bad_po

Hear the legends of the Kung Fu Panda

Raised in a noodle shop

Never seeking glory or fame

He climbed the mountaintop

and earned the “Dragon Warrior” name

kung fu panda

Master “Shifu” saw the warrior blossom

And master the skills of Bodacious and Awesome

Kung Fu Panda

He lives, and he trains

And he fights with the Furious Five

Protect the valley

Legends of Awesomeness

Sweet!

Harder, po!

Skid–oops.

A little too hard.

Your compassion and your aggression must be balanced to be a whole warrior.

It’s not really fair.

She’s scary!

Nevertheless, with croc bandits on the rampage, everyone must be at the top of their game.

Yeah.

And I’m gonna go look for ‘em right now, in the kitchen.

We agreed if you didn’t complete the entire course, you had to clean the archives.

Come with me.

Perhaps we should rethink these designs.

Cool!

I gotta say, as dumb chores go, this one’s kind of awesome.

The ancient locking stocks for the prisoner xie cho.

and xie cho junior.

Careful, po.

I love it.

I had it all the way.

Don’t handle the artifacts, po.

Just gently dust them.

I’ve heard of this.

The mystical mirror of yin and yang.

Cool!

That, you can handle.

Really?

Because it’s a replica.

The real one is safely locked away in that cabinet.

Don’t touch it.

dust.

The sooner you finish, the sooner you can search for crocs.

In the kitchen.

No, No!

Don’t touch it!

Po?

Nothing!

Mine, Mine, Mine, mine!

“po, clean that up”.

No!

A true warrior savors every bite of food, for it may be their last.

No way.

I gotta eat what I can before po gets here.

Oh, hey guys.

I just made you all woven grass slippers.

my food, po. Keep your hands off.

Oh, I’m not really hungry.

I’ll just go do everyone’s dishes.

Everybody, the crocs are attacking outside town.

Let’s go.

can I come, too?

Or is this just a you-guys thing?

Po, come on!

Thank you!

Stop! Please!

My grandmother gave me that vase.

Then tell her to get you another one.

Come on, let’s get out of here before–

Hey, everybody!

Those vases look heavy, Need some help?

Hand it over, fung.

Um, yeah, about that.

What?

You three stay here, we’ll go after the crocs.

Po, you go after him, and we’ll stay with these two.

Tigress!

Your fur is very shiny today.

Looks nice.

Just go!

What are you doing?

He got away?

We may still be able to get him.

If you and monkey go that way–

No, no, it’s okay. I let him go.

I can go–

What?

Wait a minute, you did what now?

What a nice guy.

Are you mad? You look mad.

You are mad!

Okay, okay. I’m gonna stop.

Okay, okay. I’m gonna stop.

Fine now.

It’s not just me, is it?

Po’s acting awfully weird.

Let me loosen this.

These ropes are totally gonna start chafing your backsides.

Po!

Did someone kick him in the head?

No, but I might.

There you are.

Shifu wants to see us all in the training hall.

Ah, run home to your mother, you pencil-necked mama’s boy.

Okay, great, so I’ll just tell–

Wait, what did you call me?

Pencil…Necked…Mama’s…Boy.

Hey, crane!

Quit following me!

Rude, insulting, poor excuse for a friend!

What?

Po, just in time. I need your help.

Table eight.

Ooh! These look delicious.

You better believe it.

Way too good for you, skunk breath.

Don’t you talk to my wife that way.

I’ll talk to her any way I want, rump nugget.

Po, what are you doing to my customers?

Nothing compared to what your so-called “noodles” are doing to them.

I have better noodles than these come out of my nose.

I never wanted to work in a noodle shop, Ever!

Oh, po, how could you say such things?

It’s about time someone told you the truth, old man.

Hi, dad.

How could you treat me like this?

What?

You should be ashamed of yourself.

What? What’s going on?

You!

That’s for knocking over my garbage, you scoundrel.

But I–

Thanks for smashing my ladder, Miscreant!

Creep!

Why does everyone hate me? I didn’t do anything.

Quit following me!

Sorry. Sorry, I–

Who are you?

I’m po, the dragon warrior.

You can’t be me. I’m me!

Lovable, friendly, slightly chubby po.

No, I’m me.

The bodaciously awesome dragon warrior.

Who does whatever he wants.

I’m me, the collector of all tchotchkes kung fu!

The defeater of foes!

The friend of the five!

The guy who annoys shifu!

oh, oh, oh, the mirror!

The mystical mirror of yin and yang!

It split me into two po’s.

Awesome!

shifu’s gonna know I disobeyed him. He’ll be so mad.

I’m so sick of that! Him and his stink eye.

He’ll be all…Disappointed.

Stop worrying about shifu!

Guess I gotta make sure you don’t get hurt, huh?

Sweet!

Look, I can take care of shifu.

We can work together, as long as you do whatever I say.

Uh, I’m not sure I–

And I’ll steal you a cookie.

I’m in.

And, uh, what exactly is the plan?

The plan is:

You stay down here forever, and I get to be the one and only dragon warrior.

I, uh…

I’m funny!

okay, I’ll, uh, I’ll just wait here then.

Everyone has a dominant side.

This exercise is meant to help strengthen your weaker side.

Hey, good lookin’. What’s shakin’?

Huh?

You’re late. Do you care to explain where you’ve been?

Not really. Skoogally-moogally-doo.

Punctuality is as vital a trait as any the dragon warrior possesses.

It is a reflection of–

Blah, blah, blah.

Save the pithy nugget of wisdom, sheefster.

Let’s do some stuff.

How about for being late I’ll take on monkey and crane with both hands tied behind my back?

Begin.

This one’s for my mom!

Po, enough!

Hey!

That all you got?

I thought you were supposed to be warriors.

Po! This is unacceptable.

Save it, bite-size.

You’re not the boss of me.

I’m the dragon warrior.

The universe chose me, not you.

You losers call me when you aren’t afraid of a little fighting.

Okay.

Something is wrong with our dragon warrior.

He seemed fine yesterday.

Training session. The archives.

Oh wait, the mystical mirror of yin and yang!

He’s been divided!

Po’s evil half could be deadly.

So true.

Huh?

Well it’s about time you woke up, sleepyhead.

Oh, did I wake you? Don’t be mad. I’ll talk quieter.

[whispering] inside voice.

The archives. He’s very clever.

Oh, yeah! I’d never spent much time in here before.

Check out this awesome echo thing you can do with your voice.

Hello! Hello!

How cool is that, huh?

Po, do you understand what’s happening here?

Um the sound waves bounce off the walls and they come back to–

You gazed into the mirror of yin and yang

And split yourself into good and evil selves.

Oh, that!

Which am I?

You are the good po.

Compassionate, innocent…

A bit over sensitive.

that’s not true.

But the evil po has none of those qualities

And all of the dragon warrior’s aggression and hostility.

That’s nice too!

Or no?

At sundown this becomes permanent.

We’ll be stuck with an evil dragon warrior

Whose powers are almost limitless.

I can touch my nose with my tongue!

I can’t believe it; I’m actually worried about po.

Yeah, I’m worried about us.

Seven of tongzi to wong, possible inside straight.

Gah-ri gets the north wind, no help there.

And the dragon warrior gets the five of bamboo, possible flush.

Action is still to fung with a pair of seasons.

Come on, lucky winter!

What is going on here?

‘sup, losers?

We got room for one more,

But I warn you, that croc is a shark!

You can’t be–

I can and will do anything I want.

I’m the dragon warrior, honey.

From now on, I call the shots.

You wanna do something about it?

Uh, if that includes leaving,

Yes.

This isn’t the time or the place.

You should listen to mama’s boy.

Hey. and while you’re at it, clear out your stuff.

All of you!

Your services are no longer needed.

The dragon warrior is taking over!

And believe me, there’s gonna be some change around here.

Evil po is growing stronger and more unstable with each passing minute.

We must end this madness.

Isn’t that gonna be hard, locked up like this

And the key is way over there?

Po, has that key been there all along?

Uh, no, just since the other me dropped it.

And do you see that you can reach it with your foot?

Yeah?

Oh, I see what you’re getting at!

But I totally promised other-me I’d stay here.

I really want me to like me.

Do you think I like me?

Po! Will you just–

yes, yes, he does like you.

And that’s why he left us a way out.

It’s like a puzzle, and you figured it out.

Good boy!

Yay me!

Yeah! For too long, you bandits have been under shifu and the furious five’s oppressive thumb…S.

Yeah!

Actually, they don’t all have thumbs.

You deserve better than that!

And I–I deserve respect. And I’ll get it.

Through fear and intimidation… And something else.

Burning down the village!

Yeah!

Then they will worship me!

Yeah!

Who’s with me?

We are!

Po’s lost his mind!

Where’s master shifu?

I’ve looked all over for him but I can’t find him.

We’ve got to stop po.

Hey guys, there you are.

Tigress, I was about to clean your room.

Move.

Good form.

good job, mantis.

I–oof–found them–ah!

Quiet!

I had that coming.

Tigress, stop.

This is not the dragon warrior who has been causing all the trouble.

All of you, come with me.

You too, po!

Yes!

And you think this plan will work?

Absolutely!

What plan? Sorry, missed it.

Aren’t crane’s feathers amazing?

If evil po sees his reflection in the mirror of yin and yang,

The two po’s will instantly reunite.

We should be able to get him to do that.

You’re sure he’s on his way here?

get outta the way!

Pretty sure.

This is gonna be so great!

what to wear for po worship?

No you don’t, sweets.

I can guess what happens if I look in that mirror again.

Be careful! If the mirror breaks,

Evil po is here forever.

Hi.

Really? I like that!

This po’s got all of the moves, and none of the sap!

And none of the friends, either!

I’d know that fist anywhere.

Um, guys? Careful, uh, if you want.

Uh, when you hit him, it hurts me!

Well, lucky for you,

We don’t seem to be landing many punches.

wait a minute.

If it hurts me when he gets hit…

Crane, now!

Mantis, go!

nice try, feeble five,

But this po does what he wants to.

And this po does what he needs to.

But–it can’t be! I broke the–

Replica!

Later on, me.

But–what–no!

No!

That… Was… Awesome!

Let’s eat!

It’s kinda weird to think that I have an evil side in me, shifu.

But you also have a good side, po.

They cannot be separated.

This is why we try to remain centered.

It is the balance that gives us strength

And brings peace of mind.

Very funny, shifu.

You’d rather go back to the goat lady?

nah, I’m good.

Ski-doosh!