not safe out here by yourself.

I know a place where we can hide.

Follow me.

If you didn’t stop me,

my greatgrandson wouldn’t have to be a wimp his whole life

like Schlumpy over here.

A wimp?

Johnny, be cool.

You wanna throw down, old man?

Certified yellow belt since 1997.

No

What’s this now?

You’re not a vampire?

Bleh?

Of course he’s human.

He’s our son.

You think we’re monsters?

You You let your daughter marry a human and have a human kid?

Why don’t you just put a stake through my heart.

We don’t hate humans anymore, and they don’t hate us.

Humans?

You’re a fool.

Your greatgrandson is the sweetest, kindest,

most special boy I’ve ever met.

And if you can’t give him the love

he deserves because he’s halfhuman,

then you’re the fool.

Oh, Daddy.

Hey, where is Dennis?

Dennis

Dennis?

Happy birthday, Dennis.

I made you a treat.

Dead pigeon?

Enjoy it.

Cause once I graduate business school and start running a company,

you’re not gonna get homecooked meals like this anymore.

I have to move away, Winnie.

To California.

My mommy thinks I’m not happy here

cebause I don’t have hair on my face like you.

I’m sorry I’m not a monster.

No, you are perfect.

You’re the nicest boy I know.

And I have 300 brothers.

You’re nice, too, Winnie.

Well, well, well.

The little human and his pet.

Dennis

Denisovich

He’s not in the room.

He’s not by the pool.

He’s not in this pot of soup.

Where could he be?

I don’t know why I ever invited you.

Dennis

Dennis

Denisovich

Dennis

Stop squirming.

Why are you doing this?

Because this is wrong.

Why doesn’t anybody get that?

Humans don’t belong with monsters.

You’re wrong

I am not

I am holding you hostage.

And me and my crew are gonna tear that human hugging hotel to shreds.

You can’t.

Really Why not?

Cebause.

Cebause, why?

Cebause it will make Papa Drac sad.

Ooh Sad And what are you gonna do about it?

I don’t know.

You know why you don’t know?

Cebause you’re just a weak little boy.

What was that?

Dennis, were coming.

Are you okay, Winnie?

Yes, my zing.

Dennis

There he is, right there.

Dennis Baby

My big boy

Dennis, we were lookin for ya.

Sweetheart.

I’m so happy to see you.